Question: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular ...

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The extent to which discovering environmental issues has been a topic of debate among somemany. The first viewpoint posits that the main problem is connected to the loss of somecertain kinds of flora and fauna while others, including myself, hold the view that other environmental problems such as pollution and climate change are more important. Regarding the first view, it is said that biodiversity has a vital impact on ecosystem balance as they have theirit has its roles such as pollination, water purification, and nutrient cycling, which are all necessary for human survival. Consequently, the extinction of keystone species can trigger detrimental effects, disrupting the entire ecosystem, and leading to irreversible damage. If we cannot manage these serious problems, we will face the eradication of many species like the dinosaurs. Shifting to the second school of argumentthought, they believe that in the modern areaera, a majority of causesactivities have negative effects on the environment. As a case of this in point, the form of human liveslife has changed over time; as a result, they produce more pollution due to their activities in manufacturing or using private cars. Moreover, research demonstrates that every year humans cut down millions of trees in favorfavour of producing paper or toilet paper that they use every day; therefore, this course of action will impact tothe loss of somecertain species. On the other side of the spectrum, environmental problems are more widespread compared to the extinction of particular species of plants and animals. Despite the first view of the argument, they are of the opinion that in case of while the eradication of species is a significant concern, however, larger issues such as pollution, and deforestation are more crucial. In this This point of view posits that the root of all these problems areis related to humans. Furthermore, if every individual with change changes their way of life, not only will they will pave the way for reducing problems, but also for mitigating the extinction of flora and fauna. In conclusion, it is logical to accept that the loss of somecertain animals and plants has become an urgent matter amongfor some; however, other problems are more important because all of society is responsible for decreasing them in order to protect ecosystems.
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Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on environmental problems: the loss of species and other issues like pollution and climate change. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer statement of the writer's own opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
  • Development of Ideas: The essay provides a reasonable explanation of both viewpoints. However, the argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or data to support the claims, particularly in the discussion of pollution and climate change.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear structure that separates the discussion of the two viewpoints. However, the transition between discussing the loss of species and other environmental issues could be smoother.
  • Cohesive Devices: The use of cohesive devices is present but could be improved. Phrases like "on the other side of the spectrum" and "shifting to the second school of argument" help guide the reader, but more varied and precise linking words could enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource

  • Range of Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to environmental issues, such as "biodiversity," "ecosystem balance," and "deforestation." However, there are some awkward phrases, such as "the form of human lives has changed over time," which could be expressed more clearly.
  • Accuracy: There are minor errors in word choice and usage, such as "in favor of producing paper" which could be more accurately expressed as "for the production of paper."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the complexity of the writing. However, some sentences are overly complex and could be simplified for clarity.
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are a few grammatical errors, such as "every individual with change their way of life" which should be "every individual should change their way of life." Attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage would improve the grammatical accuracy.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify Your Opinion: Clearly state your opinion in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion to provide a more cohesive argument.
  2. Use Specific Examples: Incorporate specific examples or data to support your points, particularly when discussing pollution and climate change.
  3. Enhance Cohesion: Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
  4. Simplify Complex Sentences: Review sentence structures to ensure clarity and avoid overly complex sentences.
  5. Proofread for Errors: Pay attention to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to enhance the overall quality of the writing.