Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...
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These days there is a contentious discussion on the subject of preserving endangered species. While the first group argues that the extinction of any flora and fauna has thea huge devastating impact on our planet, the others argue that there are more significant environmental issues that should be considered as our priority. In this essay, I intend to discuss both viewpoints, and in my perspective, the former group’s mindset is more acceptable.
On the one hand, the latter group justifyjustifies the idea that the extinction of specific species is notthe biggest environmental concern in our modern world. They convey that, pollution resultedresulting from urbanisation is considered as the principal environmental complication. Nowadays, by developing industrializationindustrialisation, humans are putting a major strain on the nature. Many repercussions such as acid rain, global warming, and greenhouse gassesgases are driven fromby human activities which are influencing the nature negatively which are more and haveconsiderably have a morenegative consequences on Earth.
Yet, the other group, including myself, believes that the disappearance of plants and animals is the most concerning problem which should be our priority because of two main reasons. At the heart of the matter is the imbalance of the ecosystem obtained fromcaused by extinction. When a particular species is removed from the nature, it makes some alternationalterations to the food chain. As it is considered the prey of other species and other animals in that habitat, rely on them for their survival, this disappearance putputs the other creatures at risk. More importantly, it has an impact on human’s life directly or indirectly. Humans consume many of these species as a source of their food,; therefore, when one ofthem is become becomesextinct, our survival as a part of this chain is onunder threat.
In conclusion, environmental issues nowadays are numerous, and while some people say that the other environmental problems like global warming isare so considerable, I contend that the matter of extinction is the most pressing environmental concern.
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Feedback on the Essay
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
The introduction sets up the discussion well, but the thesis statement could be more concise.
The body paragraphs present arguments for both sides, but the second viewpoint (pollution/urbanization) could be developed further with more specific examples.
The conclusion restates the opinion but could summarize the key points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing.
Some transitions between ideas could be smoother (e.g., "Yet, the other group, including myself" could be more natural).
Repetition of phrases like "environmental problems" and "extinction" could be varied for better flow.
The conclusion is somewhat abrupt; a stronger final sentence would improve cohesion.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary is used (e.g., "devastating impact," "repercussions," "imbalance of the ecosystem").
Some awkward phrasing exists (e.g., "are more considerably have a negative consequences" should be "have considerably more negative consequences").
Minor errors in word choice (e.g., "justify the idea" could be "argue that").
More precise synonyms could enhance clarity (e.g., "alternation" could be "disruption").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Generally good grammatical control, but some errors affect clarity:
"are driven from human activities which are influencing the nature negatively which are more considerably have a negative consequences" (awkward and grammatically incorrect).
"when one of them is become extinct" should be "when one of them becomes extinct."
Some complex sentences are well-structured, but others could be simplified for better readability.
Subject-verb agreement and article usage need attention (e.g., "the huge devastating impact" → "a huge devastating impact").
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify and refine arguments – Provide more concrete examples (e.g., specific species or pollution effects) to strengthen points.
Improve transitions – Use smoother connectors (e.g., "However," "On the contrary") for better flow.
Proofread for grammar – Review sentence structures to avoid awkward phrasing.
Expand conclusion – Summarize key arguments before restating the opinion.
Overall, the essay presents a balanced discussion with a clear stance but would benefit from more precise language and stronger development of supporting points.