Question: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in...

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It has been seen that, most of the businesses after launching a new product, will emphasise on their innovations in order to prove the difference between their brand new product and other similar existedexisting ones in the market in their advertisementadvertisements. In this essay I will outline the reasons offor this behaviorbehaviour and my perspective abouton this positive development. To begin with, the main purpose of the advertising industry is representingto represent any new product in a creative way to show its differences, superiorities, high quality, and its innovation. Moreover, it is crucial to picturepresent a new product’s functions very impressiveimpressively for audiences duein order to encourage them to choose the advertised brand over other current brands in the market. AdvertisementAdvertisements must always make individuals feel that their decisions are more logical by not only bringingproviding various impressive reasons, but also by evoking their emotions. For instance, every new cellphone’s advertisement contains many visual aspects which convincedconvince individuals to purchase thatit immediately. Highlighting the novelty of any newnewly launched product is a positive attitudeapproach in the advertisement industry. Firstly, every new product is based on human’s need needs to solve a problem or make life easier. Secondly, todaystoday’s products always have environmental concerns such as sustainability, recycling, reducing carbon emissions, and, decreasing energy usage. For example, new brand automobiles emphasizing on emphasise the current vehicle’s pollutionspollution and try to promote themselves as environmental-environmentally friendly cars. In conclusion, the main point of advertising is presenting any product creatively and differently in order to persuade people purchasingto purchase it, however. However, the best commercial for a product is its quality and its superiority over other current sampleexamples.
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Overall Band Score
6
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
weak
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on Your Essay

Task Achievement

  • Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position on why businesses emphasize newness in their products, as well as your view that this is a positive development.
  • The examples provided (cellphones and automobiles) help support your argument, but they could be more detailed or specific to strengthen your points.
  • The conclusion restates your position but could be more developed—try to summarize the key reasons more clearly rather than introducing a new idea (e.g., "the best commercial for a product is its quality").

Coherence and Cohesion

  • The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
  • The first body paragraph is well-structured, but the second one could be more clearly linked to the first (e.g., "Another reason why this is positive is...").
  • Some sentences are overly long or awkwardly phrased (e.g., "It has seen that, most of the businesses after launching a new product, will emphasise on their innovations..."). Breaking them into shorter, clearer sentences would improve readability.

Lexical Resource

  • You use a range of vocabulary (e.g., "superiorities," "evoking emotions," "environmental concerns"), but some word choices are unnatural or incorrect (e.g., "existed ones" → "existing ones," "positive attitude in advertisement industry" → "positive trend in advertising").
  • Avoid minor errors like "It has seen that" (should be "It is seen that" or "It has been observed that").
  • Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "new product" appears frequently—try synonyms like "latest," "recently launched," or "innovative").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • There are several grammatical errors, including:
    • Subject-verb agreement ("businesses... will emphasise" → "businesses... emphasise").
    • Article misuse ("in advertisement industry" → "in the advertising industry").
    • Incorrect prepositions ("emphasise on" → "emphasise").
    • Awkward phrasing ("their decisions are more logical by not only bringing various impressive reasons" → "their decisions are logical by providing compelling reasons").
  • Work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences (e.g., "Advertisement must always make individuals feel that their decisions are more logical by not only bringing various impressive reasons, but also by evoking their emotions").

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Clarify your introduction – The first sentence is grammatically incorrect. Try: "Nowadays, businesses often highlight the novelty of their products in advertisements to differentiate them from existing competitors."
  2. Improve transitions – Use linking words like Furthermore, Additionally, Consequently to connect ideas smoothly.
  3. Refine word choice – Avoid awkward phrasing (e.g., "positive attitude in advertisement industry" → "positive trend in advertising").
  4. Proofread for grammar – Review subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions.
  5. Strengthen examples – Instead of just mentioning "cellphones" and "automobiles," provide a specific brand or model to make your argument more convincing.

Overall, your essay presents a clear argument but would benefit from improved grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure. Keep practicing!