Question: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in...
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These days, companies are competing for the novelty of their products. Customer preferences may result in influencethis competition in some ways. In my opinion, the novelty of products leads to people's convenience, which could be considered as a positive development.
Companies consider individual preferences to reach their goals and make a fortune. People's demand changesdemands change over time, so cutting-edge technology takes responsibility for meeting current needs. For example, there is a rising demand for better camera zoom in cell phones, so Apple company annually introduces a new version of cell phones that coversaddresses the previous version's deficiencydeficiencies in the camera. So as Asindividuals' demands change, the companies' ideas changeevolve.
There are competing views on whether this newness is a good or bad development. Generally, it is considered a positive development, because it facilitateseases life's difficulties bywith new-brand devices. Take online restaurants as an example,: they provide ready-made meals for people who are not able unableto eat out. Additionally, they are adding some offeroptions such as the fastest delivery and preparation. Although an increasing percentage of ordering fast-food brings someorders leads to diseases such as obesity and diabetes, I believe that new technology decreasesreduces daily life burdens. Another example,is Tesla's company concentrating focuson cars that don’t need drivers to travel even farlong distances. Consequently, disabled people can take a trip with no effort trips effortlesslyby using these modern cars.
To conclude, the companycompanies's competition for newness is a result of results fromthe changing preferences of individuals in differentover the years. As a result, companies will be areencouraged to respond to these requests, which finally ends inultimately leads to people's satisfaction. SoTherefore, this emphasis on novelty should be considered as a positive accidenttrend.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing why businesses emphasize novelty in their products and presenting a clear opinion on whether this is positive or negative.
The examples you provide (Apple, online restaurants, Tesla) are relevant and help support your argument. However, some points could be further developed for stronger clarity. For instance, the link between novelty and convenience could be explained more explicitly.
The conclusion restates your position well, but it could be more concise and avoid repetition (e.g., "positive accident" is unclear—"positive development" would be better).
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing changing demands to the debate on whether novelty is positive could be better connected.
Minor grammatical errors (e.g., "new-brand devices" should be "newly branded devices") slightly affect flow.
Lexical Resource
You use a good range of vocabulary (e.g., "cutting-edge technology," "facilitates life difficulties"). However, some word choices are awkward or incorrect (e.g., "positive accident" instead of "positive trend").
Avoid informal phrasing like "make a fortune"—more formal alternatives (e.g., "maximize profits") would be better.
Some redundancy occurs (e.g., "newness" is repeated; synonyms like "innovation" could be used).
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity:
"Customer preferences may result in this competition in some ways." → Unclear phrasing; better: "This competition may stem from shifting customer preferences."
"So as individuals' demands change, the companies' ideas change." → Awkward structure; better: "Thus, as consumer demands evolve, companies adapt their products accordingly."
"An increasing percentage of ordering fast food brings some diseases" → Better: "The rise in fast-food consumption contributes to health issues."
Work on article usage ("the novelty of products" → "the novelty of their products") and subject-verb agreement.
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify and Expand Ideas – Some arguments need deeper explanation (e.g., how novelty directly leads to convenience).
Improve Transitions – Use more cohesive devices (e.g., "Furthermore," "Consequently") to guide the reader.
Refine Word Choice – Replace informal or unclear phrases with more precise academic language.
Proofread for Grammar – Review articles, prepositions, and sentence structure to minimize errors.
Overall, your essay presents a clear stance with relevant examples, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and coherence will strengthen it further. Keep practicing!