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Task Achievement

• The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks in professional and personal lives. However, the response could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly answers whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
• The examples provided, such as the Nike company and immigration, are relevant but could be more detailed to strengthen the argument.
• The conclusion attempts to summarize the main points but lacks clarity and coherence. It should more explicitly state the writer's position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion

• The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the transition from discussing professional risks to personal risks is abrupt.
• The use of linking words and phrases (e.g., "On the one hand," "On the other hand") is appropriate, but more cohesive devices could be used to enhance the flow of ideas.
• The conclusion should more clearly restate the main points and the writer's stance.

Lexical Resource

• The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are several instances of incorrect word usage (e.g., "imact" instead of "impact," "outweight" instead of "outweigh").
• Some phrases are awkward or unclear, such as "grab your goal" and "come out of your comfortable zone." Consider using more precise and idiomatic expressions.
• There are spelling errors (e.g., "cousine" instead of "cousin," "satistied" instead of "satisfied") that should be corrected.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

• The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., "we may able to achive" should be "we may be able to achieve") and incorrect verb forms (e.g., "has been immigrate" should be "has immigrated").
• Sentence structures are often awkward and lack complexity. Consider varying sentence lengths and structures to improve readability.
• Punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect use of periods, are present and should be addressed.

Suggestions for Improvement

• Develop a clear thesis statement in the introduction that directly answers the prompt.
• Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments.
• Improve the coherence of the essay by using more cohesive devices and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas.
• Expand your lexical range by using more precise and varied vocabulary.
• Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability.
• Proofread the essay to correct spelling and punctuation errors.