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Question: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population i...

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Nowadays a large number of individuals from suburbs are moving to cities in numerous countries. As a result, the number of people who are living in the countryside is dwindling. This change has its own pros and cons,; however, I believe the negative impacts of this action outweigh the benefits. This essay explains the drawbacks of the increasing immigration to cities. To begin with, the first impact of moving to cities affects on developmentsthe development of rural places. When people move to cities, and the number of residents in suburbs decreasedecreases, there will be less demand for developments,development and providing more public facilities. As a result, the government will not assign a budget for developmentsdevelopment in these areas, and people who are living over there will experience difficult situations. For instance, when fewer people live in rural areaareas, the new roads will not establish definitelybe established, besides,and the old roads will not maintainbe maintained in most cases. In this situation, the communication will become a serious problem for local people. It is widely accepted that this issue has negative impacts on cities. For instance, the rise ofin population in cities increase the increases air pollution, traffic, and noise, especially in big cities. Therefore, individuals in cities ought to struggle with problems such as living in crowded places, driving in rush hours, and spending a lot of time in traffic. In this circumstance, the dissatisfaction ofwith life will increase drastically. It is obviouselyobviously considerable that the government ought to overcome new obstacles like providing new public facilities for morea larger number of societypeople in some cities in a short time. Although at the firts first glance it would be a progress to create new facilities like schools, healthcare services, and hospitals, it would be a challenge for the government to manage the crowded cities, and due to the increase in mismanagement, people will live in chaos in some areas. In conclusion, I claim tahtthat the increasing ofincrease in the number of people who tend to live in cities has several disadvantages, and people who are those in charge have to set rules to control the number of immigrationsimmigrants to cities.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Nowadays a large number of individuals from suburbs are moving to cities in numerous countries. As a result, the number of people who are living in countryside is dwindling. This change has its own pros and cons, however, I believe the negative impacts of this action outweigh the benefits. This essay explains the drawbacks of the increasing immigration to cities.
Nowadays, a large number of individuals from suburban areas are moving to cities in numerous countries. As a result, the population living in the countryside is dwindling. This change has its own pros and cons; however, I believe the negative impacts of this trend outweigh the benefits. This essay will explain the drawbacks of the increasing migration to cities.
To begin with, the first impact of moving to cities affects on developments of rural places. When people move to cities, and the number of residents in suburbs decrease, there will be less demand for developments, and providing more public facilities. As a result, government will not assign budget for developments in these areas, and people who are living over there will experience difficult situations. For instance, when fewer people live in rural area, the new roads will not establish definitely, besides, the old roads will not maintain in most cases. In this situation the communication will become a serious problem for local people.
To begin with, the first impact of moving to cities affects the development of rural areas. When people migrate to urban centers and the number of residents in suburbs decreases, there is less demand for development and public facilities. Consequently, the government may not allocate sufficient budget for improvements in these areas, leaving those who remain to face difficult situations. For instance, when fewer people live in rural areas, new roads may not be established, and existing roads are often not maintained. This situation can lead to significant communication challenges for local residents.
It is widely accepted that this issue has negative impacts on cities. For instance, the rise of population in cities increase the air pollution, traffic, and noise especially in big cities. Therefore, individuals in cities ought to struggle with problems such as living in crowded places, driving in rush hours, and spending a lot of time in traffic. In this circumstance, the dissatisfaction of life will increase drastically.
It is widely accepted that this issue also has negative impacts on cities. For example, the rising population in urban areas contributes to increased air pollution, traffic congestion, and noise, particularly in large cities. As a result, city dwellers must contend with problems such as overcrowding, navigating rush hour traffic, and spending excessive time commuting. Under these circumstances, overall life satisfaction is likely to decrease significantly.
It is obviousely considerable that government ought to overcome new obstacles like providing new public facilities for more number of society in some cities in short time. Although at the firts glance it would be a progress to create new facilities like schools, healthcare services, and hospitals, it would be a challenge for government to manage the crowded cities, and due to the increase in mismanagement, people will live in chaos in some areas.
It is also important to note that the government must address new challenges, such as providing adequate public facilities for the growing population in certain cities within a short timeframe. Although it may initially seem like progress to create new facilities like schools, healthcare services, and hospitals, managing overcrowded cities can prove to be a daunting task. Due to potential mismanagement, residents may find themselves living in chaotic conditions in some areas.
In conclusion, I claim taht the increasing of the number of people who tend to live in cities has several disadvantages, and people who are in charge have to set rules to control the number of immigrations to cities.
In conclusion, I assert that the increasing number of people migrating to cities presents several disadvantages. Those in positions of authority must implement regulations to control the influx of migrants to urban areas.
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Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
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Grammar Accuracy
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Grammar Range
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Task Response
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While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the negative impacts of rural-to-urban migration, which aligns with the task requirement to evaluate whether this trend is positive or negative. The writer clearly states their position that the negative impacts outweigh the benefits. However, the essay could be improved by briefly acknowledging any potential benefits of urban migration to provide a more balanced view before concluding that the negatives are more significant.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and there is a logical progression of ideas. However, the transitions between some ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the impact on rural areas to the impact on urban areas could be more explicit. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at using less common words and phrases, such as "dwindling," "assign budget," and "mismanagement." However, there are some errors in word choice and usage, such as "suburbs" instead of "rural areas" and "establish" instead of "constructed." The writer should aim to use more precise vocabulary and ensure that word choices are contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay contains a variety of sentence structures, which is positive. However, there are several grammatical errors that detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. These include subject-verb agreement issues ("the rise of population in cities increase"), incorrect prepositions ("affects on developments"), and spelling errors ("obviousely," "taht," "firts"). The writer should focus on proofreading to correct these errors and improve the overall grammatical accuracy of the essay.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Task Achievement: Consider acknowledging potential benefits of urban migration to provide a more balanced analysis before concluding that the negatives are more significant.

  2. Coherence and Cohesion: Improve transitions between paragraphs and ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

  3. Lexical Resource: Use more precise vocabulary and ensure word choices are contextually appropriate. Avoid repetition and aim for variety in word choice.

  4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, prepositions, and spelling mistakes. Aim for greater accuracy in sentence construction.

By addressing these areas, the essay can be improved to better meet the IELTS writing criteria.