Question: In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the h...
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The number of members? of the society who become interested in the history of the ?house or building they live in has significantly increased over the past few decades. In this essay, I will discuss the possible reasons behind this phenomenon and give my own opinion. ?Firstly, it? is vital? that we appreciate the importance of history. With? the great impact of historical events on each? age, more and more people are aware of such influences,?, and they try to find out about the ?history behind different things,?, including the accommodation they live in. In my opinion, one of the significant reasons behind this trend is the exponential impact of social media and movies like The Conjuring? on individuals'? minds?.. Furthermore, nowadays the number of movies with plots? of haunting about haunted houses has increased? markedly,?, and such movies have a great impact on people's? minds?.. As a result,?, people find it ?interesting to develop?conduct research on this. ?Secondly and more importantly, the? popularity of this trend is due to ?the various ways that people can use to learn? about the history of anything. A particularly fascinating example of this is social media. Moreover, the Internet has placed the entire world (and all of the information in it), including our house history, at our fingertips?.. In earlier times, conducting research entailed long hours searching library? shelves. Now, however, the same information can be accessed? at the click of a button. ?By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the impact of social media along with accessibility?access to information makes? people more curious to learn?about the history of the houses or buildings? they live in.
Band Score: 5
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Task Achievement
Addressing the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why people are interested in the history of their homes and how they can research this. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or reasons beyond the influence of social media and movies.
Position and Opinion: The essay mentions the writer's opinion, but it is not clearly articulated or distinct from the general discussion. It would be beneficial to explicitly state your opinion in a separate sentence or paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Structure and Organization: The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the influence of movies to the availability of information online is abrupt.
Linking Words: There are some linking words used (e.g., "Firstly," "Secondly"), but they are not always used effectively. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary: The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some awkward phrases and word choices (e.g., "the number of members? of the society," "exponential impact"). Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to convey your ideas more clearly.
Spelling and Word Form: There are a few instances of incorrect word forms or unnecessary punctuation (e.g., "people's? minds?"). Ensure that punctuation is used correctly and consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence Structure: The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but some sentences are awkwardly constructed or contain errors (e.g., "With? the great impact of historical events on each? age").
Grammar: There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect use of articles (e.g., "the ?house or building"). Pay attention to these details to improve grammatical accuracy.
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify Your Opinion: Clearly state your opinion in a separate sentence or paragraph to make it distinct from the general discussion.
Expand on Reasons: Provide more specific reasons and examples for why people are interested in the history of their homes, such as cultural heritage or personal curiosity.
Improve Cohesion: Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
Enhance Vocabulary: Use more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
Check Grammar and Punctuation: Review your essay for grammatical errors and ensure that punctuation is used correctly. Consider using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from others to identify and correct errors.