Balang
  • Home
  • Speaking
  • Blog
lemon logo
Balang is committed to revolutionizing language learning, empowering individuals worldwide to achieve their aspirations through innovative technology and personalized education.
Terms of ServicePrivacy PolicyRefund Policy
Contact
Email
telegram logo
Telegram

Question: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population i...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In many communities, people in the countryside are travelling permanently to metropolises. This trend results in a decline in the population of these placesareas. I think this is a negative trend because it can bring crowdedness forovercrowding to cities, and resulting problems related to high density in population. Additionally, activities related to producing food production in towns blur. When people from smaller towns move to bigger cities, the cities face a massive amountinflux of population, which leads to some problems. Clearly, cities boast a number of citizens, and sufferssuffer from population density of population because they are not big enough to provide enoughsufficient space for people to settle in different placesparts of the city. Consequently, people’s time may be wasted during traffic densitycongestion. Moreover, resulted stand still resulting standstill traffic jams can bring air contaminationpollution because when cars are stopped, a huge amount of carbon dioxide releases tois released into the air, which results in illnesses, such as heart disease and high blood pressure. Therefore, cities cannot be appropriate places for living permanently for many people due to the problems comingarising from population density. Furthermore, if many rural people move to big cities, food producing becomeproduction becomes scarce. Rural areas have important roles in providing necessary products and food for their country because the countryside boasts high-quality soil and rainfall, which are crucial for farming. For example, gardeners who live in the countryside have access to specific types of gardening soil. In addition, horticulturists are able to use appropriate methods of irrigation in their gardens,; they have a crucial role forin providing different types of fruits, such as apples and oranges. As a result, if people who engage themselves in gardening and raising cattle leave their hometown and emigrate to cities, food producing areaproduction areas face a considerable amount of damage because lessfewer people are available in cities to provide food for the country. Thus, leaving many rural people from their hometowns is a negative phenomenon because this immigration can influence the food providingsupply of the countries detrimentally. In conclusion, many people living in towns are moving from their hometowns to bigger cities. This pattern has brought a decrease in the population of rural areas, which is a negative point because when the population raisesrises in cities, they face some problems related to crowdednessovercrowding. In addition to this, the decrease in the population of rural areas can makecreate issues related to food providingsupply.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In many communities, people in the countryside are travelling permanently to metropolises. This trend results in a decline in the population of these places. I think this is a negative trend because it can bring crowdedness for cities, and resulting problems related to high density in population. Additionally, activities related to producing food in towns blur.
In many communities, people from the countryside are permanently migrating to metropolises. This trend results in a decline in the population of rural areas. I believe this is a negative development because it leads to overcrowding in cities and associated problems related to high population density. Additionally, agricultural activities in rural areas diminish.
When people from smaller towns move to bigger cities, the cities face a massive amount of population, which leads to some problems. Clearly, cities boast a number of citizens, and suffers from density of population because they are not big enough to provide enough space for people to settle different places of the city. Consequently, people’s time may be wasted during traffic density. Moreover, resulted stand still traffic jams can bring air contamination because when cars are stopped, a huge amount of carbon dioxide releases to the air, which results in illnesses, such as heart disease and high blood pressure. Therefore, cities cannot be appropriate places for living permanently for many people due to the problems coming from population density.
When individuals from smaller towns move to larger cities, these urban areas experience a significant increase in population, which leads to various challenges. Clearly, cities are already home to a large number of residents and suffer from overcrowding because they often lack sufficient space for people to settle comfortably. Consequently, individuals may waste time in traffic congestion. Moreover, the resulting traffic jams can contribute to air pollution, as vehicles idling release substantial amounts of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, leading to health issues such as heart disease and high blood pressure. Therefore, cities may not be suitable places for long-term living for many people due to the problems arising from population density.
Furthermore, if many rural people move to big cities, food producing become scarce. Rural areas have important roles in providing necessary products and food for their country because the countryside boasts high-quality soil and rainfall, which are crucial for farming. For example, gardeners who live in the countryside have access to specific types of gardening soil. In addition, horticulturists are able to use appropriate methods of irrigation in their gardens, they have a crucial role for providing different types of fruits, such as apples and oranges. As a result, if people who engage themselves in gardening and raising cattle leave their hometown and emigrate to cities, food producing area face a considerable amount of damage because less people are available in cities to provide food for the country. Thus, leaving many rural people from their hometowns is a negative phenomenon because this immigration can influence the food providing of the countries detrimentally.
Furthermore, if many rural residents migrate to urban centers, food production becomes increasingly scarce. Rural areas play a vital role in supplying essential products and food for their countries, as the countryside typically has fertile soil and adequate rainfall, both of which are crucial for farming. For example, farmers in rural areas have access to specific types of soil that are ideal for gardening. Additionally, horticulturists can employ effective irrigation methods in their gardens, which are essential for producing various fruits, such as apples and oranges. As a result, if individuals engaged in agriculture and livestock farming leave their hometowns to move to cities, food production areas face significant challenges due to a reduced workforce available to supply food for the nation. Thus, the migration of rural residents is a negative phenomenon because it can adversely affect food production in the country.
In conclusion, many people living in towns are moving from their hometowns to bigger cities. This pattern has brought a decrease in the population of rural areas, which is a negative point because when the population raises in cities, they face some problems related to crowdedness. In addition to this, decrease in the population of rural areas can make issues related to food providing.
In conclusion, many individuals living in rural areas are relocating to larger cities. This trend has led to a decrease in the population of rural regions, which is concerning because as urban populations increase, cities encounter issues related to overcrowding. Additionally, the decline in rural populations can create challenges related to food production.
See more samples for this topic
Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
Loading
Linking Words
Loading
Spelling
Loading
Grammar Accuracy
Loading
Grammar Range
Loading
Cohesion
Loading
Paragraph Structure
Loading
Task Response
Loading
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the negative impacts of rural-to-urban migration. It provides two main arguments: the overcrowding of cities and the decline in food production in rural areas. The response is well-developed with relevant examples, such as the impact on traffic congestion and air pollution, as well as the importance of rural areas in food production. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced view by briefly acknowledging any potential positive aspects of urban migration, which would strengthen the argument by showing consideration of multiple perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with clear paragraphing and logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the use of linking words and phrases could be improved to enhance the flow of the essay. For instance, transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother, and more cohesive devices could be used to connect ideas within paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used in the essay is appropriate and relevant to the topic. There is a good range of vocabulary, such as "metropolises," "carbon dioxide," "horticulturists," and "irrigation." However, there are some instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as "travelling permanently" and "resulted stand still traffic jams." These could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, varying sentence structures and incorporating more complex vocabulary could further enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. For example, "cities boast a number of citizens, and suffers from density of population" should be corrected to "cities boast a large population and suffer from population density." Additionally, subject-verb agreement errors and awkward phrasing should be addressed to improve grammatical accuracy. Proofreading for these errors would enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Task Achievement: Consider acknowledging potential positive aspects of urban migration to provide a more balanced argument.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion: Use more linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow and connection between ideas.
  3. Lexical Resource: Revise awkward phrasing and incorporate more complex vocabulary and varied sentence structures.
  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Address grammatical errors, particularly subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasing, to improve clarity and accuracy.

Overall, the essay presents a clear argument with relevant examples but could benefit from improvements in coherence, vocabulary, and grammatical accuracy.