Question: The use of phones, tablets, and other devices when people are walking in public is causing...
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As hand-held devices become almost universal in our society, the number of accidents related
to their use is increasing accordingly, in addition to various social dangers. I will outline two such
risks, and also two possible counter-measures we could take.
Firstly, the greatest danger is surely the possibility of people failing to pay attention to their
surroundings when they use such items while walking along pavements, public areas and streets. By
diverting all their attention (both visual and in most cases mental) onto their device, the users may
bump into other people, fall over uneven surfaces or even step into traffic lanes, with potentially fatal
results. A number of deaths among teenagers in the UK, for example, isare attributable to this cause each
year. A second problem must be the rather anti-social nature of people focussing all their thoughts on
a device, to the exclusion of others around them, who may need help or guidance as much as basic
courtesy. The increasingly impolite atmosphere in many public spaces may well be connected to this
phenomenon.
Turning to possible solutions, it would be helpful to see a joint initiative between the
authorities and mobile phone producers to raise public awareness of these risks. Such a programme
could take many forms, ranging from advertising to dedicated classes in schools and colleges, and
could be aimed at both the problem of accidents and the unsociable nature of excessive device usage,
which would make it very cost-effective. A further solution may be to install warning mechanisms on
these devices, which detect when traffic or obstacles are nearby, so that the user does not walk
blindly into danger. Such systems already exist in cars to alert drivers to impending trouble or the
need to change direction.
Overall, the dangers in this situation are both physical and social. Potential remedies may
involve better education, and also enhanced danger detection along the lines already used
successfully in motor vehicles.
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.
This is a strong, well-structured response that fully addresses both parts of the prompt. Task Achievement is excellent: you identify clear physical and social dangers with relevant examples (UK teenagers, car safety parallels) and propose two distinct, developed solutions (education/awareness and technological alerts). Coherence and Cohesion is logical, using effective paragraphing and signposting ("Firstly," "Turning to possible solutions," "A further solution"). Lexical Resource shows precision ("diverting attention," "anti-social nature," "cost-effective," "impending trouble"). Grammatical Range and Accuracy is high, featuring complex sentences, passive forms, and relative clauses with minimal error.
Key improvements:
Grammar/Number Agreement: "A number of deaths... are attributable" (plural verb needed after "A number of").
Spelling/Consistency: Use "focusing" (one 's') for standard international English; "focussing" is a less common variant.
Articles: "install warning mechanisms" (plural generic) or "a warning mechanism" reads more naturally than "install warning mechanisms on these devices" without an article/determiner.
Development: The "social danger" argument (impoliteness) is slightly under-developed compared to the physical risks; a concrete example (e.g., ignoring someone needing help) would strengthen it.