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Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...

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Nowadays, Inin many parts of the world, a variety of international food companies introduce unlimited choices of food to consumers. In my opinion, availibility toavailability of different food would have a couple of potential advantegesadvantages for both consumers and the economy of the countries. Importing food from other nations could have economic prosperity as it enhanceenhances the trade industry. It is to say, food obtainedconstitutes one of the largest sectorsectors in the trade industry and enterprenuersentrepreneurs are entusiasticallyenthusiastically investing in this sector. This investment, could flourish the economiceconomy of the country as it can raise the income, investing by tradesmen, and the governments could exploit this opportunity by coaperatingcooperating with these companies to enhance the economiceconomy. For instance, wallmartWalmart, is one of the biggest chain markets in the worlsworld, offersoffering a variety of food which attracts more costumerscustomers, eventually raiseraising huge profits for fondersfounders. Furthermore, introducing a wide range of products provide an provides unlimited choices for purchasers. Having different kindkinds of foods gives the opportunity to try new things from different countries, and also it could help to introduce the culture of a nation to other parts of the world. People could familiarizefamiliarise themselves with different cuisines and dishes prepared in factories from other parts of the world, having new experiences and becoming familiar with traditional food of other cultures. For example, sushi, originated in Japan, once was so unfamiliar forto other people in the world, now havehas been introduced by different companies to anotherother regions, , consequently it havehas made the Japan and its culture become more familiar forto other people. In conclusion, the popularity of international food and the expansion of this industry is inevitable worldwide, and as more and more people have become interested to tryin trying new dishes, it ultimately resultresults in several benefitbenefits for countriscountries.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Nowadays, In many parts of the world, a variety of international food companies introduce unlimited choices of food to consumers. In my opinion, availibility to different food would have a couple of potential advanteges for both consumers and the economy of the countries. Importing food from other nations could have economic prosperity as it enhance the trade industry. It is to say, food obtained one of the largest sector in the trade industry and enterprenuers are entusiastically investing in this sector. This investment, could flourish the economic of the country as it can raise the income, investing by tradesmen, and the governments could exploit this opportunity by coaperating with these companies to enhance the economic. For instance, wallmart, is one of the biggest chain markets in the worls, offers a variety of food which attracts more costumers,eventually raise huge profits for fonders. Furthermore, introducing a wide range of products provide an unlimited choices for purchasers. Having different kind of foods gives the opportunity to try new things from different countries, and also it could help to introduce the culture of a nation to other parts of the world. People could familiarize with different cuisines and dishes prepared in factories from other parts of the world, having new experiences and familiar with traditional food of other cultures. For example , sushi, originated in Japan, once was so unfamiliar for other people in the world, now have been introduced by different companies to another regions ,consequently it have made the Japan and its culture become more familiar for other people. In conclusion, the popularity of international food and the expansion of this industry is inevitable worldwide, and as more and more people have become interested to try new dishes, it ultimately result in several benefit for countris.
Here is a corrected and optimized version of your essay: --- Nowadays, in many parts of the world, a variety of international food companies are introducing an unlimited array of food choices to consumers. In my opinion, the availability of diverse food options presents several potential advantages for both consumers and the economies of countries. Importing food from other nations can lead to economic prosperity as it enhances the trade industry. Food constitutes one of the largest sectors in international trade, and entrepreneurs are enthusiastically investing in this area. Such investments can stimulate the economy by increasing income and encouraging trade. Governments can also capitalize on this opportunity by collaborating with these companies to further boost economic growth. For instance, Walmart, one of the largest retail chains in the world, offers a wide variety of food products that attract more customers, ultimately generating substantial profits for its founders. Furthermore, introducing a wide range of products provides consumers with unlimited choices. Access to different types of food allows individuals to explore new culinary experiences from various countries, while also helping to introduce the culture of a nation to other parts of the world. People can become familiar with diverse cuisines and dishes produced in factories from different regions, gaining new experiences and insights into the traditional foods of other cultures. For example, sushi, which originated in Japan, was once unfamiliar to many people worldwide. However, it has now been popularized by various companies in other regions, making Japanese culture more accessible and familiar to a broader audience. In conclusion, the popularity of international food and the expansion of this industry are inevitable on a global scale. As more and more people become interested in trying new dishes, it ultimately results in several benefits for countries. --- This revised version corrects grammatical errors, improves clarity, and enhances the overall flow of the essay, making it more suitable for a high-scoring proficiency test response.
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Overall Band Score
5.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the economic and cultural benefits of having access to international food in supermarkets. However, it could be improved by explicitly stating whether the development is positive or negative in the introduction and conclusion.
  • Examples and Support: The essay provides relevant examples, such as Walmart and sushi, to support the points made. However, the examples could be more detailed to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Structure and Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. However, the introduction could be more concise, and the conclusion could better summarize the main points discussed.
  • Linking Words and Phrases: The use of linking words and phrases is generally effective, but there are some areas where transitions could be smoother. For example, the transition between discussing economic benefits and cultural benefits could be more seamless.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary Range: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, such as "economic prosperity," "entrepreneurs," and "cuisines." However, there are some spelling errors, such as "availibility" (availability), "advanteges" (advantages), "entusiastically" (enthusiastically), and "coaperating" (cooperating).
  • Word Choice: Some word choices could be improved for clarity and precision. For example, "familiarize with different cuisines" could be rephrased to "become familiar with different cuisines."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but some sentences are awkwardly phrased or contain grammatical errors. For example, "food obtained one of the largest sector in the trade industry" should be rephrased for clarity.
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("it enhance" should be "it enhances") and missing articles ("the economic" should be "the economy"). Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas, should be addressed.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify Position: Clearly state whether you believe the development is positive or negative in both the introduction and conclusion.
  2. Improve Examples: Provide more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
  3. Enhance Transitions: Use more cohesive devices to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
  4. Correct Errors: Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors to improve clarity and accuracy.
  5. Refine Vocabulary: Choose more precise words and phrases to convey your ideas effectively.