This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Many school aged individuals prefer to learn diverse skills, although others hold the opinion that they ought to solely focuse on studying for a qualification. From my perspective, they would better only pay attention to their lessons in school.
Many school-aged individuals prefer to learn diverse skills, while others believe that they should focus solely on studying for a qualification. From my perspective, students would benefit more by concentrating on their lessons in school.
On the one hand, learning additional skills offers multitude of benefits. Not only does it contribute to enhancing our mental power, but it also increases our self-confidence. For instance, according to a survey conducted by prominent researchers at the Oxford University, the more people are engaged with artistic subjects, the better they can performe in their scientific major. This is a universally aknowledged truth that working in various artistic fields leads to creativity and initiative which build students' self-confidence.
On the one hand, learning additional skills offers a multitude of benefits. Not only does it enhance our cognitive abilities, but it also boosts our self-confidence. For instance, a survey conducted by prominent researchers at Oxford University found that individuals engaged in artistic subjects tend to perform better in their scientific majors. It is a widely acknowledged truth that working in various artistic fields fosters creativity and initiative, which in turn builds students' self-confidence.
On the other hand, concentrated individuals in their expertise will become invaluable spacialists. Indeed, underestimating the importance of these experts in the society is illogical because they can cause scientific advancements. As an illustration we can take the Internet into account which revolutionized our lives in many aspects. For example, due to this technological revolution, people have this opportunity to intract with others regardless of their location, particularly in scientific courses it can be veritably useful. To clarify, the old friend of mine attended a Python course under the supervision of a knowledgeable professor at the MIT University, while he is living in Iran and he became a priceless teacher in this field, last year. Therefore, if students concentrate on studying and learning science, society will take the advantages.
On the other hand, individuals who concentrate on their area of expertise become invaluable specialists. Underestimating the importance of these experts in society is illogical, as they drive scientific advancements. For example, the Internet has revolutionized our lives in many ways. This technological revolution allows people to interact with others regardless of their location, which can be particularly beneficial in scientific courses. To illustrate, a friend of mine attended a Python course under the supervision of a knowledgeable professor at MIT while living in Iran, and he became a highly regarded teacher in this field last year. Therefore, if students focus on studying and mastering scientific subjects, society will reap the benefits.
In conclusion, even though learning numerous skills like painting and playing musical instruments may improve students' abilities, I firmly believe that the society enhancement is more imprative. In other words, students should strive to find solutions for wide-ranging issues.
In conclusion, although learning various skills such as painting and playing musical instruments can enhance students' abilities, I firmly believe that societal advancement is of greater importance. In other words, students should strive to find solutions to a wide range of issues.