Question: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population i...

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Nowadays a large number of individuals from suburbs are moving to cities in numerous countries. As a result, the number of people who are living in countrysides is dwindleingdwindling. This chanegchange has its own pros and cons,; however, I believe the negative impacts of this action outweightoutweigh the benefits. This essay explainexplains the drawbacks of the increasing immigration to cities. To begin with, the first impact of moving to cities affects on undevelopmentsthe underdevelopment of rural places. When people move to cities, and the number of residents in suburbs decreasedecreases, there will be less demand for developments,development and providing more public facilities. As a result, govermentthe government will not assign a budget for developments in these areas, and people who are living over there will experinceexperience difficult situations. For instance, when fewer people live in rural areaareas, the new roads will not establish definitelybe established, besides,and the old roads will not maintainebe maintained in most cases. In this situation, the communication will become a seriouseserious problem for local people. It is widely accepted that this issue has negative impacts on cities. For instance, the rise of the population in cities increase the aire increases air pollution, traffic, and noise, especially in big cities. ThereforTherefore, individuals in cities ought to struggle with problems such as living in crowded places, driving in rush houreshours, and spending a lot of time in trafficetraffic. In this circumstance, the unsatisfactiondissatisfaction of life will increase drastically. It is obviouselyobviously considerable that the government ought to overcome new obstacklesobstacles like providing new public facilities for morea larger number of society in some cities in a short time. Although at the firts first glance it would be a progress to create new facilities like schools, healthcare services, and hospitals, it would be a challenge for the government to manage the crowded cities, and due to the increase in mismanagementingmismanagement, people will live in chaos in some areas. In conclusion, I claim tahtthat the increasing ofincrease in the number of people who tend to live in cities has several disadvantages, and people who are in charge have to set rules to control the number of immigrationsimmigrants to cities.
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Overall Band Score
5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
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Grammar Accuracy
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Grammar Range
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While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Achievement

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the negative impacts of rural-to-urban migration, which aligns with the task requirement to evaluate whether this trend is positive or negative. The writer clearly states their position, arguing that the negative impacts outweigh the benefits. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion by briefly acknowledging potential positive aspects of urban migration before focusing on the negatives. This would demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, contributing to the overall argument. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the essay could use linking words or phrases to better connect the points about rural underdevelopment and urban challenges. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are several spelling and word choice errors that detract from the overall quality. Words like "dwindleing," "chaneg," "outweight," "experince," "seriouse," "obstackles," and "mismanagementing" should be corrected. Additionally, phrases like "the unsatisfaction of life" could be improved to "dissatisfaction with life." More precise and varied vocabulary would enhance the essay's clarity and impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ("the number of people who are living in countrysides is dwindleing"), incorrect verb forms ("maintaine," "establish definitely"), and awkward phrasing ("affects on undevelopments"). These errors can obscure meaning and should be addressed to improve readability. The writer should focus on using correct verb tenses and ensuring subject-verb agreement throughout the essay.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Balance the Argument: Briefly mention potential positive aspects of urban migration to provide a more balanced view before focusing on the negatives.
  2. Enhance Coherence: Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
  3. Expand Lexical Range: Correct spelling errors and use more precise vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively.
  4. Improve Grammatical Accuracy: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence structure to enhance clarity and coherence.

By addressing these areas, the essay would present a more compelling and polished argument.