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Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...

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These days there is a contentious discussion on the subject of preserving endangered species. While the first group argues that the extinction of any flora and fauna has thea huge devastating impact on our planet, the others argue that there are more significant environmental issues that should be considered as our priority. In this essay, I intend to discuss both viewpoints, and in my perspective, the former group’s mindset is more acceptable. On the one hand, the latter group justifyjustifies the idea that the extinction of specific species is not the biggest environmental concern in our modern world. They convey that, pollution resultedresulting from urbanisation is considered as the principal environmental complication. Nowadays, by developing industrializationindustrialisation, humans are putting a major strain on the nature. Many repercussions such as acid rain, global warming, and greenhouse gassesgases are driven fromby human activities which are influencing the nature negatively which are more and have considerably have a more negative consequences on Earth. Yet, the other group, including myself, believes that the disappearance of plants and animals is the most concerning problem which should be our priority because of two main reasons. At the heart of the matter is the imbalance of the ecosystem obtained fromcaused by extinction. When a particular species is removed from the nature, it makes some alternationalterations to the food chain. As it is considered the prey of other species and other animals in that habitat, rely on them for their survival, this disappearance putputs the other creatures at risk. More importantly, it has an impact on human’s life directly or indirectly. Humans consume many of these species as a source of their food,; therefore, when one of them is become becomes extinct, our survival as a part of this chain is onunder threat. In conclusion, environmental issues nowadays are numerous, and while some people say that the other environmental problems like global warming isare so considerable, I contend that the matter of extinction is the most pressing environmental concern.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
These days there is a contentious discussion on the subject of preserving endangered species. While the first group argues that the extinction of any flora and fauna has the huge devastating impact on our planet, the others argue that there are more significant environmental issues that should be considered as our priority. In this essay, I intend to discuss both viewpoints, and in my perspective, the former group’s mindset is more acceptable.
These days, there is a contentious discussion regarding the preservation of endangered species. While some argue that the extinction of flora and fauna has a devastating impact on our planet, others believe that more significant environmental issues should take priority. In this essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and argue that the former perspective is more compelling.
On the one hand, the latter group justify the idea that extinction of specific species is not the biggest environmental concern in our modern world. They convey that, pollution resulted from urbanisation is considered as the principal environmental complication. Nowadays by developing industrialization, humans are putting a major strain on the nature. Many repercussions such as acid rain, global warming, greenhouse gasses are driven from human activities which are influencing the nature negatively which are more considerably have a negative consequences on Earth.
On the one hand, opponents of species preservation argue that extinction is not the most pressing environmental concern in the modern world. They contend that pollution resulting from urbanization and industrialization poses a greater threat. Human activities, such as industrialization, place immense strain on nature, leading to severe consequences like acid rain, global warming, and greenhouse gas emissions. These issues, they argue, have more far-reaching and immediate negative consequences for the planet.
Yet, the other group, including myself, believes that the disappearance of plants and animals is the most concerning problem which should be our priority because of two main reasons. At the heart of the matter is the imbalance of the ecosystem obtained from extinction. When a particular species is removed from the nature, it makes some alternation to the food chain. As it is considered the prey of other species and other animals in that habitat, rely on them for their survival, this disappearance put the other creatures at risk. More importantly, it has an impact on human’s life directly or indirectly. Humans consume many of these species as a source of their food, therefore, when one of them is become extinct, our survival as a part of this chain is on threat.
On the other hand, proponents of species preservation, including myself, believe that the disappearance of plants and animals is the most critical issue for two main reasons. First, extinction disrupts the delicate balance of ecosystems. When a species vanishes, it alters the food chain, endangering other creatures that depend on it for survival. Second, this loss directly or indirectly affects human life. Many species serve as vital food sources, and their extinction threatens our own survival as part of this interconnected chain.
In conclusion, environmental issues nowadays are numerous and while some people say that the other environmental problems like global warming is so considerable, I contend that the matter of extinction is the most environmental concern.
In conclusion, while environmental challenges are numerous and some prioritize issues like global warming, I maintain that species extinction is the most urgent environmental concern due to its irreversible impact on ecosystems and human well-being.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
strong
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

  • The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
  • The introduction sets up the discussion well, but the thesis statement could be more concise.
  • The body paragraphs present arguments for both sides, but the second viewpoint (pollution/urbanization) could be developed further with more specific examples.
  • The conclusion restates the opinion but could summarize the key points more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing.
  • Some transitions between ideas could be smoother (e.g., "Yet, the other group, including myself" could be more natural).
  • Repetition of phrases like "environmental problems" and "extinction" could be varied for better flow.
  • The conclusion is somewhat abrupt; a stronger final sentence would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource

  • A good range of vocabulary is used (e.g., "devastating impact," "repercussions," "imbalance of the ecosystem").
  • Some awkward phrasing exists (e.g., "are more considerably have a negative consequences" should be "have considerably more negative consequences").
  • Minor errors in word choice (e.g., "justify the idea" could be "argue that").
  • More precise synonyms could enhance clarity (e.g., "alternation" could be "disruption").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Generally good grammatical control, but some errors affect clarity:
    • "are driven from human activities which are influencing the nature negatively which are more considerably have a negative consequences" (awkward and grammatically incorrect).
    • "when one of them is become extinct" should be "when one of them becomes extinct."
  • Some complex sentences are well-structured, but others could be simplified for better readability.
  • Subject-verb agreement and article usage need attention (e.g., "the huge devastating impact" → "a huge devastating impact").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify and refine arguments – Provide more concrete examples (e.g., specific species or pollution effects) to strengthen points.
  2. Improve transitions – Use smoother connectors (e.g., "However," "On the contrary") for better flow.
  3. Proofread for grammar – Review sentence structures to avoid awkward phrasing.
  4. Expand conclusion – Summarize key arguments before restating the opinion.

Overall, the essay presents a balanced discussion with a clear stance but would benefit from more precise language and stronger development of supporting points.