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Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
It is argued that people are able to buy food whichthat is not produced in their countries. In my view, this development brings several positive effects, including people havehaving the chance to consume healthy food and improve their knowledge about the culture of countries. What makes buying food a positive development is that people are able to access several healthy food which isfoods that are not produced in their countries. In other words, although food consists of several healthy elements, such as vitamins, people can consume limited types of food in their countries due to some barriers such as weather conditions. By way of example, Sushisushi is known to be a type of food that is high in beneficial proteins which play a vital role in physical health. Now, Iranian consumers enable are enabled to consume this type of food in Iran since people can find food from around the world in Iranian supermarkets. Therefore, the spreadingspread of food around the world provides the opportunity tofor people to consume several healthy foodfoods, resulting in them being able to be healthy longer. Moreover, food is able to can reflect cultural traits. This is because types of food highly depend on the culture cultural differences. These differences give consumers chances to broaden their knowledge about culturethe cultural differences of countries. For instance, HindiIndian food is known to be spicy since it includes red pepper, and todaystoday, Iranian consumers tend to learn about the culture of India since this food can be found as easily as Iranian onefood in Iran. Hence, by consuming international food, people have the chance to improve their knowledge about the culture of countries. In conclusion, I find this development totally positive since people not only have chancesthe chance to buy various healthy food whichfoods that cannot producebe produced in their countries but also have chancesthe chance to enhance their knowledge about the culture of countries.
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It is argued that people are able to buy food which is not produced in their countries. In my view, this development brings several positive effects, including people have the chance to consume healthy food and improve their knowledge about the culture of countries.
It is argued that people are able to buy food that is not produced in their own countries. In my view, this development brings several positive effects, including the opportunity for individuals to consume healthy food and to enhance their understanding of the cultures of different nations.
What makes buying food a positive development is that people are able to access several healthy food which is not produced in their countries. In other words, although food consists of several healthy elements, such as vitamins, people can consume limited types of food in their countries due to some barriers such as weather conditions. By way of example, Sushi is known to be a type of food is high in beneficial proteins which play vital role in physical health. Now, Iranian consumers enable to consume this type of food in Iran since people can find food around the world in Iranian supermarkets. Therefore, the spreading of food around the world provides the opportunity to people to consume several healthy food, resulting in them being able to be healthy longer.
One of the key benefits of purchasing food from abroad is that it allows people to access a variety of healthy options that may not be produced locally. In other words, while many foods contain essential nutrients such as vitamins, individuals may be limited in their choices due to factors like climate and agricultural conditions. For example, sushi is renowned for being rich in beneficial proteins that play a vital role in physical health. Today, Iranian consumers can enjoy this type of cuisine, as international foods are readily available in supermarkets across Iran. Therefore, the globalization of food provides people with the opportunity to consume a diverse range of healthy options, ultimately contributing to improved health and well-being.
Moreover, food is able to reflect cultural traits. This is because types of food highly depend on the culture differences. These differences give consumers chances to broaden their knowledge about culture differences of countries. For instance, Hindi food is known to be spicy since it includes red pepper, and todays, Iranian consumers tend to learn about the culture of India since this food can be found as easily as Iranian one in Iran. Hence, by consuming international food, people have the chance to improve their knowledge about the culture of countries.
Moreover, food serves as a reflection of cultural identity. Different types of cuisine are deeply rooted in cultural traditions and practices, which allows consumers to broaden their understanding of cultural diversity. For instance, Indian cuisine is known for its spiciness, largely due to the use of red pepper. Nowadays, Iranian consumers are increasingly interested in learning about Indian culture, as this cuisine is now as accessible as traditional Iranian dishes. Consequently, by exploring international foods, individuals have the chance to deepen their knowledge of various cultures.
In conclusion, I find this development totally positive since people not only have chances to buy various healthy food which cannot produce in their countries but also have chances to enhance their knowledge about the culture of countries.
In conclusion, I believe that this development is overwhelmingly positive, as it not only provides people with the opportunity to purchase a wide array of healthy foods that may not be produced in their own countries but also enhances their understanding of different cultures.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the positive aspects of being able to buy food from around the world. It clearly states the writer's opinion that this is a positive development.
  • Ideas and Examples: The essay provides relevant examples, such as the availability of sushi in Iran and the cultural insights gained from Indian food, to support the main points. However, the examples could be more detailed to strengthen the argument further.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, contributing to the overall coherence.
  • Cohesive Devices: The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, but there are some areas where transitions could be smoother. For example, the transition between discussing health benefits and cultural knowledge could be more fluid.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, such as "beneficial proteins," "cultural traits," and "broaden their knowledge." However, there are some awkward phrases, such as "people are able to access several healthy food," which could be improved for clarity.
  • Word Choice: Some word choices are slightly off, such as "enable to consume" instead of "are able to consume." Paying attention to these minor errors can enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the readability. However, there are some grammatical errors, such as "Sushi is known to be a type of food is high in beneficial proteins," which should be corrected to "Sushi is known to be a type of food that is high in beneficial proteins."
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are minor grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as missing articles and incorrect verb forms. For example, "several healthy food" should be "several types of healthy food."

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Expand Examples: Provide more detailed examples to support your points, which will make your argument more convincing.
  2. Improve Transitions: Work on smoother transitions between ideas to enhance the flow of the essay.
  3. Refine Language: Pay attention to word choice and grammatical accuracy to improve clarity and precision.
  4. Proofreading: Carefully proofread your essay to catch minor errors in grammar and punctuation.

Overall, the essay presents a clear and positive view of the development discussed in the prompt, with room for improvement in language precision and example expansion.