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Question: Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subj...

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There is an ongoing debate among students about studying and learning extra subjects besides their main subject in the universitiesat university. While some believe that focusing merely on their subjects has a greater effect on their learning, others advocate for exploring other subjects. In my view, learning about other areas has a long-term impact on the personal and career life. On one hand, there are two different groups of some university students who passionare passionate about learning other subjects while they are studying at the university. The first group is attracted to this because of acquiring knowledge in several areas to enhance their skills or information for their daily activities or conservationsconversations. Therefore, for this purpose, subjects such as history and geography are popular. The other group, they strive strives to learn about other academic subjects to be highly accomplished in their main area. For instance, architecture students, by gaining information about other cultures, make create vital opportunities in their careercareers to work with foreign companies. On the other hand, others argue that studying the main subject should be a priority for university students. There are various reasons for this case. Firstly, they believe that their subjects are important enough, and there is no need for further masteringmastery. In this case, areas like cardiologistcardiology, involving continues studyingcontinuous study of countless books, are their full-time job,; thus, studying another subject would be a distracterdistraction for them. In addition, some consider that university is just a place for getting a qualification, and through their work and activities, they can gain necessary expertise or knowledge. In conclusion, students hold differing views on whether they should only focus on their subjects or studyingstudy other subjects, too. Although some believe that they should only study their main subjects because of how crucial it is to them, other students argue that discovering other areas is as effective as their own subjects. I assert that learning a new subject and area areis a key factor not only to havehaving a successful career but also to bebeing better in the life.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
There is an ongoing debate among students about studying and learning extra subjects besides their main subject in the universities. While some believe that focusing merely on their subjects has a greater effect on their learning, others advocate for exploring other subjects. In my view, learning about other areas has a long-term impact on the personal and career life.
There is an ongoing debate among students about whether to study and learn additional subjects alongside their main field of study at university. While some believe that focusing solely on their primary subjects has a greater impact on their learning, others advocate for exploring a broader range of topics. In my view, acquiring knowledge in diverse areas has a long-term positive effect on both personal and professional development.
On one hand, there are two different groups of some university students who passion about learning other subjects while they are studying at the university. The first group attracted to this because of acquiring knowledge in several areas to enhance their skills or information for their daily activities or conservations. Therefore, for this purpose subjects such as history and geography are popular. The other group, they strive to learn about other academic subjects to be highly accomplished in their main area. For instance, architecture students by gaining information about other cultures make vital opportunities in their career to work with foreign companies.
On one hand, there are two distinct groups of university students who are passionate about learning additional subjects while pursuing their degrees. The first group is motivated by the desire to gain knowledge in various fields to enhance their skills and enrich their daily interactions. Consequently, subjects such as history and geography are particularly popular among them. The second group strives to learn about other academic disciplines to achieve a higher level of competence in their primary area of study. For instance, architecture students who gain insights into different cultures can create valuable opportunities for themselves by collaborating with international firms.
On the other hand, others argue that studying main subject should be a priority for university students. There are various reasons for this case. Firstly, they believe that their subjects are important enough, and there is no need for further mastering. In this case, areas like cardiologist, involving continues studying countless books, are their full-time job, thus, studying another subject would be a distracter for them. In addition, some consider that university is just a place for getting a qualification, and through their work and activities, they can necessary expertise or knowledge.
On the other hand, some argue that prioritizing their main subject should be the focus for university students. There are several reasons for this perspective. Firstly, they believe that their primary subjects are sufficiently important, and there is no need for further specialization. In fields such as cardiology, which require extensive study of numerous texts, students may find that pursuing another subject would be a distraction from their demanding workload. Additionally, some individuals view university primarily as a means to obtain a qualification, believing that they can acquire the necessary expertise and knowledge through practical experience in their future careers.
In conclusion, students hold differing views whether they should only focus on their subjects or studying other subjects, too. Although some believe that they should only study their main subjects because of how crucial it is to them, other students argue that discovering other areas is as effective as their own subjects. I assert that learning a new subject and area are a key factor not only to have a successful career but also to be better in the life.
In conclusion, students hold differing views on whether they should concentrate solely on their main subjects or also explore additional areas of study. While some argue that focusing exclusively on their primary subjects is crucial, others contend that broadening their knowledge base is equally beneficial. I assert that learning new subjects is a key factor not only for achieving a successful career but also for enhancing one’s overall quality of life.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether university students should focus solely on their main subjects or explore additional subjects. It also provides a clear opinion, supporting the idea of learning about other areas for long-term benefits.
  • Development of Ideas: The essay presents reasons for both perspectives, but the arguments could be more developed. For instance, the benefits of learning additional subjects could be expanded with more specific examples or evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific point. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of learning additional subjects to the drawbacks of not focusing on the main subject could be more fluid.
  • Cohesive Devices: Some cohesive devices are used, such as "on one hand" and "on the other hand," but more varied linking words and phrases could enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource

  • Range of Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there is room for more sophisticated language. For example, instead of "learning other subjects," phrases like "broadening academic horizons" could be used.
  • Accuracy: There are minor errors in word choice and usage, such as "passion about" which should be "passionate about."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structures: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, but some sentences are awkwardly constructed. For example, "The first group attracted to this because of acquiring knowledge" could be rephrased for clarity.
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are some grammatical errors, such as "involving continues studying" which should be "involving continuous study." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas, are present.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Expand on Ideas: Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support the arguments, particularly for the benefits of learning additional subjects.
  2. Enhance Cohesion: Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
  3. Improve Vocabulary: Incorporate more advanced vocabulary and phrases to demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
  4. Refine Grammar: Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid awkward phrasing and errors. Consider revising sentences for clarity and correctness.

Overall, the essay presents a balanced discussion of the topic, but further development and refinement in language use and coherence would strengthen the response.