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Question: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
eseThese days, companies are competing for the novelty of their products. Customer preferences may result in influence this competition in some ways. In my opinion, the novelty of products leads to people'sgreater convenience, which could be considered a positive development. Companies consider individual preferences to reachachieve their goals and make a fortuneprofit. People's demand changesdemands change over time, so cutting-edge technology takes responsibility for meeting current needs. For example, there is a risinggrowing demand for better camera zoom in cell phones, so Apple annually introduces a new version of cell phones that coversaddresses the previous versionmodel's deficiency in camerascamera limitations. So as As individuals' demands change, theso do companies' ideas changeinnovations. There are competing views on whether this newnessnovelty is a good or bad development. Generally, it is considered a positive development because it facilitatesalleviates life's difficulties with new-brand devices. Take online restaurants as an example,: they provide ready-made meals for people who are not able to cannot eat out. Additionally, they are adding some offer options such as the fastest faster delivery and preparation. Although anthe increasing percentagepopularity of ordering fast food brings some diseases such ascontributes to health issues like obesity and diabetes, I believe that new technology decreasesreduces daily life burdens. Another example is Tesla's company concentrating on developing self-driving cars that don’t need drivers to for long-distance travel even far distances. Consequently, disabled people can take a trip with no effort by travel effortlessly using these modern carsvehicles. To conclude, the companycompanies's competition for newness is a result of the changing novelty stems from changing consumer preferences of individuals in different yearsover time. As a result, companies will be encouraged are motivated to respond to meet these requests which finally ends in people's demands, ultimately leading to customer satisfaction. SoTherefore, this emphasisfocus on novelty should be consideredviewed as a positive development.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
ese days, companies are competing for the novelty of their products. Customer preferences may result in this competition in some ways. In my opinion, the novelty of products leads to people's convenience, which could be considered a positive development.
These days, companies are competing to create novel products. This competition is partly driven by changing customer preferences. In my opinion, product innovation enhances people's convenience, representing a positive development.
Companies consider individual preferences to reach their goals and make a fortune. People's demand changes over time, so cutting-edge technology takes responsibility for meeting current needs. For example, there is a rising demand for better camera zoom in cell phones, so Apple annually introduces a new version of cell phones that covers the previous version's deficiency in cameras. So as individuals' demands change, the companies' ideas change.
Businesses adapt to consumer demands to achieve commercial success. As preferences evolve, companies employ cutting-edge technology to meet contemporary needs. For instance, the growing demand for improved smartphone cameras has led Apple to release annual upgrades addressing previous models' limitations. This demonstrates how consumer expectations drive corporate innovation.
There are competing views on whether this newness is a good or bad development. Generally, it is considered a positive development because it facilitates life difficulties with new-brand devices. Take online restaurants as an example, they provide ready-made meals for people who are not able to eat out. Additionally, they are adding some options such as the fastest delivery and preparation. Although an increasing percentage of ordering fast food brings some diseases such as obesity and diabetes, I believe that new technology decreases daily life burdens. Another example is Tesla's company concentrating on cars that don’t need drivers to travel even far distances. Consequently, disabled people can take a trip with no effort by using these modern cars.
Opinions vary regarding whether this focus on novelty is beneficial. However, it generally represents progress by simplifying daily life through advanced devices. Online food delivery services exemplify this, offering convenient meal solutions for those unable to dine out while continuously improving features like delivery speed. Although increased fast food consumption may contribute to health issues like obesity, technological advancements ultimately reduce life's daily challenges. Similarly, Tesla's autonomous vehicles enable effortless travel, particularly benefiting individuals with disabilities.
To conclude, the company's competition for newness is a result of the changing preferences of individuals in different years. As a result, companies will be encouraged to respond to these requests which finally ends in people's satisfaction. So, this emphasis on novelty should be considered a positive development.
In conclusion, corporate competition for innovation stems from shifting consumer preferences over time. This dynamic encourages companies to fulfill evolving demands, ultimately enhancing customer satisfaction. Therefore, this emphasis on product novelty should be viewed as a positive trend.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: Your essay addresses both parts of the question—why businesses emphasize novelty and whether it is positive or negative. However, the reasoning could be more developed, especially in explaining why novelty is emphasized (beyond just changing consumer preferences).
  • Supporting Examples: You provide relevant examples (Apple, online restaurants, Tesla), which strengthen your argument. However, some points could be expanded further (e.g., how novelty directly benefits consumers beyond convenience).
  • Balance of Opinion: Your stance (positive development) is clear, but a brief acknowledgment of potential drawbacks (e.g., environmental waste from constant upgrades) would make the argument more balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Logical Flow: The essay follows a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing Apple to online restaurants feels abrupt.
  • Paragraphing: The paragraphs are well-structured, but the second body paragraph could be split into two—one discussing benefits and another addressing counterarguments.
  • Linking Words: Some cohesive devices are used effectively ("Additionally," "Consequently"), but others could be improved (e.g., "So as individuals' demands change" could be rephrased for clarity).

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary Range: You use a good variety of words ("novelty," "cutting-edge technology," "facilitates"), but some phrasing is awkward ("new-brand devices," "fastest delivery and preparation").
  • Word Choice & Accuracy: Some word choices could be more precise (e.g., "make a fortune" is informal; "ends in people's satisfaction" could be "leads to greater satisfaction").
  • Repetition: Avoid repeating "newness" and "novelty" too frequently; synonyms like "innovation" or "advancements" could help.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: A mix of simple and complex sentences is used, but some sentences are unclear or grammatically incorrect (e.g., "Customer preferences may result in this competition in some ways" could be reworded for clarity).
  • Grammar Errors:
    • "Apple annually introduces a new version of cell phones that covers the previous version's deficiency in cameras." → "Apple introduces new phone versions annually, improving upon previous camera deficiencies."
    • "So as individuals' demands change, the companies' ideas change." → "As consumer demands evolve, companies adapt their products accordingly."
    • "Although an increasing percentage of ordering fast food brings some diseases..." → "Although the rise in fast-food consumption contributes to health issues..."
  • Article Use: Missing articles in places (e.g., "companies' ideas" → "companies' product ideas").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Expand on Reasons for Novelty: Explain why businesses focus on novelty (e.g., market competition, psychological appeal of "new" products).
  2. Strengthen Counterarguments: Briefly acknowledge potential downsides (e.g., overconsumption, environmental impact) before reinforcing your positive stance.
  3. Improve Clarity & Flow: Some sentences need rephrasing for smoother transitions and better readability.
  4. Proofread for Grammar: Review sentence structure and article usage to minimize errors.

Overall, your essay presents a clear argument with good examples, but refining grammar, coherence, and depth of analysis would enhance its effectiveness. Keep practicing!