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Question: It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
Saving money for the future is notably essential for everyone, such as especially young generations. I totally agree with this viewpoint and I will explain this debate in more detail. To begin with, it is significantly beneficial for individuals to save money for their future. Firstly, by saving money they could have achieve financial stability, which allowing people to have peace of mind. In other words, if people save their money for the future, they will reduce stress levels about unexpected situations whichthat might happen in their lifelives. Secondly, the more people save their earnings, the more secure they wouldwill become. For example, it is often said that younger people should save some amount of money in their bank accounts, which by so that in the next five years, they will have had gradually accumulated a lot of money. Moreover, investing money in some financial projects will lead to reachachieving future goals. For example, in many companies, people invest their wages forin bigger projectprojects in order to harvestgenerate a lotlarge amount of money in the future. Additionally, if individuals learn to save their money, specifically especially young people, they would have financial independence, which contributes to having financial freedom. Furthermore, saving money for the future is by far the best way for havingto ensure a better retirement. For example, money will be required in individuals’ 70s,; thus, having a bank account with a lotsubstantial amount of money, which was saved from adulthood, plays a crucial role in people’s lifelives. In conclusion, although it is really important for people to spend their money, saving some amountportion of their salaries could be beneficial. People would reachachieve stability in terms of financialfinances and security, and also reducing stress levellevels leads to havehaving peace of mind. Younger generations could reachachieve future goals and independencyindependence in life.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Saving money for the future is notably essential for everyone such as young generations. I totally agree with this viewpoint and I will explain this debate in more detail.
Saving money for the future is essential for everyone, particularly for younger generations. I completely agree with this viewpoint, and I will elaborate on this topic in more detail.
To begin with, it is significantly beneficial for individuals to save money for their future. Firstly, by saving money they could have achieve financial stability which allowing people to have peace of mind. In other words, if people save their money for the future, they will reduce stress levels about unexpected situations which might happen in their life. Secondly, the more people save their earnings, the more secure they would become. For example, it is often said that younger people should save some amount of money in their bank accounts which by the next five years, they will have had gradually a lot of money.
To begin with, saving money is significantly beneficial for individuals. Firstly, by saving money, they can achieve financial stability, which allows people to have peace of mind. In other words, if individuals save for the future, they can reduce stress levels associated with unexpected situations that may arise in their lives. Secondly, the more people save from their earnings, the more secure they become. For example, it is often advised that younger people save a portion of their income in their bank accounts, so that in five years, they will have accumulated a substantial amount of money.
Moreover, investing money in some financial projects will lead to reach future goals. For example, in many companies, people invest their wages for bigger project in order to harvest a lot amount of money in the future. Additionally, if individuals learn to save their money specifically young people, they would have financial independence which contributes to having financial freedom. Furthermore, saving money for the future is by far the best way for having a better retirement. For example, money will be required in individuals’ 70s, thus, having a bank account with a lot of money, which was saved from adulthood, plays a crucial role in people’s life.
Moreover, investing money in financial projects can help individuals reach their future goals. For instance, many employees invest their wages in larger projects to generate significant returns in the future. Additionally, if individuals, especially young people, learn to save their money, they can achieve financial independence, which contributes to overall financial freedom. Furthermore, saving money for the future is undoubtedly the best way to ensure a comfortable retirement. For example, individuals will need funds in their 70s, and having a bank account with substantial savings accumulated from their working years plays a crucial role in their lives.
In conclusion, although it is really important for people to spend their money, saving some amount of their salaries could be beneficial. People would reach stability in terms of financial and security, and also reducing stress level leads to have peace of mind. Younger generations could reach future goals and independency in life.
In conclusion, while it is important for people to spend their money, saving a portion of their salaries can be highly beneficial. Individuals can achieve financial stability and security, and reducing stress levels leads to greater peace of mind. Younger generations can attain their future goals and independence in life through prudent saving practices.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
average
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing the importance of saving money for the future, particularly for young people. The writer clearly agrees with the statement and provides reasons to support this viewpoint.
  • Examples and Explanation: The essay includes relevant examples, such as saving for financial stability and investing in financial projects. However, the examples could be more specific and detailed to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Structure and Organization: The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, contributing to the overall coherence.
  • Use of Linking Words: The use of linking words and phrases such as "To begin with," "Moreover," and "In conclusion" helps in guiding the reader through the argument. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "financial stability," "peace of mind," and "financial independence." However, there are some awkward phrases, such as "harvest a lot amount of money," which could be improved for clarity.
  • Word Choice: Some word choices are slightly off, such as "a lot amount of money," which should be "a large amount of money."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the readability. However, there are some grammatical errors, such as "could have achieve" (should be "could achieve") and "allowing people to have peace of mind" (should be "which allows people to have peace of mind").
  • Tense and Agreement: There are occasional issues with verb tense and subject-verb agreement, which need attention.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Provide More Specific Examples: Enhance the argument by including more detailed and specific examples to illustrate the points made.
  2. Improve Transitions: Work on making transitions between ideas smoother to enhance the flow of the essay.
  3. Refine Vocabulary and Phrasing: Pay attention to word choice and phrasing to ensure clarity and precision.
  4. Address Grammatical Errors: Review and correct grammatical errors, particularly in verb tense and agreement, to improve accuracy.

Overall, the essay presents a clear argument in favor of saving money for the future, with a logical structure and relevant points. With some refinements in language and examples, the response could be even more compelling.