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Question: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. O...

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People are often argue that weather advertising can be effective at cauragingencouraging individuals to buy things or it is so common that people no longer pay attention to it. In this essay, I am going to discuss both views and provide reasons for each while providing a personal point of view about the argument. So much advertising about a product or an item can influence individuals to try to buy that product or use that service even if it is not needed at that time. KeepKeeping seeing the same product in the different partparts of the day can push a person to seek the need offor it,; for instance, an advertisement about a specific chocolate can be seen fromon billboards on the roads, and on the bussesbuses running through town, and finally between YoutubeYouTube videos and other social mediasmedia. Consequently, a person will have the feeling of craving for that chocolate soand will finally will try to buy it even if it isdoes not havinghave the favorite flavorfavourite flavour for that person. On the other hand, watching so many addsads during a day can be boring for people, so they might not focus on what that advertisement is saying or even refuse to buy that object since too much advertising about that object creates a hatehateful feeling in humanhumans. In addition, there is a belief among the community that a good quality product dosedoes not need so manymuch advertising and can be popular by itself, and so muchmany ads about a specific item can be the reason offor the weakness of that thing and can be scamming, and the majority of the community will avoid to buy buying that product even if it is usefulluseful and needed among them. In my opinion, while effective advertisement can incourageencourage people to buy the product, but exessive excessive ad production could disturbedisturb people from totally watching any addsads till the end, so keeping a balance between the creation of advertisementadvertisements for the appropiateappropriate period of time can be more effective for industries to make people interest oninterested in buying that product. For example, finding the target group of people who need that item more can reduce the unnecessary advertisementadvertisements for other people and allowingallow each person to watch less advertisementfewer advertisements. In conclusion, effective advertisement can push a person to use that product, while so many advertisementadvertisements could be confusing, so in my ideaview, management of appropriate timetiming and group target of advertisementgroups for advertisements can help both companies and individuals to connect together bythrough the use of the advertising system.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
People are often argue that weather advertising can be effective at cauraging individuals to buy things or it is so common that people no longer pay attention to it. In this essay I am going to discuss both views and provide reasons for each while providing personal point of view about the argument.
People often argue whether advertising can effectively encourage individuals to make purchases or if it has become so commonplace that people no longer pay attention to it. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives, provide reasons for each, and present my personal viewpoint on the matter.
So much advertising about a product or an item can influence individuals to try to buy that product or use that service even if it is not needed at that time. Keep seeing same product in the different part of day can push a person to seek the need of it, for instance, an advertisement about a specific chocolate can be seen from billboards on the roads and on the busses running through town and finally between Youtube videos and other social medias. Consequently, a person will have the feeling of craving for that chocolate so finally will try to buy it even if it is not having the favorite flavor for that person.
Extensive advertising about a product or service can influence individuals to purchase it, even when unnecessary. Repeated exposure to the same product throughout the day can create a perceived need for it. For instance, advertisements for a specific chocolate brand might appear on roadside billboards, public buses, and between YouTube videos or social media content. Consequently, a person may develop a craving for that chocolate and eventually purchase it, regardless of whether it is their preferred flavor.
On the other hand, watching so many adds during a day can be boring for people so they might not focus on what that advertisement is saying or even refuse to buy that object since too much advertising about that object creates a hate feeling in human. In addition, there is a belief among community that a good quality product dose not need so many advertising and can be popular by itself and so much ads about specific item can be the reason of weakness of that thing and can be scamming and majority of community will avoid to buy that product even if it is usefull and needed among them.
Conversely, excessive advertising can overwhelm people, causing them to ignore the message or even develop aversion toward the product. Many believe that high-quality products do not require excessive promotion, as they gain popularity naturally. Over-advertising may lead consumers to perceive the product as inferior or potentially fraudulent, causing them to avoid purchasing it, even if it is genuinely useful or needed.
In my opinion, while effective advertisement can incourage people to buy the product but exessive ad production could disturbe people from totally watching any adds till the end so keeping a balance between creation of advertisement for the appropiate period of time can be more effective for industries to make people interest on buying that product. For example, finding the target group of people who need that item more can reduce the unnecessary advertisement for other people and allowing each person to watch less advertisement.
In my opinion, while effective advertising can encourage purchases, excessive promotion may lead to consumer fatigue, causing people to disregard advertisements altogether. Maintaining a balance in advertising frequency and duration would be more effective for industries. For example, targeting specific groups who are more likely to need the product can reduce unnecessary exposure for others, ensuring each individual encounters fewer, more relevant advertisements.
In conclusion, effective advertisement can push a person to use that product while so many advertisement could be confusing so in my idea, management of appropriate time and group target of advertisement can help both companies and individuals to connect together by the use of advertising system.
In conclusion, well-executed advertising can motivate purchases, but excessive promotion may have the opposite effect. I believe that strategic timing and targeted advertising can benefit both companies and consumers by creating meaningful connections through the advertising system.
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Overall Band Score
5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is good. However, the response could be more focused and structured. Some points are repetitive, and the argument could be developed with stronger examples and clearer reasoning.
  • The introduction is somewhat unclear due to grammatical errors ("People are often argue that weather advertising can be effective at cauraging individuals..."). A more precise and grammatically correct introduction would improve clarity.
  • The examples (e.g., chocolate ads) are relevant but could be expanded with more detail or real-world cases to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical flow, but some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making it harder to follow. For example:
    • "Keep seeing same product in the different part of day can push a person to seek the need of it..." (This could be rewritten for clarity.)
  • Transition words are used, but some paragraphs lack smooth connections. For instance, the shift between the second and third body paragraphs could be smoother.
  • The conclusion summarizes the main points but could be more concise and impactful.

Lexical Resource

  • There are several spelling and word choice errors:
    • "cauraging" → "encouraging"
    • "adds" → "ads" (or "advertisements")
    • "dose" → "does"
    • "incourage" → "encourage"
  • Some phrases are unnatural or unclear:
    • "exessive ad production could disturbe people from totally watching any adds till the end" (This could be reworded for clarity.)
  • A wider range of vocabulary (synonyms for "advertising," "product," "people") would improve lexical variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage:
    • "People are often argue" → "People often argue"
    • "Keep seeing same product" → "Continuously seeing the same product"
    • "it is not having the favorite flavor" → "it is not their favorite flavor"
  • Some sentences are overly long and confusing. Breaking them into shorter, clearer sentences would help.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Revise for grammar and spelling – Proofread carefully or use tools like Grammarly to catch errors.
  2. Improve clarity and conciseness – Some sentences are unnecessarily wordy. Simplify where possible.
  3. Strengthen examples – Use more specific, real-world cases (e.g., famous ad campaigns) to support arguments.
  4. Enhance transitions – Ensure smooth connections between ideas with better linking words.
  5. Expand vocabulary – Use synonyms to avoid repetition (e.g., "marketing," "promotion," "consumers").

Overall, the essay presents a balanced discussion but would benefit from clearer expression, better grammar, and more precise examples. Keep practicing!