Question: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory j...

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While some individuals contend that accepting tough conditions is the optimal approach, others argue that improvement in improving the conditions should be preferable. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my point of view. On one hand, some individuals are opposed to the changeschange. They believe that what people experience is part of their lives, so that they should acknowledge challenges and difficulties, which leads to a stability in their lives. For instance, working in a position whichthat provides insufficient satisfaction is more convenient than acquiring new skills and roles for another occupation. Moreover, adapting withto difficulties can help people to acknowledge what they have and avoid consumerism because they strive to put up with financial instability. For example, insufficient budgets can oblige individuals to do less impulsive shopping, contributing to enhanced tolerance of thetheir condition. On the other hand, proponents of development believe that by making enoughsufficient efforts, people can have better lives. They argue that the acceptance of challenging conditions can leave behind hold people back from progress and success, which can deteriorate their situations. Once people accept that financial problems should be acceptedtolerated, they may lose what they have and become homeless because they try to acknowledgeaccept the condition instead of making money to alleviate it. Furthermore, people may suffer from emotional diseasesdisorders like depression and isolation when they are not satisfied with what they do, leading to lesslower productivity in the workplace. To conclude, while some individuals argue that the adaptation ofto adverse conditions can enhance stability and tolerance in their lives, I believe that people should strive to convertchange the conditions because accepting the problems can not only worsen the conditionsituation but also make people depressed and less productive.
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Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
strong
Linking Words
average
Spelling
strong
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
strong
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement:
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. The arguments for accepting a bad situation (stability, reduced consumerism) and improving it (avoiding stagnation, preventing emotional distress) are well-developed. However, some points could be more nuanced—for example, the example about homelessness is somewhat extreme and could be replaced with a more common scenario. The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reinforces the writer’s stance.

Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay is logically structured, with clear paragraphing and a smooth flow of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences could be smoother. For instance, "Moreover, adapting with difficulties can help people to acknowledge what they have..." could be linked more explicitly to the previous point. Additionally, minor grammatical errors (e.g., "adapting with difficulties" should be "adapting to difficulties") slightly disrupt coherence.

Lexical Resource:
The vocabulary is generally appropriate, with words like "consumerism," "deteriorate," and "alleviate" demonstrating a good range. However, there are some awkward phrasings (e.g., "adapting with difficulties," "oblige individuals to do less impulsive shopping") that could be refined for better clarity and naturalness. Repetition of "conditions" and "acknowledge" could be varied for better lexical diversity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are several grammatical errors:

  • Subject-verb agreement: "what people experience are part of their lives" (should be is).
  • Preposition errors: "adapting with difficulties" (should be to).
  • Article usage: "a stability" (should be stability without an article).
  • Word choice: "convenient" is misused in "more convenient than acquiring new skills" (better: easier or safer).

Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Refine transitions between ideas for smoother coherence.
  2. Replace extreme examples (e.g., homelessness) with more relatable scenarios.
  3. Correct grammatical errors, particularly prepositions and article usage.
  4. Vary vocabulary to avoid repetition (e.g., use "tolerate" instead of "acknowledge" in some places).

Overall, the essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, but polishing grammar and phrasing would enhance clarity and fluency.