Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...
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Some people argue that professionals should be work in the countries where they have been trained, while others group believe that they should be free to move to any destination they want. This essay will examine both these views.
Professionals such as doctors and engineers have to train longfor many years, that is required to which requires theuse of educational facilities and human resources of a country. Consequently, providing these facilities areis the government's responsibility. Governments considerallocate plenty of resources to provide some conditions tofor study with the assumption of havehaving a professional labor sourcesforce in the future. For instance, doctors have to take long theory and practical courses to become a doctor. In this case, they use of hospitals and their medical equipment which belong to the government. Current professionals will be retired retireand new professionals who have been trained will replace with them.
On the other hand, some people argue that professionals should be free to choose which country they want to work and live in. Professional life inis one aspect of life and should not effect onaffect the whole life. They can immigrate, according to their preferences or their goals. Because some countrycountries do not prepareprovide sufficient situationsconditions for these professionals after graduating to encourage them to stay where they had been weretrained. These encouragements can be like reductionreduced taxes for them or giving some benefits like simplify some simplifiedlabor lowslaws for them to run their business.
In conclusion, although the process of becomebecoming a professional has a huge expenditures for governments, I firmly believe these people should be free to work in another country if they wish. Encouraging them to stay with considerby considering some benefits will be useful, but I disagree with any force foragainst them.
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Feedback on Your Essay
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a clear opinion, which is good. However, some points could be developed further for better clarity and depth.
The introduction is clear but could be more engaging. The thesis statement could be more precise in outlining the discussion.
Some arguments lack strong supporting examples or elaboration. For instance, the point about governments investing in professionals could be strengthened with specific data or real-world examples.
The conclusion restates your opinion but could summarize the key points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Phrases like "On the other hand" help, but some sentences feel abrupt.
Paragraphing is generally good, but the second body paragraph is quite long and could be split for better readability.
Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, making the flow less natural (e.g., "that is required to use of educational facilities").
Lexical Resource
There are some unnatural word choices and grammatical errors (e.g., "have to train long years," "effect on whole life").
Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "professionals" is overused; synonyms like "experts" or "specialists" could help).
A few collocations are incorrect (e.g., "huge expenditures" should be "significant costs" or "substantial expenses").
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, including:
Subject-verb agreement issues ("some people argue that professionals should be work").
Incorrect prepositions ("use of hospitals" → "use hospitals").
Missing articles ("the process of become professional" → "the process of becoming a professional").
Tense inconsistencies ("have been trained" vs. "had been trained").
Sentence structure is sometimes unclear (e.g., "with assumption of have a professional labor sources").
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify and Expand Ideas – Provide more detailed examples (e.g., how much governments invest in training doctors).
Improve Grammar & Word Choice – Review subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions. Use synonyms to avoid repetition.
Enhance Cohesion – Use more linking words (e.g., "Furthermore," "Moreover") to connect ideas smoothly.
Proofread Carefully – Some errors seem like typos (e.g., "effect" instead of "affect").
Overall, your essay presents a balanced discussion, but refining grammar, vocabulary, and clarity will strengthen it significantly. Keep practicing!