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Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
It is argued that whether advertising is beneficial or people are just ignoring themit. Although, advertizment advertisement is a key to enticeenticing customers, it is turning tointo a cliché that people overlook it. However, I believe the influence of promotion is undeniable, and with some modifications it could become more persuasive. First of all, businesses aim to make their productproducts or serviceservices known among the population bythrough advertisement. Indeed, people need to know about something before buying it. But most importantmore importantly, sellers advertise to outperform theytheir rivals in the market and attract more customers. To elaborate, the more advertising you do, the more salesales you have. A great example that springs to mind is Coca -Cola, that which is the most sold product among baveragesbeverages in the world. Thanks, thanks to the company's massive investment of company on the in promotion. Nonetheless, a preponderance of individuals ignore commercials, due to their redundancy. Potentially, this arises from utilizingusing the same andor similar infrastructuresstructures in all the advertismentsadvertisements. For instance, all of us have seen an advertisment ofadvertisement for a certain cleaning powder ,where that there is whitea muddy white shirt andthat becomes clean after using the powder. On the other hand, commercials could be bothersome, such as whatcingwatching a video on Youtube,YouTube when unexpected advertisings are really interfering advertisements interrupt, and almost everyone wantwants them to finish andso they can continue whatcingwatching their content. In my opinion, without advertising, companies willwould not have a chance to prosper and they would end up with failfailing. However, the advertisings advertisements must alter in order change to become more persuasive and convincing. That is, avoidingthey should avoid traditional methods and structures and addingincorporate some innovation. In conclusion, although advertismentsadvertisements have become common and ineffective in some cases, they are the main key ofto attracting customers. With some beneficial modificationmodifications in the addverting mannersadvertising methods, they would be more eficientefficient.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
It is argued that whether advertising is beneficial or people are just ignoring them. Although, advertizment is a key to entice customers, it is turning to a cliché that people overlook it. However, I believe the influence of promotion is undeniable, and with some modifications it could become more persuasive.
It is debated whether advertising is beneficial or simply ignored by people. Although advertisements are key to attracting customers, they have become so commonplace that many overlook them. However, I believe the influence of advertising is undeniable, and with some improvements, it could become more effective.
First of all, businesses aim to make their product or service known among population by advertisement. Indeed, people need to know something before buying it. But most important, sellers advertise to outperform they rivals in the market and attract more customers. To elaborate, the more advertising you do the more sale you have. A great example that springs to mind is Coca Cola that is the most sold product among baverages in the world. Thanks to the massive investment of company on the promotion.
Firstly, businesses use advertising to make their products or services known to the public. After all, people need to be aware of something before purchasing it. More importantly, companies advertise to outperform their competitors and attract more customers. To elaborate, increased advertising often leads to higher sales. A prime example is Coca-Cola, the world’s best-selling beverage, which owes much of its success to massive promotional investments.
Nonetheless, preponderance of individuals ignore commercials, due to their redundancy. Potentially, this arises from utilizing same and similar infrastructures in all the advertisments. For instance, all of us have seen an advertisment of a certain cleaning powder , that there is white muddy white shirt and becomes clean after using the powder. On the other hand commercials could be bothersome, such as whatcing a video on Youtube, when unexpected advertisings are really interfering and almost everyone want them to finish and continue whatcing their content.
Nevertheless, many people ignore advertisements due to their repetitive nature. This may stem from the overuse of similar formats and clichés. For instance, nearly everyone has seen detergent commercials featuring a dirty white shirt that becomes spotless after using the product. Additionally, ads can be intrusive, such as unexpected YouTube ads that interrupt videos, prompting viewers to skip them as quickly as possible.
In my opinion, without advertising, companies will not have a chance to prosper and they would end up with fail. However, the advertisings must alter in order to become more persuasive and convincing. That is, avoiding traditional methods and structures and adding some innovation.
In my view, without advertising, companies would struggle to succeed and could face failure. However, advertisements must evolve to become more persuasive. This means moving away from traditional methods and incorporating innovation to capture attention.
In conclusion, although advertisments have become common and ineffective in some cases, they are the main key of attracting customers. With some beneficial modification in the addverting manners, they would be more eficient.
In conclusion, while advertisements have become predictable and less effective in some cases, they remain essential for attracting customers. With meaningful improvements in advertising strategies, they can regain their impact.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses both views and presents your opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, the introduction could be clearer in outlining the two perspectives before stating your stance.
  • Some arguments lack depth. For example, the Coca-Cola example is relevant but could be expanded to explain how advertising contributes to its success.
  • The conclusion summarizes the main points but could be more concise and impactful.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas are abrupt. For instance, the shift from discussing advertising’s effectiveness to people ignoring ads could be smoother.
  • Some sentences are overly long or awkwardly phrased, affecting readability (e.g., "But most important, sellers advertise to outperform they rivals in the market and attract more customers.").
  • Repetition of words like "advertising" and "advertisements" could be reduced by using synonyms (e.g., "marketing," "promotions").

Lexical Resource

  • There are several spelling errors (advertizment, whatcing, eficient) and incorrect word choices (preponderance of individuals is unnatural; "most people" would be better).
  • Some phrases are awkward ("Thanks to the massive investment of company on the promotion" → "Thanks to the company’s massive investment in promotion").
  • Vocabulary is somewhat repetitive; try using more varied expressions (e.g., instead of "common," consider "ubiquitous" or "overused").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are frequent grammatical errors:
    • Subject-verb agreement ("businesses aim... they rivals" → "their rivals").
    • Article misuse ("the promotion" → "promotion").
    • Incorrect word forms ("whatcing" → "watching," "eficient" → "efficient").
  • Sentence structure issues: Some sentences are fragmented or overly complex. For example:
    • "Potentially, this arises from utilizing same and similar infrastructures in all the advertisments." (Unclear phrasing; better: "This may be due to the repetitive use of similar advertising techniques.")

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify your introduction – Clearly state both views before presenting your opinion.
  2. Expand explanations – Provide more detailed examples and analysis (e.g., how Coca-Cola’s ads work).
  3. Improve transitions – Use linking words (However, On the contrary, Consequently) to connect ideas smoothly.
  4. Proofread for errors – Check spelling, grammar, and word choice carefully.
  5. Vary vocabulary – Use synonyms and more precise terms to avoid repetition.

Overall, your essay has a good structure and addresses the prompt, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and coherence will strengthen it significantly. Keep practicing!