Question: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory j...
Task Achievement:
The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the response lacks clarity and coherence in presenting the arguments. The ideas are not well-developed, and the examples provided are vague or unclear. The conclusion is somewhat confusing and does not effectively summarize the discussion. To improve, focus on structuring the essay with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and a more precise conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion:
The essay struggles with logical flow and organization. Sentences and ideas are often disjointed, making it difficult to follow the argument. Transition words and phrases are either missing or used incorrectly, which affects the overall coherence. Work on using cohesive devices (e.g., "On the other hand," "In contrast," "Furthermore") to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, paragraphs should be better structured—each should focus on a single main idea with supporting points.
Lexical Resource:
The vocabulary is often imprecise or awkwardly phrased, which detracts from clarity. There are several instances of incorrect word choice (e.g., "average world," "big denial," "unfavorable things"). Some sentences are overly wordy or unclear (e.g., "The other group do not persuade and try to solve the problem"). To improve, use more natural and accurate vocabulary. Avoid repetitive phrasing and aim for variety in word choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ("These person have"), incorrect verb tenses ("do not aspect bad thing"), and awkward sentence structures ("In this essay I want argue about both thinking line"). These errors make the essay difficult to understand. Focus on improving sentence structure, verb forms, and article usage. Proofreading for basic grammar mistakes would significantly enhance clarity.
The essay shows an attempt to engage with the topic, but refining these areas will significantly improve its quality.