Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...
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It is said that these days in a lot of countries, food products are always available for buyers in markets all around the world. What I believe is that this idea is a positive development because it has made life easier and helps the food industry to grow widely. This essay will argue these statements.
Firstly, one of the positive points is considered to be living easily and freely. As can be seen, people do not need to search for food anymore because it is provided in the quantity they want in different shops. In other words, although initially individuals had to go to long distancedistances to provide something to eat, now consumers can focus on other aspects of life and hunger is not a significant issue. For example, various groups of people had to replace their location relocatebecause of the lack of food, but now there are a number of supermarkets inon one street and no one havehas to do those hard tasks.
On the other hand, the growth of the food industry has merits like more job opportunities. What should be mentionmentioned is that people are working in many fields connected to this market these days and new careers are developing in this field every day. For example, they harvest plants, collect the raw materials, do the packaging in factories, transport them to other places, and atin the end sell the products.
In summary, having access to food products in markets all over the world makes life easier for consumers and this action helps this industry to progress and in my opinion, these developments are considered to be positive.
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Task Achievement
Strengths: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the convenience for consumers and the growth of the food industry as positive aspects of global food availability in supermarkets.
Areas for Improvement: While the essay presents a clear position, it could benefit from a more balanced discussion by briefly acknowledging potential negative aspects of this development, such as environmental impacts or loss of local food cultures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengths: The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of linking words like "Firstly" and "On the other hand" helps guide the reader through the argument.
Areas for Improvement: The transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the essay could use more cohesive devices to connect the points about consumer convenience and industry growth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more robust by summarizing the main points more explicitly.
Lexical Resource
Strengths: The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as "supermarkets," "food industry," "job opportunities," and "packaging."
Areas for Improvement: There are some repetitive phrases, such as "positive development" and "makes life easier." Try to use synonyms or rephrase to enhance lexical variety. Additionally, some phrases could be more precise, such as "living easily and freely," which could be clarified.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Strengths: The essay demonstrates a good command of basic sentence structures and verb tenses.
Areas for Improvement: There are a few grammatical errors, such as "no one have to do those hard tasks" (should be "no one has to do those hard tasks"). Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. Additionally, some sentences could be more concise to improve clarity.
Overall Suggestions
Consider addressing potential drawbacks of global food availability to provide a more balanced view.
Enhance cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases.
Expand lexical range by avoiding repetition and using more precise language.
Review grammatical structures to ensure accuracy and clarity.