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Question: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subj...

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A group of pupils in university tend to learn extra subjects besides their main subjects. Some individuals claim that they ought to focus only on their curriculum for a qualification. It has its own benefits and drawbacks. This essay discusses both sides. I strongly agree that studentstudents should study different topics and broaden their knowledge. To begin, a large number of people argue that studentstudents at colleges have one responsibility, and it is to study as hard as they can, and they have to get great scores in their exams. This group explainexplains that if students prefer to get high scores, they would study only the subjects that are thoughttaught in university. They believe in this way students are more capable, and they will become more expert in their field. For instance, a medical student has to pay attention to main subjects at university to become a better doctor and save people's lives, and do not waste time foron other subjects. On the other hand, some individuals argue that studentstudents have to study a variety of topics, and explore new dimensions in the world. For example, it is widely accepted that an architecture student has to have knowledge in art, history, mathematics, and science. In addition, it is not possible to teach all these subjects through university's lessons,; as a result, this student has to has aengage in self-study about related topics in order to be more professional in his/her career. In conclusion, I think studentstudents have to make a priorities about the subjects that they want to study. The university's lessons come first in this way. I believe studying about other related subjects areis essential for college pupils. Not only does it help them to expand their knowledge, but it also helphelps them to get convenient scores and be more skilled in their job.
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A group of pupils in university tend to learn extra subjects besides their main subjects. Some individuals claim that they ought to focus only on their curriculum for a qualification. It has its own benefits and drawbacks. This essay discusses both sides. I strongly agree that student should study different topics and broaden their knowledge.
A group of university students often choose to learn additional subjects alongside their main courses. Some individuals argue that they should focus solely on their curriculum to achieve their qualifications. This approach has its own benefits and drawbacks. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument. I strongly believe that students should study different topics to broaden their knowledge.
To begin, a large number of people argue that student at colleges have one responsibility, and it is to study as hard as they can, and they have to get great scores in their exams. This group explain that if students prefer to get high scores, they would study only the subjects that are thought in university. They believe in this way students are more capable, and they will become more expert in their field. For instance, a medical student has to pay attention to main subjects at university to become a better doctor and save people's lives, and do not waste time for other subjects .
To begin with, many people argue that students in colleges have one primary responsibility: to study diligently and achieve high scores in their exams. This group explains that if students aim for excellent grades, they should concentrate only on the subjects taught at university. They believe that this focus allows students to become more proficient and specialized in their fields. For instance, a medical student must prioritize core subjects at university to become a competent doctor capable of saving lives, rather than wasting time on unrelated topics.
On the other hand, some individuals argue that student have to study variety topics, and explore new dimensions in the world. For example, it is widely accepted that an architecture student has to have knowledge in art, history, mathematics, and science. In addition, it is not possible to teach all these subjects through university's lessons, as a result this student has to has a self-study about related topics in order to be more professional in his/her career.
On the other hand, some individuals contend that students should explore a variety of subjects and discover new dimensions of knowledge. For example, it is widely accepted that an architecture student needs to possess knowledge in art, history, mathematics, and science. Furthermore, it is often impossible to cover all these subjects within the university curriculum. As a result, students must engage in self-study on related topics to enhance their professionalism in their careers.
In conclusion, I think student have to make a priorities about the subjects that they want to study. The university's lessons come first in this way. I believe studying about other related subjects are essential for college pupils. Not only does it help them to expand their knowledge, but it also help them to get convenient scores and be more skilled in their job.
In conclusion, I believe that students should prioritize the subjects they wish to study, with university lessons taking precedence. However, studying related subjects is essential for college students. Not only does it help them expand their knowledge, but it also enables them to achieve better grades and become more skilled in their future careers.
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Overall Band Score
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Overview
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Task Achievement

  • Addressing the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether university students should focus solely on their main subjects or explore additional subjects. It also provides the writer's opinion, which is a requirement of the task.
  • Position: The writer's position is clear, advocating for students to study different topics to broaden their knowledge.
  • Examples and Support: The essay provides examples, such as the medical student focusing on main subjects and the architecture student needing a broad range of knowledge. However, these examples could be more detailed to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point. The introduction sets up the discussion, and the conclusion summarizes the writer's opinion.
  • Cohesion: Transition words and phrases like "To begin," "On the other hand," and "In conclusion" help guide the reader through the argument. However, some sentences could be more smoothly connected to improve the flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The essay uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "curriculum," "expert," "dimensions," and "professional." However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as "student have to" and "subjects."
  • Word Choice: There are minor errors in word choice, such as "student" instead of "students" and "has to has" instead of "has to have." These errors slightly detract from the clarity of the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay includes a variety of sentence structures, but some sentences are awkwardly phrased or contain grammatical errors. For example, "This group explain that if students prefer to get high scores, they would study only the subjects that are thought in university" could be rephrased for clarity.
  • Grammar: There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("student have" instead of "students have") and incorrect verb forms ("has to has" instead of "has to have"). These errors impact the overall readability of the essay.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Expand Examples: Provide more detailed examples to support each point, which will strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
  2. Improve Cohesion: Work on connecting ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.
  3. Correct Grammatical Errors: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb forms to improve grammatical accuracy.
  4. Vary Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and demonstrate lexical resourcefulness.

Overall, the essay presents a clear argument and addresses the task, but it would benefit from more detailed examples, improved cohesion, and greater grammatical accuracy.