This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In the increasingly digitalized world, school-aged people spend long hours on utilizing their cold hard digital devices. From my perspective, this is because they are streamlined with the World Wide Web which is unlimited and I consider it as a positive development.
In the increasingly digitalized world, school-aged children spend long hours using their digital devices. From my perspective, this is largely due to their constant connection to the World Wide Web, which offers limitless opportunities, and I consider this a positive development.
On the one hand, tampering with the cellphones may negatively affect children's health. To clarify, they usually spend a vast amount of their spare time playing online games. Not only does it endanger their physical well-being, but it also can pose a threat to their mental health. Indeed, the more they gaze into their smartphones, the more they may suffer from poor eye-sight and spinal-related matters. Moreover, since during playing online games they should assisst characters by killing and stabing, they will encounter with some problems like anxiety, stress and depression. This is because they cannot distinguish between real world and visual world.
On the one hand, excessive use of cellphones can negatively affect children's health. To clarify, they often spend a significant amount of their free time playing online games. Not only does this endanger their physical well-being, but it can also pose a threat to their mental health. Indeed, the more they gaze at their smartphones, the more they may suffer from poor eyesight and spinal-related issues. Moreover, while playing online games, they often engage in violent actions, such as killing and stabbing characters, which can lead to problems like anxiety, stress, and depression. This is because they may struggle to distinguish between the real world and the virtual world.
On the other hand, enganging with online games comes with multitude benefits. For instance, it leads to eye, brain and hand coordination because while children are playing, there are various commands that must be transmitted from brain to other organs of the body. Furthermore, a wide variety of applications related to education are installed on school aged children's smartphones. As a result of technological revolution individuals have easy access to a wide range of information, and they can benefit frome numerous online courses regardless of their location. As an illustration, my old friend took part in a Python course under the supervision of a knowledgeable professor in Oxford university last year, while he was living in Iran.
On the other hand, engaging with online games comes with a multitude of benefits. For instance, it can enhance eye, brain, and hand coordination, as children must transmit various commands from their brains to different parts of their bodies while playing. Furthermore, a wide variety of educational applications are available on school-aged children's smartphones. As a result of the technological revolution, individuals have easy access to a vast range of information, and they can benefit from numerous online courses regardless of their location. For example, my old friend participated in a Python course under the supervision of a knowledgeable professor at Oxford University last year while living in Iran.
In conclusion, even though if children do not utilize thier smart gadgets like cellphones properly, they might threaten their physical and psycological well-being, I firmly believe that they improve coordinating individuals' eye, brain and hand. Nevertheless, they are able to enhance their knowledge using their smart gadgets. Therefore the pros outweigh the cons.
In conclusion, although children may threaten their physical and psychological well-being if they do not use their smart gadgets properly, I firmly believe that these devices can improve coordination between the eye, brain, and hand. Additionally, they can enhance knowledge acquisition. Therefore, I contend that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.