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Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...

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These days, because of change in humankind’s way of living, the Earth is facing with some serious environmental problems. While some believe that the main environmental problem is the loss of particular species of plants and animals, I, however, agree with those who feel that there are more important environmental problems. On the one hand, the loss of particular species of plants and animals is said to be the main environmental problem of our time. Firstly, it could be argued that this may affect ecosystems. For example, the process of water purification that directly connected to some marine creatures would be disturbed. Similarly, our climate regulation that follows by a specific plant may affected. Moreover, some people believe that medical resources might be affected by the loss of these species, also agriculture diversity would be decreased to a limited number. In other words, a specific type of plant that used to be use in producing a medicine will not be provided. On the other hand, I firmly believe that there are more important environmental problems. Firstly, I would argue that one important issue is resource depletion; overuse of water and soil degradation are two examples. How these problems threaten sustainability and human survival? The next problem is pollution. Personally, I believe that plastic and water pollutions are one of the far-reaching problems that human faces. Water pollution makes marine creatures poisoned, and this may affect food chain. Consequently, this process causes damages in our health. Finally, and the most importantly is climate change. It directly affects all aspects of life and the Earth. For example, crops shortage, extreme weathers, and rising sea levels are the most impacts of climate change. All of this being said, although the loss of particular plants and animals may affect ecosystems, there are much more important problems that should be considered. Therefore, on balance, I believe that climate change is the issue we should think about it.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
These days, because of change in humankind’s way of living, the Earth is facing with some serious environmental problems. While some believe that the main environmental problem is the loss of particular species of plants and animals, I, however, agree with those who feel that there are more important environmental problems. On the one hand, the loss of particular species of plants and animals is said to be the main environmental problem of our time. Firstly, it could be argued that this may affect ecosystems. For example, the process of water purification that directly connected to some marine creatures would be disturbed. Similarly, our climate regulation that follows by a specific plant may affected. Moreover, some people believe that medical resources might be affected by the loss of these species, also agriculture diversity would be decreased to a limited number. In other words, a specific type of plant that used to be use in producing a medicine will not be provided. On the other hand, I firmly believe that there are more important environmental problems. Firstly, I would argue that one important issue is resource depletion; overuse of water and soil degradation are two examples. How these problems threaten sustainability and human survival? The next problem is pollution. Personally, I believe that plastic and water pollutions are one of the far-reaching problems that human faces. Water pollution makes marine creatures poisoned, and this may affect food chain. Consequently, this process causes damages in our health. Finally, and the most importantly is climate change. It directly affects all aspects of life and the Earth. For example, crops shortage, extreme weathers, and rising sea levels are the most impacts of climate change. All of this being said, although the loss of particular plants and animals may affect ecosystems, there are much more important problems that should be considered. Therefore, on balance, I believe that climate change is the issue we should think about it.
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