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Question: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory j...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Some individuals argue that it is the best approacheapproach to adopt with bad situations, including unsatisfactory jobs or low incomes. Others believe that trying to enhanceimprove such situations can be a better strategy. Personally, I believe we should allocate efforts time and effort to achieve our goals and change our lives. Those who argue we should accept bad situations, including unsatisfactory jobs, believe that this approach can bring some benefits. By accepting bad situations, we can redirect our concentration onto more poistive aspectpositive aspects of our lives. For example, people with low incomes or unsatisfactory jobs often focus on theirthe positive aspectaspects of their personal lives. By doing so, they can feel better and even improve in other aspect other areas. This approach also helps people to alleviate stress and anixetyanxiety, as they think less think about their problems. However, others believe we should try to endeavour to enhace enhance situations that we do not feel satisfied with. They belivebelieve by dedecatingdedicating time and effortseffort we can change sitatuationssituations. If people keep perseverancepersevering and resilienceremain resilient to takcle problemtackle problems and improve their lives, they can absolutely can reap the rewards of their hardworkhard work. For example, it can be seen that many entrepreneurs and successful people were in bad situations and they mangadmanaged to acheiveachieve their goals and make situations better by effortsthrough effort. Therefore, if individual stratindividuals strive to enhance their lives, they can not only can improver improve their quality of liveslife but also can fulfill their dreams. In conclusion, although accepting bad situationsituations can present some benefits, including reducing stress, trying to improve situationsituations can be the best aproachapproach to have a prosperous and fulfullingfulfilling life.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Some individuals argue that is the best approache to adopt with bad situations, including unsatisfactory jobs or low incomes. Others believe that trying to enhance such situations can be better strategy. Personally, I believe we should allocate efforts time to achieve our goals and change our lives.
Some individuals argue that acceptance is the best approach to deal with difficult situations, including unsatisfactory jobs or low incomes. Others believe that striving to improve such circumstances is a better strategy. Personally, I believe we should dedicate time and effort to achieving our goals and transforming our lives.
Those who argue we should accept bad situations, including unsatisfactory jobs, believe that this approach can bring some benefits. By accepting bad situations, we can redirect our concentration on more poistive aspect of our lives. For example, people with low incomes or unsatisfactory jobs often focus on their positive aspect personal lives. By doing so, they can feel better and even improve in other aspect other areas. This approach also helps people to alleviate stress and anixety, as they less think about their problems.
Those who advocate accepting unfavorable situations, such as unsatisfactory jobs, argue that this approach offers certain benefits. By accepting challenging circumstances, individuals can redirect their focus toward more positive aspects of their lives. For example, people with low incomes or unfulfilling jobs often concentrate on their personal relationships or hobbies. Doing so allows them to maintain a sense of contentment and even excel in other areas. This mindset also helps reduce stress and anxiety, as they dwell less on their problems.
However,others believe we should try to endeavour to enhace situations that we do not feel satisfied with. They belive by dedecating time and efforts we can change sitatuations. If people keep perseverance and resilience to takcle problem and improve their lives, they absolutely can reap the rewards of their hardwork. For example, it can be seen many entrepreneurs and successful people were in bad situations and they mangad to acheive their goals and make situations better by efforts. Therefore, if individual strat to enhance their lives, they not only can improver their quality of lives but also can fulfill their dreams.
However, others argue that we should make an effort to improve situations we find unsatisfactory. They believe that by dedicating time and effort, we can change our circumstances. With perseverance and resilience, individuals can overcome challenges and ultimately reap the rewards of their hard work. For instance, many successful entrepreneurs initially faced adversity but managed to achieve their goals through determination. Therefore, by striving for improvement, people can not only enhance their quality of life but also fulfill their aspirations.
In conclusion, although accepting bad situation can present some benefits,including reducing stress, trying to improve situation can be the best aproach to have prosperous and fulfulling life.
In conclusion, while accepting difficult situations may offer some benefits, such as reduced stress, actively working to improve one’s circumstances is ultimately the best approach to achieving a prosperous and fulfilling life.
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Overall Band Score
5.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • You have addressed both views and provided your opinion, which meets the task requirements. However, some points could be more clearly developed.
  • The introduction is clear but could be more concise. The thesis statement ("Personally, I believe we should allocate efforts time to achieve our goals and change our lives") is somewhat awkwardly phrased.
  • The body paragraphs present arguments for both sides, but some ideas are repetitive (e.g., "focus on positive aspects" is mentioned multiple times).
  • The conclusion is present but could be stronger—try to summarize the key points more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
  • Some sentences are awkwardly structured, making the flow less natural (e.g., "By accepting bad situations, we can redirect our concentration on more poistive aspect of our lives").
  • The second body paragraph is stronger in terms of argument development, but the first one could be more detailed.
  • Avoid minor grammatical errors (e.g., "poistive" → "positive," "anixety" → "anxiety") as they slightly disrupt readability.

Lexical Resource

  • There is a good range of vocabulary, but some words are misspelled ("poistive," "dedecating," "mangad," "aproach"). Proofreading would help.
  • Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "bad situations" is used frequently—consider synonyms like "adverse circumstances").
  • Some word choices are unnatural ("allocate efforts time" → "dedicate time and effort").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors, including:
    • Subject-verb agreement ("Some individuals argue that is the best approache" → "Some individuals argue that it is the best approach").
    • Missing articles ("the best approache" → "the best approach").
    • Incorrect word forms ("perseverance and resilience to takcle problem" → "perseverance and resilience to tackle problems").
  • Sentence structure is sometimes unclear (e.g., "they less think about their problems" → "they think less about their problems").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Proofread carefully to correct spelling and grammar mistakes.
  2. Vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition.
  3. Clarify sentence structure to improve readability.
  4. Develop arguments more deeply—explain with more specific examples or reasoning.
  5. Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing key points more effectively.

Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion, but refining language accuracy and argument depth would make it stronger. Keep practicing!