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Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...

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Some people believe that professions, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they didreceived their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. In today's globalized world, people have the opportunity to live and work in various countries. While some believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should remain in the country where they receivedobtained their training, others argue that they should have the freedom to work wherever they choose. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion. Proponents of requiring professionals to stay in their training country argue that this would address shortages in critical sectors like healthcare. For example, in countries like Iran, emigration has led to a lackshortage of doctors, causing significant challenges for public health. Furthermore, these individuals benefit from the educational resources of their home country, often subsidized by taxpayers. Thus, there is a moral obligation to give back to the society that facilitatedsupported their education. Universities also have limited capacity, and it may seem unfair if students occupy spaces only to leave upon graduation, depriving others of the same opportunity. While these arguments are valid, enforcing such restrictions may violate individual rights. A better approach could involve requiring graduates to work locally for a few years before seekingpursuing opportunities abroad. On the other hand, opponents argue that individuals should have the freedom to decidechoose where they live and work. People are more productive and motivated when working in environments that align with their personal goals and preferences. Forcing someone to remain in a country where they feel dissatisfied may reduce their efficiency, potentially leading to substandard work. For instance, an engineer working in an unfulfilling environment might lack innovationmotivation, or a dissatisfied doctor may make critical errors in diagnosis. Additionally, some countries may lack sufficient job opportunities in specific fields. For example, while chemistry may offer lucrative careers in Canada, it might not be as practicalviable in other nations, forcing professionals to seek work elsewhere. In conclusion, while it is essential to address the adverse effects of emigration on certain countries, individuals should not be compelled to stay where they trained. Governments can instead implement temporary work obligations or incentives to balance national interests with personal freedoms, allowing professionals to thrive in environments where they feel most fulfille fulfilled.
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This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Some people believe that professions, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion In today's globalized world, people have the opportunity to live and work in various countries. While some believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should remain in the country where they received their training, others argue that they should have the freedom to work wherever they choose. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion. Proponents of requiring professionals to stay in their training country argue that this would address shortages in critical sectors like healthcare. For example, in countries like Iran, emigration has led to a lack of doctors, causing significant challenges for public health. Furthermore, these individuals benefit from the educational resources of their home country, often subsidized by taxpayers. Thus, there is a moral obligation to give back to the society that facilitated their education. Universities also have limited capacity, and it may seem unfair if students occupy spaces only to leave upon graduation, depriving others of the same opportunity. While these arguments are valid, enforcing such restrictions may violate individual rights. A better approach could involve requiring graduates to work locally for a few years before seeking opportunities abroad. On the other hand, opponents argue that individuals should have the freedom to decide where they live and work. People are more productive and motivated when working in environments that align with their personal goals and preferences. Forcing someone to remain in a country where they feel dissatisfied may reduce their efficiency, potentially leading to substandard work. For instance, an engineer working in an unfulfilling environment might lack innovation, or a dissatisfied doctor may make critical errors in diagnosis. Additionally, some countries may lack sufficient job opportunities in specific fields. For example, while chemistry may offer lucrative careers in Canada, it might not be as practical in other nations, forcing professionals to seek work elsewhere. In conclusion, while it is essential to address the adverse effects of emigration on certain countries, individuals should not be compelled to stay where they trained. Governments can instead implement temporary work obligations or incentives to balance national interests with personal freedoms, allowing professionals to thrive in environments where they feel most fulfille
Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they received their training, while others argue they should have the freedom to work abroad. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my viewpoint. Those who support mandatory service in the training country highlight several benefits. Firstly, developing nations often invest heavily in education, and professionals leaving immediately after graduation represents a loss of valuable resources. For instance, many African countries face severe doctor shortages due to medical graduates migrating to wealthier nations. Secondly, professionals possess skills crucial for national development, particularly in essential services like healthcare and infrastructure. A doctor remaining in their home country could save countless lives, while an engineer could contribute to vital construction projects. However, while these arguments have merit, complete restrictions on mobility may violate fundamental human rights and could discourage talented individuals from pursuing certain careers. Conversely, advocates for professional mobility emphasize individual rights and global benefits. In an interconnected world, the free movement of skilled workers allows knowledge and expertise to be shared internationally. A Nigerian doctor working in the UK, for example, not only earns higher wages but also gains experience that could benefit their home country if they eventually return. Furthermore, forcing professionals to remain where they trained may lead to dissatisfaction and reduced productivity. An engineer compelled to work in unfavorable conditions might produce inferior work, potentially compromising safety standards in critical projects. In my opinion, a balanced approach would be most effective. Governments could implement policies requiring graduates to work domestically for a fixed period, perhaps three to five years, before permitting international opportunities. This would allow countries to benefit from their investment in education while respecting individual freedoms. Additionally, creating more attractive working conditions and competitive salaries could naturally encourage professionals to remain in their home countries without the need for restrictive measures. Such an approach would address national needs while acknowledging the realities of our globalized workforce.
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Overall Band Score
8
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
strong
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

  • The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, presenting clear reasons for each perspective.
  • The introduction sets up the discussion well, and the conclusion provides a balanced opinion.
  • However, the response could benefit from more specific examples (e.g., named countries, statistics) to strengthen the argument further.
  • The word count exceeds the minimum requirement, which is good, but some sentences could be more concise to improve clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing—each paragraph focuses on a distinct viewpoint.
  • Transition words (e.g., "Furthermore," "On the other hand," "In conclusion") help guide the reader smoothly.
  • Some sentences could be more tightly connected (e.g., the shift between discussing shortages in Iran and taxpayer-funded education could be smoother).

Lexical Resource

  • A good range of vocabulary is used (e.g., "proponents," "subsidized," "compelled," "lucrative").
  • Some phrasing could be more natural (e.g., "While these arguments are valid, enforcing such restrictions may violate individual rights" could be reworded for better flow).
  • Avoid minor repetition (e.g., "work in various countries" and "work wherever they choose" could be varied more).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • The grammar is mostly accurate, with only minor errors (e.g., "forcing professionals to seek work elsewhere" could be phrased more smoothly).
  • A mix of complex and simple sentence structures is used effectively.
  • Some sentences are overly long (e.g., "For example, while chemistry may offer lucrative careers in Canada, it might not be as practical in other nations, forcing professionals to seek work elsewhere"). Breaking these into shorter sentences could improve readability.

Suggestions for Improvement

  • More precise examples: Instead of generalizing ("some countries"), name specific nations or cite studies to strengthen arguments.
  • Tighter sentence flow: Some transitions between ideas could be smoother (e.g., linking taxpayer-funded education to moral obligation more explicitly).
  • Varied phrasing: Avoid repeating similar structures (e.g., "forcing professionals to seek work elsewhere" could be reworded).

Overall, this is a well-structured and thoughtful response, but refining clarity and adding more concrete examples would enhance its impact.