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Question: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory j...

Marking Generated by Free AI Models

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certain people ofin society think that dealing with an undesired occasionsituation is withinin their best interest, Forfor instance an unacceptable profession or lack of capital. Rest of them debate Others argue that it is better to endeavorendeavour and develop similarimprove such situations. In my opinion, although sometimes it is almost impossible to change the current situation, human instinct is always trying to make progress and move towards their goals and objectives. hence Hence, iI believe that one must leave their comfort zone and take riskrisks to achieve their purposes. inIn the paragraphs below, i I am going to elaborate more on my view. oneOne convincing explanation in favorfavour of remaining in the current occupation is the lack of capital and shortage of willpower to take risks inamong most of the workers and employers of companies and factories. Establishing a new job needs bigrequires a large amount of funds, and this is not feasible for most of the laborlabour force; that's why a large percentage of workers cannot set up their own businessbusinesses and are forced to be an employee employees. In addition, after a certain age, taking a risk becomes very demanding and challenging. As people grow older, they are facingface a lack of energy and enthusiasm. Therefore, it is suitable to being onremain in their stable situation. On the other hand, human nature is against standing still. They must leave their comfort zone and fulfil their ambitions. Although sometimes it is a demanding action, to make progress there is no other choice except taking risks and thinkthinking outside the box. Furthermore, providing family members with sufficient facilities, welfare, proper housing, and a promising future needsrequires a high -income profession that can only be achieved by persevearenceperseverance and economicaleconomic ventures. In conclusion, people who are pursing thirpursuing their objectives are appreciableadmirable and should be rspected ,respected, regardless of whether they are working for themselves or for an organization organisation. In a word, human time is restrictedlimited and should not be allocated to fulfil otherfulfilling others's ambitions; and people must go after their  own  dreams.
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Overall Band Score
5.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, which aligns with the prompt. However, the response could be more balanced in discussing the opposing view before presenting the writer’s stance. Some arguments lack depth—for example, the discussion on why people might accept a bad situation could be expanded with more concrete examples or reasoning. The conclusion is clear but somewhat abrupt.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas are weak. For instance, the shift from discussing why people stay in unsatisfactory jobs to arguing for taking risks feels abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for better readability. The use of cohesive devices (e.g., "On the other hand," "In conclusion") is present but could be more varied and natural.

Lexical Resource

There is a mix of appropriate vocabulary (e.g., "endeavor," "perseverance," "economic ventures"), but some word choices are awkward or incorrect (e.g., "undesired occasion" instead of "undesirable situation," "persevearence" instead of "perseverance"). Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "take risks" is used multiple times without variation). More precise and sophisticated vocabulary would improve the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors, including:

  • Incorrect verb forms ("human instinct is always trying" → "human instinct always tries")
  • Missing articles ("leave comfort zone" → "leave the comfort zone")
  • Awkward phrasing ("people who are pursing thir objectives" → "people pursuing their objectives")
  • Punctuation issues (e.g., missing commas, inconsistent capitalization)

While complex sentences are attempted, some are unclear due to grammatical mistakes. Proofreading for subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions would help.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Balance the Discussion – Spend more time explaining why some people prefer accepting bad situations before arguing against it.
  2. Improve Transitions – Use more cohesive devices to smoothly connect ideas (e.g., "Despite this," "Conversely").
  3. Expand Examples – Provide real-life scenarios or studies to strengthen arguments.
  4. Proofread for Grammar – Review verb forms, articles, and punctuation to enhance clarity.
  5. Vary Vocabulary – Replace repetitive phrases with synonyms (e.g., "take risks" → "embark on ventures," "assume financial risks").

Overall, the essay presents a clear opinion but would benefit from more balanced arguments, refined grammar, and stronger cohesion.