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Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

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There is an ongoing debate about the effectiveness of advertisements. While some argue that nowadays these commercials no longer have theiran impact on individuals, others advocate for the significant effects of advertisementadvertising. In my view, advertising still has its effective strategies to influence people. On the one hand, it is undeniably true that people easily purchase goods based on the advertisementadvertisements they watchedwatch. The expertise of those who create them is a major reason for the power of advertising. Most of them are industrial psychologists who study human behavior and the techniques of persuading people. In this way, they know the exact colours and words to attract customers, and even their needs are obvious to them. Additionally, in the wake of technological advancements, individuals have access to many online platforms, such as Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, which make it easy for advertising agencies to drawreach different groupgroups of customers. On the other hand, despite the above arguments, another group argues that because of public awareness of these commercials’ factstactics, they are not being affected by them. First of all, people notice that advertisements do not always show the truth ofabout the products; they use special effects. For example, in fast-food restaurants, the advertised images of their food are often not often quite the same as reality. Moreover, as individuals face too many commercial breaks on different platforms, these advertisements have become far too normalcommon for viewers, so they prefer to skip them or purchase the premium version to avoid advertising. In conclusion, people hold different views on whether advertising still has still its the power to attract customers or not. Although some believe that people are aware that advertisements sometimes hide the truth, and therefore they will not be affected, others argue that the methods used in advertising meet market demands. I assert that commercial advertising has the most vitalsignificant impact on humans.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
There is an ongoing debate about the effectiveness of advertisements. While some argue that nowadays these commercials no longer have their impact on individuals, others advocate for the significant effects of advertisement. In my view, advertising still has its effective strategies to influence people.
There is an ongoing debate regarding the effectiveness of advertisements. While some argue that modern commercials no longer influence individuals, others contend that advertising remains highly impactful. In my view, advertisements still employ effective strategies to shape consumer behavior.
On the one hand, it is undeniably true that people easily purchase goods based on the advertisement they watched. The expertise of those who create them is a major reason for power of advertising. Most of them are industrial psychologists who study human behavior and the techniques of persuading people. In this way, they know the exact colours and words to attract customers, and even their needs are obvious to them. Additionally, in the wake of technological advancements, individuals have access to many online platforms, such as Instagram, YouTube and TikTok, which make it easy for advertising agencies to draw different group of customers.
On the one hand, it is undeniable that advertisements significantly influence purchasing decisions. The expertise of advertisers plays a crucial role in this process. Many are industrial psychologists who study human behavior and persuasion techniques, enabling them to use precise colors, language, and appeals to attract consumers. Furthermore, technological advancements have expanded advertising reach through platforms like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, allowing marketers to target diverse audiences effectively.
On the other hand, despite the above arguments, another group argues that because of public awareness of these commercials’ facts, they are not being affected by them. First of all, people notice that advertisements do not always show the truth of the products; they use special effects. For example, in fast-food restaurants, the advertised images of their food are not often quite the same as reality. Moreover, as individuals face too many commercial breaks on different platforms, these advertisements have become far too normal for viewers, so they prefer to skip them or purchase the premium version to avoid advertising.
On the other hand, critics argue that increased public awareness has diminished the influence of advertisements. Many consumers recognize that advertisements often exaggerate or misrepresent products. For instance, fast-food commercials frequently depict meals that differ significantly from reality. Additionally, the sheer volume of ads across digital platforms has led to ad fatigue, prompting many users to skip ads or pay for ad-free experiences.
In conclusion, people hold different views on whether advertising has still its power to attract customers or not. Although some believe that people aware that advertisements sometimes hide the truth, therefore they will not be affected, others argue that the methods used in advertising meet market demands. I assert that commercial advertising has the most vital impact on humans.
In conclusion, opinions remain divided on whether advertising retains its persuasive power. While some believe consumers are now more skeptical of exaggerated claims, others argue that advertising techniques continue to align with market demands. I maintain that advertisements still exert a substantial influence on consumer choices.
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Overall Band Score
7.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
strong
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
  • The introduction effectively sets up the discussion, and the conclusion summarizes the main points while restating your stance.
  • Some arguments could be more developed. For example, the point about "industrial psychologists" is interesting but could be expanded with a specific example or study to strengthen the argument.
  • The example about fast-food advertisements is relevant but could be more detailed (e.g., mentioning a specific brand or study on misleading advertising).

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphing (introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion).
  • Some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the effectiveness of ads to public skepticism could be better linked with a phrase like "However, not everyone is convinced by these persuasive techniques."
  • Repetition of "advertisement" and "commercials" could be varied with synonyms like "marketing," "promotions," or "brand messaging" for better lexical range.

Lexical Resource

  • You use a good range of vocabulary (e.g., "industrial psychologists," "technological advancements," "public awareness").
  • Some phrasing could be more natural:
    • "they know the exact colours and words to attract customers" → "they know precisely which colors and wording will appeal to consumers."
    • "their needs are obvious to them" → "they understand consumer desires intuitively."
  • Avoid minor errors like:
    • "draw different group of customers" → "target different customer demographics."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Generally strong grammar, but watch for minor errors:
    • "people easily purchase goods based on the advertisement they watched" → "people often buy products based on advertisements they have seen." (Tense consistency)
    • "these advertisements have become far too normal" → "these ads have become too commonplace." (More natural phrasing)
  • Some sentences could be more concise:
    • "In my view, advertising still has its effective strategies to influence people." → "I believe advertising still effectively influences consumers."

Suggestions for Improvement

  • Expand examples (e.g., name a brand known for misleading ads or cite a study on ad effectiveness).
  • Improve transitions between contrasting ideas for smoother flow.
  • Vary word choice to avoid repetition.
  • Proofread for minor grammatical errors (especially article usage and tense consistency).

Overall, this is a well-structured essay with strong arguments. Refining phrasing and adding more depth to examples would make it even stronger.