Question: Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which cause many h...
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
As everyone knows, sugary products have numerous fans throughout the world, and they are becoming more and more popular nowadays. A high amount of sugar exists in our daily diets due to consuming foods that are prepared by food companies. Many experts warn about the serious consequences of consuming these products. Doctors say they can cause health problems such as blood pressure issues and being overweight. So it would be better if we reduced sugar consumption in our lives.
To begin with, some approaches can be taken to reduce sugar consumption. However, some people believe that sugary product prices should be increased to reduce their consumption. It is a possible way to control sugar consumption. But, in my opinion, increasing the prices of food products has two main drawbacks. First, buying them will not be as convenient as in the past, and apart from that, it can cause economic issues for local communities.
So, I reckon that there are other practical approaches that can be taken to solve this problem. For example, if governments make special rules on food production, then it would be possible to reduce the amount of sugar in foods. On the other hand, if authorities monitor the food manufacturers, then there will be no need to increase the prices to reduce sugar consumption. For instance, in many European countries, some special rules exist to control this problem.
In conclusion, there are some ways to overcome this problem. Though many people believe that by increasing the price of the products we can control the consumption, I disagree with this approach. There are other measures that can be taken to address this problem, like making new rules or monitoring companies by local governments.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
As everyone knows, sugary products have numerous fans throughout the world, and they are becoming more and more popular nowadays. A high amount of sugar exists in our daily diets due to consuming foods that are prepared by food companies. Many experts warn about the serious consequences of consuming these products. Doctors say they can cause health problems such as blood pressure issues and being overweight. So it would be better if we reduced sugar consumption in our lives.
To begin with, some approaches can be taken to reduce sugar consumption. However, some people believe that sugary product prices should be increased to reduce their consumption. It is a possible way to control sugar consumption. But, in my opinion, increasing the prices of food products has two main drawbacks. First, buying them will not be as convenient as in the past, and apart from that, it can cause economic issues for local communities.
So, I reckon that there are other practical approaches that can be taken to solve this problem. For example, if governments make special rules on food production, then it would be possible to reduce the amount of sugar in foods. On the other hand, if authorities monitor the food manufacturers, then there will be no need to increase the prices to reduce sugar consumption. For instance, in many European countries, some special rules exist to control this problem.
In conclusion, there are some ways to overcome this problem. Though many people believe that by increasing the price of the products we can control the consumption, I disagree with this approach. There are other measures that can be taken to address this problem, like making new rules or monitoring companies by local governments.