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Question: Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages...

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It is believed by some people that music is a universal tongue and can closebring together the hearts of people with various culturecultures and ages together. I completely agree with this opinion on the basis of music events and the natural roots of music in humans. Firstly, music attracts anyall individuals and when it comes to music, it reminds us of concerts, tours, parties, and any other gatherings. People can have conflicts, arguments, competitions, and even warwars might happen between several countries, but music is a point thatwhere people put aside their conflicts and enjoy the positive atmosphere that music has brought brings for them. Additionally, the amount of joy from listening to music will be multifold when people gather inat a concert as peoplethey can transfershare their joys towith each other. For example, the biggest music tour has been held by the famous American singer, Taylor Swift, with more than 100 thousands of thousand people from different culturecultures, values, and languages. So, music is a universal language drawing people to have a great time together regardless of their opinions, conflicts, races, languages, and different values. Secondly, music has roots in thehuman nature of humans. Nobody can deny the positive effects of music on thehuman emotions of humans as music is the sound of nature and impacts anybodyeveryone, regardless of their race, opinions, and culture. Music has been developed in different forms of human’s sentiments; all thehuman emotions of human such as happiness, sadness, empathy, longing, desire, love, and so on, are found in music. So, music has a lot of thing to say, and there are billions of people who love to hear themit out there. In conclusion, I personally believe music has risenarisen from human nature of human, and is a kind of an art that is more enjoyable to experience it with other people as peoplethey share their feelings there, so music is definitely a good way to closebring and gather people together.
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It is believed by some people that music is a universal tongue and can close the hearts of people with various culture and ages together. I completely agree with this opinion on the basis of music events and natural roots of music in humans.
It is widely believed that music serves as a universal language, capable of uniting people across different cultures and age groups. I wholeheartedly agree with this perspective, as evidenced by large-scale music events and the innate human connection to music.
Firstly, music attracts any individuals and when it comes music, it reminds concerts, tours, parties, and any other gatherings. People can have conflicts, arguments, competitions, and even war might happen between several countries, but music is a point that people put aside their conflicts and enjoy the positive atmosphere that music has brought for them. Additionally, the amount of joy from listening to music will be multifold when people gather in a concert as people can transfer their joys to each other. For example, the biggest music tour has been held by the famous American singer, Taylor Swift, with more than 100 thousands of people from different culture, values and languages. So, music is a universal language drawing people to have a great time together regardless of their opinions, conflicts, races, languages, and different values.
Firstly, music has a unique ability to attract individuals, often bringing to mind concerts, festivals, and other social gatherings. Despite existing conflicts, rivalries, or even wars between nations, music provides a common ground where people set aside their differences and immerse themselves in a shared positive experience. The joy of music is amplified in group settings, such as concerts, where collective enthusiasm creates a powerful emotional exchange. For instance, Taylor Swift’s record-breaking world tour attracted over 100,000 attendees from diverse cultural, linguistic, and ideological backgrounds, demonstrating how music transcends barriers and fosters unity.
Secondly, music has roots in the nature of humans. Nobody can deny the positive effects of music on the emotions of humans as music is the sound of nature and impacts anybody, regardless of their race, opinions and culture. Music has been developed in different forms of human’s sentiments; all the emotions of human such as happiness, sadness, empathy, longing, desire, love and so on , are found in music. So, music has a lot of thing to say, and there are billions of people love to hear them out there.
Secondly, music is deeply rooted in human nature. Its profound impact on emotions is undeniable, as it resonates with people regardless of their race, beliefs, or cultural background. Music has evolved to express the full spectrum of human emotions—joy, sorrow, love, longing, and more—making it a powerful medium of communication. Billions of people worldwide connect with music because it speaks to universal experiences and feelings.
In conclusion, I personally believe music has risen from nature of human, and is a kind of an art that is more enjoyable to experience it with other people as people share their feelings there, so music is definitely a good way to close and gather people together.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that music originates from human nature and serves as an art form best enjoyed collectively. By enabling people to share emotions and experiences, music undoubtedly brings individuals closer together, reinforcing its role as a unifying force in society.
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Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
average
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your response fully addresses the prompt, presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant arguments.
  • The examples you provided (Taylor Swift’s concert) are effective in illustrating how music unites people.
  • However, some points could be more developed. For instance, the idea that music has "roots in the nature of humans" is interesting but could be explained more clearly with additional examples or reasoning.
  • Avoid minor inaccuracies (e.g., "100 thousands" should be "100,000").

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphing (introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion).
  • Some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for better readability (e.g., the second sentence in the first body paragraph).
  • Transition words (e.g., "Firstly," "Secondly," "In conclusion") help guide the reader, but more varied linking phrases could improve flow.

Lexical Resource

  • You use a good range of vocabulary (e.g., "universal tongue," "multifold," "sentiments").
  • Some word choices are slightly unnatural (e.g., "close the hearts of people" could be "bring people together").
  • Minor grammatical errors affect precision (e.g., "music has a lot of thing to say" should be "music has a lot to say").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ("the amount of joy... will be multifold" could be "the joy... multiplies"), article misuse ("a kind of an art" should be "a kind of art"), and awkward phrasing ("music has risen from nature of human" could be "music stems from human nature").
  • Work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences (e.g., the last sentence of the first body paragraph is too long).

Suggestions for Improvement

  • Clarify and refine ideas—Some concepts (e.g., music’s "natural roots") need clearer explanations.
  • Shorten and simplify sentences—Break down complex sentences for better readability.
  • Proofread for grammar and word choice—Review articles, prepositions, and phrasing to improve accuracy.
  • Use more varied transitions—Instead of just "Firstly," "Secondly," try phrases like "Another key aspect" or "Furthermore."

Overall, your essay presents a strong argument but would benefit from improved clarity, grammar, and sentence structure. Keep practicing!