Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...
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There is an ongoing debate about the effectiveness of advertisements. While some argue that nowadays these commercials no longer have theiran impact on individuals, others advocate for the significant effects of advertisementadvertisements. In my view, advertising still has its effective strategies to influence people.
On the one hand, it is undeniably true that people easily purchase goods based on the advertisementadvertisements that they watchedwatch. The scienceexpertise of expertsthose who create them is a major reason for the power of advertising. Most of them are industrial psychologists who studiedstudy human behavioursbehaviour and the techniques of persuading peoplepersuasion. In this way, they know the exact colorscolours and words to attract customers, and even their needs are obvious to them. Additionally, in the wake of technological advancements, individuals have access to many online platforms, such as Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, which make it easy tofor advertising agencyagencies to draw in different groups of customers.
On the other hand, despite the above arguments, other group othersargue that because of the public awareness of these commercialcommercials's facts tactics, they are not being affected by them. First of all, people notice that advertisements aredo not always show the truth ofabout the products,; they are actually some often usespecial effects, for example, thein fast-food restaurants, their foodwhere the advertised images of their food are not often quiet quitethe same as the reality. Moreover, as individuals face too many commercial breaks on different platforms, these advertisements have become fartoo normal for viewers, so they prefer to skip them instead of watching them or purchasing the premium version to avoid advertising.
In conclusion, people hold different views on whether advertising still has itsthe power to attract customers or not. Although some believe that people are aware that advertisements sometimes hide the truth,and therefore they will not be affected, others argue that the methods are used onin advertising meet the market demands. lassertI assert that commercial advertising has the most vital impact on the humans.
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Feedback on the Essay
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, the response could be more balanced in discussing the opposing view. The second viewpoint (that ads are ignored) is somewhat underdeveloped compared to the first.
Some arguments lack depth. For example, the claim that people skip ads or buy premium versions to avoid them could be expanded with more concrete examples or statistics.
The conclusion restates the opinion but could summarize the key points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphing (introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion). However, transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less natural (e.g., "The science of experts who create them is a major reason for the power of advertising" could be reworded for clarity).
Repetition occurs in places (e.g., "advertising" is overused; synonyms like "commercials" or "marketing" could help).
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but some word choices are unnatural or incorrect (e.g., "their needs are obvious to them" is unclear; "not often quiet the same" should be "quite the same").
Some phrases are informal (e.g., "far normal" should be "so common").
More varied and precise vocabulary would strengthen the essay (e.g., instead of "methods are used on advertising," say "techniques employed in advertising").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors:
Subject-verb agreement issues ("other group argue" → "other groups argue").
Incorrect word forms ("advertising agency" should be "advertising agencies").
Missing articles ("the public awareness" → "public awareness").
Unnatural phrasing ("lassert that commercial advertising" → "I assert that").
Sentence structures are sometimes repetitive (e.g., frequent use of "On the one hand... On the other hand"). More complex structures (e.g., conditionals, passive voice) would improve variety.
Suggestions for Improvement
Balance the discussion – Give equal weight to both perspectives before stating your opinion.
Clarify and refine arguments – Avoid vague statements; use specific examples (e.g., which brands use misleading ads?).
Improve grammar and word choice – Proofread for errors and use more natural phrasing.
Enhance cohesion – Use linking words ("Furthermore," "Conversely," "As a result") to improve flow.
Overall, the essay presents a clear position but would benefit from more precise language, better-supported arguments, and stronger grammatical accuracy.