Balang
  • Home
  • Speaking
  • Blog
lemon logo
Balang is committed to revolutionizing language learning, empowering individuals worldwide to achieve their aspirations through innovative technology and personalized education.
Terms of ServicePrivacy PolicyRefund Policy
Contact
Email
telegram logo
Telegram

Question: The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agre...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
It is claimed that there should be a decrease in the number of workloadworking hours per week and workforces should enjoy more days off. I agree with this statement in order to as this can contribute to higher productivity and workers' mental health. First and foremost, there might be a belief that heavy weekly work leadleads to higher productivity. WhileHowever, due to the fact that workers usually do not have adequate rest, they are more likely to make both minor and serious mistakemistakes in their jobjobs. For instance, if employees do not have sufficient leisure time to recharge themselves for a new working week, the overall productivity may sacrificebe sacrificed to fatigue. Thus, the more working days do not necessarily lead to fulfilling the aims of participants. As there is often a strong connection and cooperation between colleagues, a lack of energy in even one employee can affect otherothers's development. Moreover, allocating longer weekends to workers not only increaseincreases development but also deterioratereduces conflicts. When a person is tired, there is morea greater chance to loseof losing their temper easily. Therefore, enjoying enough rest can prevent from aggression in the work environment as a result of fatigue. This enables employees to cooperate well with each other, while increasing their cognitive abilities. In addition, people show more sympathy when they are in a good mood; they can feel their surrounding environment better than when they are frustrated. A boosted Boosted energy would lift the others' spirit either spirits and makecreate a friendlier atmosphere which is filled with positive energy and joy. In conclusion, from my point of view, despite the fact that many working hours provide productivity, it can cause many problemproblems for both workers and work placesworkplaces.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It is claimed that there should be a decrease in the number of workload hours per week and workforces should enjoy more days off. I agree with this statement in order to this can contribute to higher productivity and workers mental health
It is claimed that there should be a decrease in the number of workload hours per week, and workers should enjoy more days off. I agree with this statement, as it can contribute to higher productivity and improve workers' mental health.
First and foremost, there might be a belief that heavy weekly work lead to higher productivity. While due to the fact that workers usually do not have adequate rest, they are more likely to make both minor and serious mistake in their job. For instance, if employees do not have sufficient leisure time to recharge themselves for a new working week, the overall productivity may sacrifice to fatigue. Thus, the more working days do not necessarily lead to fulfilling the aims of participants. As there is often a strong connection and cooperation between colleagues, lack of energy in even one employee can affect other's development.
First and foremost, there is a common belief that heavy weekly workloads lead to higher productivity. However, the reality is that when workers do not have adequate rest, they are more likely to make both minor and serious mistakes in their jobs. For instance, if employees do not have sufficient leisure time to recharge for a new working week, overall productivity may suffer due to fatigue. Thus, more working days do not necessarily lead to achieving the goals of the employees. Since there is often a strong connection and cooperation among colleagues, a lack of energy in even one employee can negatively impact the development of others.
Moreover, allocating longer weekends to workers not only increase development but also deteriorate conflicts. When a person is tired, there is more chance to lose their temper easily. Therefore, enjoying enough rest can prevent from aggression in the work environment as a result of fatigue. This enables employees to cooperate well with each other, while increasing their cognitive abilities. In addition, people show more sympathy when they are in a good mood they can feel their surrounding environment better than when they are frustrated. A boosted energy would lift the others spirit either and make a friendlier atmosphere which is filled with positive energy and joy.
Moreover, allocating longer weekends to workers not only enhances productivity but also reduces conflicts. When a person is tired, they are more likely to lose their temper easily. Therefore, allowing sufficient rest can help prevent aggression in the workplace that stems from fatigue. This enables employees to collaborate effectively, while also enhancing their cognitive abilities. Additionally, people tend to show more empathy when they are in a good mood, allowing them to better perceive their surroundings compared to when they are frustrated. Increased energy can uplift the spirits of others, creating a friendlier atmosphere filled with positive energy and joy.
In conclusion, from my point of view, despite the fact that many working hours provide productivity, it can cause many problem for both workers and work places.
In conclusion, from my perspective, despite the notion that long working hours enhance productivity, they can lead to numerous problems for both workers and workplaces. Reducing workload hours and increasing time off can significantly benefit both employee well-being and overall organizational efficiency.
See more samples for this topic
Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
Loading
Linking Words
Loading
Spelling
Loading
Grammar Accuracy
Loading
Grammar Range
Loading
Cohesion
Loading
Paragraph Structure
Loading
Task Response
Loading
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt by taking a clear stance in favor of a shorter working week and longer weekends. The main arguments presented are that reduced working hours can lead to higher productivity and improved mental health for workers. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support these claims. For instance, citing studies or real-world examples where reduced working hours have led to increased productivity would strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of linking words and phrases such as "first and foremost," "moreover," and "in conclusion" helps to guide the reader through the argument. However, some sentences could be more clearly connected to improve the flow of ideas. For example, the transition between discussing productivity and mental health could be smoother, perhaps by explicitly linking how improved mental health can lead to better productivity.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at using more complex words and phrases such as "deteriorate conflicts" and "cognitive abilities." However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choice, such as "sacrifice to fatigue" and "boosted energy would lift the others spirit either." These could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, some repetition of words like "productivity" could be avoided by using synonyms or rephrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is positive. However, there are several grammatical errors that detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. For example, "there might be a belief that heavy weekly work lead to higher productivity" should be "leads to higher productivity," and "prevent from aggression" should be "prevent aggression." Attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and prepositions would improve the grammatical accuracy of the essay.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Provide Specific Examples: Incorporate specific examples or evidence to support the claims about productivity and mental health benefits.

  2. Improve Transitions: Work on smoother transitions between ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.

  3. Refine Vocabulary: Address awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices to improve lexical resource.

  4. Enhance Grammatical Accuracy: Pay attention to common grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and preposition use.

By addressing these areas, the essay would present a more compelling and polished argument in favor of a shorter working week.