Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...
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it is believed that the most crucial environmental problem in today's world is the extinction of important species. others believe there are much more important obstacles to tend to. the second group areis emphasizing on general treatsthreats to the planet. in contrast, the first group believebelieves that preserving each speciespecies is a small gesture with great benefits. although both points of viewsview seem eligiblevalid, my opinion alignaligns more with secondsthe second view.on the one hand, it is believed that our planet is suffering from major issues that require immediate actionsaction and the lives of individual creatures might be unimportant comparecompared to them. human destructive behavior has damaged the environment noticeably and it will bring us to a point that makes uswhere we are unable to repair it. for instance, cutting down trees ofin tropical jungles inon a large scale and the significant increase in carbon dioxide emissions hadhave resulted in global warming and climate changeschange.on the other hand, some people think that to preserve nature, small steps should be taken and saving a few particular endangered animalanimals or planetplants is a much easier and more intellectual move. there are some key creatures in any habitat that losing them whose losswill hurt its foundation. all species are living livein food chains and the loss of a lowlower member will disturb others. moreover, some animals and plants are providing providea suitable atmosphere to live in bythrough their actions and have domino effects on others' lives. for example, one of them areis beavers, that which by making dams on rivers, slow the water flewflow and let other animalanimals drink the water much easiermore easily and make their nests and homes around the water.in conclusion, necessary measures must be taken in matter of regardinglarge global problems and it isn't wise to just attend to savefocus on saving pre-extinction species. however, I believe some animals are extremely important and should be considered as key members of the planet. therefore, we shouldn't lose focus on them just to just look at the big picture.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both views and presents your own opinion, which meets the task requirements. However, the introduction could be clearer in outlining the two perspectives.
Some arguments are well-developed (e.g., deforestation and global warming, the role of keystone species like beavers), but others could be more detailed.
The conclusion summarizes your stance but could be more concise and directly tied to the arguments presented.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Phrases like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" help, but some sentences feel abrupt.
Repetition of "for example" weakens cohesion—vary your linking words (e.g., "such as," "for instance," "as an illustration").
The conclusion could better synthesize the discussion rather than introducing a new idea ("key members of the planet").
Lexical Resource
There are some spelling and word choice errors:
"obstacles to tend to" → "issues to address"
"general treats" → "general threats"
"pre-extinction species" → "endangered species"
Some phrasing is awkward or unclear:
"my opinion align more with seconds view" → "my opinion aligns more with the second view"
"human destructive behavior damaged environment noticeably" → "Human destructive behavior has significantly damaged the environment"
Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "keystone species" instead of "key creatures").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Several grammatical errors affect clarity:
Subject-verb agreement: "others believe there much more important obstacles" → "others believe there are much more important obstacles"
Article misuse: "the first group believe" → "the first group believes"