Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...
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There has been a debate among people about whether experts, including medical practitioners and engineers, should be allowed to gain experience in atheir own country while working in domestic areas domesticallyor work overseas in other countries. Both views have their own advantages which require careful consideration. Personally, I believe that having the autonomy to pursue their passion is a matter of importance. I will elaborate on my reasons in this essay.
On one hand, after spending several years at universitiesuniversity, majoring in a specific field of study, gaining work-related experience is crucial for professionals, because without proper empirical knowledge, earning high salaries would be impossible. In this context, some prominent workers like engineers choose to follow their dreamdreams on a global scale, which is highly recommended due to the benefits, such as high salarysalaries offered by international corporations, job entitlements, and things along those linesof that nature. For example, an engineer from a developing country is likely to be paid the standard salary in his or her homeland in comparison comparedwith their counterparts who have been employed in well-paying job positions at international organizations in developed countries.
On the flip side, there are numerous merits associated with working in domestic companies. First and foremost, the cultural and language barriers, which are the major difficulties for international applicants, are no longer two concerns for domestic workers. As a result, they are close to their family and friends, which leads them toward a happier life. For instance, as daily news reports highlight repeatedly thathighlight, those who work close to their neighborhood experiencexperience a much happier life than their peers who are working in a remote location, in an isolated environment. Additionally, every government plans to enact laws to oblige employers to support their domestic employees in order to encourage their yougeryounger generation not to leave their home country and put an end to the trend of brain drain, which contributes greatly to establishing a better working environment for domestic experts.
In conclusion, as discussed above, professionals should have a certain level of freedom to choose whether to work whether in their own country or to work globally, each of which have theirhas its own privileges whichthat should be taken into accountsaccount. My opinion is a neutral one, which subscribesubscribes to the view that this decision should be left to professionals to consider the situation based on their own preferencepreferences.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a balanced opinion, which is good. However, the introduction could be clearer in outlining the two views before stating your position.
The examples provided (e.g., engineers from developing countries, news reports on happiness) are relevant but could be more developed or supported with data or studies to strengthen your argument.
The conclusion restates your opinion but could be more concise and impactful.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and your opinion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Some sentences are overly long and complex, which affects readability. Breaking them into shorter sentences would improve clarity.
Phrases like "things along those lines" are too informal for an academic essay—more precise language would be better.
Lexical Resource
You use a good range of vocabulary (e.g., autonomy, empirical knowledge, brain drain), but some word choices are awkward or unnatural ("matter of importance" could be "of great importance").
Avoid redundancy (e.g., "work in a country while working in domestic areas" is unclear—simplify to "work in their home country").
Some phrases are repetitive ("domestic workers" is used multiple times—consider synonyms like "local professionals").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors:
"gaining work-related experience is crucial for professionals, because without proper empirical knowledge, earning high salaries would be impossible." → The comma before because is unnecessary.
"an engineer from a developing country is likely to be paid the standard salary in his or her homeland in comparison with their counterparts" → "compared to" would be more natural than "in comparison with."
"experienc a much happier life" → Typo ("experience").
Some verb tenses are inconsistent (e.g., "plans to enact laws" should be "plans on enacting laws" or "plans to enact").
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify the introduction – Briefly summarize both views before stating your opinion.
Simplify complex sentences – Break long sentences into shorter, clearer ones.
Refine word choice – Avoid informal phrases and repetition.
Proofread for grammar – Check for subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation.
Strengthen examples – Use more concrete evidence (statistics, studies) to support claims.
Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion but would benefit from clearer expression and stronger supporting details. Keep practicing!