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Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

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Some people believe that the advertising sector is significantly successful at persuading us to purchase products while others mentionedmention that this waymethod is so regularcommon that there isit has no influence aton us. I personally agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some individuals believe that advertising is a traditional and out of date outdated method for makemaking people to buy products. This minorsmall group haveholds the opinion that adult people adults can make reasonable decisions and list their needed thingsitems and justonly spend money on them. Moreover, they believe that allmost people knoware aware of the advertisementadvertising sector and theirits tactics for manipulating people to purchaseinto purchasing products that they do not need. TheyAdvertisers have their special tricktricks to forcepersuade people to buy. For example, when you see banners all around the city aboutpromoting a new product, you cannot avoid not to buy buying it, and this need a resisting requires strong attemptwillpower. On the other hand, a major group majority of people believe that advertising method still has theiran influence on people, an opinion with which I strongly agree with this opinion. These individuals know that advertisements with their tricks aiming target our subconscious, pronoun and we cannot defend against them. For instance, when you go to a clothing shop to buy an item which you need, meanwhile, you may also see discounted items and they that are so temptation and tempting you are unable to cannot resist. In otheranother situation, if you have parents’ roleare a parent, it couldyou might be possible that you are very strong-willed, but your children are not—they are easily influenced by advertisements, and your children arebecome your weakness. In conclusion, while some minora small group of people have the opinion believe that we are not getno longer influenced by advertisements, any more but in my perspectiveview, most people are unable to resist not to buy useless buying unnecessary products due to their subconscious pronoun or their children.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Some people believe that advertising sector is significantly successful at persuading us to purchase products while others mentioned that this way is so regular that there is no influence at us. I personally agree with former opinion.
Some people believe the advertising sector is highly successful at persuading us to purchase products, while others argue that it is so commonplace that it no longer influences us. I personally agree with the former opinion.
On the one hand, some individuals believe that advertising is a traditional and out of date method for make people to buy products. This minor group have the opinion that adult people can make reasonable decisions and list their needed things and just spend money on them. Moreover, they believe that all people know the advertisement sector and their tactics for manipulating people to purchase products that they do not need. They have their special trick to force people to buy. For example, when you see banners all around the city about a new product you cannot avoid not to buy it and this need a strong attempt.
On the one hand, some individuals believe advertising is an outdated method for convincing people to buy products. This minority argues that adults can make rational decisions, listing only what they need and spending money accordingly. Moreover, they claim that people are aware of advertising tactics designed to manipulate them into purchasing unnecessary items. For example, when bombarded with banners promoting a new product across the city, resisting the urge to buy requires considerable willpower.
On the other hand, a major group of people believe that advertising method still has their influence on people which I strongly agree with this opinion. These individuals know that advertisements with their tricks aiming our subconscious pronoun and we cannot defend. For instance, when you go to a clothing shop to buy an item which you need, meanwhile, you see discounted items and they are so temptation and you are unable to resist. In other situation, you have parents’ role, it could be possible that you are very strong but your children are not they easily influenced by advertisements and your children are your weakness.
On the other hand, the majority, including myself, believe advertising remains highly influential. Advertisements target our subconscious, making resistance difficult. For instance, when visiting a clothing store to buy a needed item, discounted products may prove too tempting to ignore. Additionally, parents may resist ads, but their children, who are easily influenced, become a weak point, pressuring them into purchases.
In conclusion, while some minor group of people have the opinion that we are not get influenced by advertisements any more but in my perspective most people are unable to resist not to buy useless products due to their subconscious pronoun or their children.
In conclusion, while a minority believes we are no longer swayed by advertisements, I contend that most people struggle to resist due to subconscious influence or external pressures like their children’s demands.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
5.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
average
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • You have addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which meets the task requirements. However, your arguments could be more developed and supported with stronger examples.
  • Some points are unclear or repetitive (e.g., "subconscious pronoun" should likely be "subconscious mind").
  • The conclusion restates your opinion but could be more concise and refined.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure, but some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less smooth.
  • Transition words could be used more effectively (e.g., "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" are used correctly, but some sentences lack clear connections).
  • Paragraphing is appropriate, but some ideas within paragraphs could be better organized.

Lexical Resource

  • There are several word choice errors (e.g., "pronoun" instead of "mind," "temptation" instead of "tempting").
  • Some phrases are unnatural (e.g., "advertising sector," "traditional and out of date method").
  • Repetition of words like "believe" and "opinion" could be reduced with synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are multiple grammatical errors:
    • Subject-verb agreement: "This minor group have" → "This minor group has."
    • Incorrect prepositions: "for make people to buy" → "for making people buy."
    • Unnecessary words: "you cannot avoid not to buy it" → "you cannot avoid buying it."
    • Tense issues: "you are unable to resist not to buy" → "you are unable to resist buying."
  • Sentence structure is sometimes confusing (e.g., "your children are your weakness" could be clearer).

Suggestions for Improvement

  • Clarify and refine ideas: Some arguments are unclear (e.g., "subconscious pronoun").
  • Improve grammar and word choice: Proofread for errors and use more natural phrasing.
  • Strengthen examples: Provide more concrete or relatable examples to support your points.
  • Vary vocabulary: Use synonyms to avoid repetition.

Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion, but refining grammar, clarity, and supporting details would make it stronger. Keep practicing!