Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...
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There is an opposing view on whether the people who have studied certain fields, including medicine and engineering, should occupywork in the country where they have trained or they should be free to work where ever whereverthey desire. This essay will examine both perspectives, and explain why I strongly agree with the latter viewpoint.
To begin with, a number of people argue that authorities should ask specialists such as doctors and engineers to stay in the nation where they have persued pursuedtheir educationseducation, as they think not only a large number of facilities, but also a huge amount of budget havehas been dedicated to them. As a result, these professionals have to stay and serve the residents of that country. Furthermore, it is believed that the contentscontent and lessons which are toughttaught in other regions, will not be practical in their own country. For example, several countries, ,namely the USA and Canada, do not accept educational contents ofcontent from other nations, since those trainings are not up-to-date and there are some differences in the curriculum of various educatianaleducational systems.
On the other hand, a vast majority of individuals believe that people should not be limited to workworking in specific areas. Although countries usually provide the high-quality education for qualified people, students often pay for thatit. In addition, sometimes, these educated people find that country an inappropriate areaplace to make a living. ThereforTherefore, they might prefer to go overseas in order to find better opportunities. For instance, many peopelpeople in Iran tend to migrate to other countries to achieve both job perks and pay parity in payment.
In conclusion, while many think specialists have to stay in the place of their univesitiesuniversities, becuasebecause the goverment offerdgovernment offered some facilities to them, others, minemyself included, believe it is not fair, because the professionals have the right to choose their own occupationalcareer paths.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both views and presents your opinion, which meets the task requirements. However, the argument could be more balanced. The first viewpoint (professionals should stay in their home country) is explained, but the supporting examples (USA and Canada not accepting foreign education) are not entirely convincing or well-developed.
Your opinion is clear, but the reasoning could be strengthened with more specific examples or data to support why professionals should have the freedom to work abroad.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less natural (e.g., "the people who have studied certain fields, including medicine and engineering, should occupy in the country"). Rephrasing for clarity would help.
The conclusion restates your position but could summarize the key arguments more effectively.
Lexical Resource
There are some spelling and word choice errors (e.g., "persued" instead of "pursued," "tought" instead of "taught," "peopel" instead of "people"). Proofreading would help.
Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "a number of people argue" and "a vast majority of individuals believe"). Varying your vocabulary would improve lexical range.
Some expressions are unnatural (e.g., "occupy in the country" should be "work in the country").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors:
"should occupy in the country" → "should work in the country"
"the contents and lessons which are tought in other regions" → "the content and lessons taught in other regions"
"the goverment offerd some facilities" → "the government offered certain facilities"
Some sentences are overly complex and could be simplified for clarity.
Subject-verb agreement and article usage need attention (e.g., "a huge amount of budget have been dedicated" → "a huge amount of budget has been dedicated").
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify and refine arguments – Provide stronger examples for both sides (e.g., brain drain vs. benefits of global mobility).