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Question: It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To...

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Some individuals claim that all people, including the youth, should set aside money for their comingfuture years. I completely agree with this viewpoint for someseveral reasons, including preparing for unforeseen challenges. There is no question that, there are a lot of challenges which can occur in individuals' lives, needing considerable sums of money to be overcome. Take transplants as an obvious example; if people encounter organ failures, such as lung, heart, or kidney failure, they should pay a significant amount of money to modern medical centerscentres for surgery. Possessing adequate money for establishingstarting a business is another area of concern. I strongly believe that individuals, especially young people, should save money for their future when they want to launch their own business. Some people argue that youngsters should enjoy their lives and live in the moment, so saving money is not a necessary for them. However, I firmly believe that establishing a business requires a great deal of money, so people should set aside money for someseveral years to can afford this expense. Having a business playplays an important role in people's lives, as it provides them with the opportunity to earn adequate money to meet their needs. Finally, the most significant reason for saving money is preparing for retirement. Unquestionably, a large number of individuals will face this phase of livelife in the coming years when they will no longer be able to work and earn money. Therefore, people should set aside an adequate amount of money for their retirement, providing themselves with the ability to meet their needs. In conclusion, it is my firm belief that individuals, specifically young people, should set aside money for their future. This activity provides them with the opportunity to overcome challenges and establish their own businesses.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Some individuals claim that all people, including the youth, should set aside money for their coming years. I completely agree with this viewpoint for some reasons, including preparing for unforeseen challenges.
Some individuals claim that everyone, including the youth, should set aside money for their future. I completely agree with this viewpoint for several reasons, including the need to prepare for unforeseen challenges.
There is no question that, there are a lot of challenges which can occur in individuals' lives, needing considerable sums of money to be overcome. Take transplants as an obvious example; if people encounter organ failures, such as lung, heart, or kidney failure, they should pay a significant amount of money to modern medical centers for surgery.
There is no question that many challenges can arise in individuals' lives, often requiring considerable sums of money to overcome. For instance, consider the case of organ transplants; if people experience organ failures, such as lung, heart, or kidney failure, they may need to pay a significant amount to modern medical centers for surgery.
Possessing adequate money for establishing business is another area of concern. I strongly believe that individuals, especially young people, should save money for their future when they want to launch their own business. Some people argue that youngsters should enjoy their lives and live in the moment, so saving money is not a necessary for them. However, I firmly believe that establishing a business requires a great deal of money, so people should set aside money for some years to can afford this expense. Having a business play an important role in people's lives, as provides them with the opportunity to earn adequate money to meet their needs.
Having sufficient funds to establish a business is another important consideration. I strongly believe that individuals, especially young people, should save money for their future if they wish to launch their own businesses. Some argue that youngsters should enjoy their lives and live in the moment, suggesting that saving money is unnecessary for them. However, I firmly believe that starting a business requires a substantial investment, and therefore, individuals should set aside money over several years to afford this expense. Owning a business plays a crucial role in people's lives, as it provides them with the opportunity to earn enough money to meet their needs.
Finally, the most significant reason for saving money is preparing for retirement. Unquestionably, a large number of individuals will face this phase of live in the coming years when they no longer be able to work and earn money. Therefore, people should set aside an adequate amount of money for their retirement, providing themselves with the ability to meet their needs.
Finally, one of the most significant reasons for saving money is to prepare for retirement. Unquestionably, many individuals will face this phase of life in the coming years when they will no longer be able to work and earn an income. Therefore, it is essential for people to set aside an adequate amount of money for their retirement, ensuring they can meet their needs during this period.
In conclusion, it is my firm belief that individuals specifically young people should set aside money for their future. This activity provides them with the opportunity to overcome challenges and establish their own businesses.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that individuals, particularly young people, should set aside money for their future. This practice not only equips them to overcome challenges but also enables them to establish their own businesses.
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Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing the importance of saving money for the future, particularly for young people. It provides clear reasons supporting the viewpoint, such as preparing for unforeseen challenges, establishing a business, and preparing for retirement.
  • Position: The writer's position is clear and consistently maintained throughout the essay. The essay strongly agrees with the statement that saving money is important for everyone, including young people.
  • Examples and Explanation: The essay provides relevant examples, such as the need for money in medical emergencies and business establishment, which help to illustrate the points made.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific reason for saving money, contributing to the overall coherence.
  • Cohesive Devices: The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, with phrases like "There is no question that," "Take transplants as an obvious example," and "Finally, the most significant reason" helping to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow between ideas.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like "unforeseen challenges," "transplants," "establishing a business," and "retirement." The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic.
  • Word Choice: Some word choices could be improved for precision and clarity. For example, "live in the moment" could be rephrased to "focus on immediate enjoyment" for better clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the readability. However, there are some grammatical errors that need attention, such as "when they no longer be able to work" which should be "when they are no longer able to work."
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are minor grammatical errors, such as missing articles and incorrect verb forms. For example, "a necessary" should be "a necessity," and "phase of live" should be "phase of life."

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Enhance Cohesion: Improve transitions between ideas to ensure a smoother flow. Consider using more linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs.
  2. Grammar and Punctuation: Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly verb forms and article usage. Proofreading can help catch these errors.
  3. Expand on Ideas: While the essay provides good reasons for saving money, further elaboration on each point could strengthen the argument. For instance, discussing the long-term benefits of saving for retirement in more detail could add depth.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates the importance of saving money for the future, with a clear stance and relevant examples. Addressing the minor grammatical issues and enhancing cohesion will further improve the quality of the writing.