Balang
  • Home
  • Speaking
  • Blog
lemon logo
Balang is committed to revolutionizing language learning, empowering individuals worldwide to achieve their aspirations through innovative technology and personalized education.
Terms of ServicePrivacy PolicyRefund Policy
Contact
Email
telegram logo
Telegram

Question: In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard ...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In some cultural backgrounds, children believe that if they make an effort hardly adequate, they can earn their longings. Despite the fact that there are several benefits in hard working for individuals who are adults, there are some negative effectiveness for children. On the one hand, in order to make a case for advantages of attempting hardly, it is needless to say, not only can hard trying gain personal knowledge, but also it can make stronger adults. Moreover, it remarkable that stronger men are more successful parents. For instance, a man who has been graduated from Harvard university and learnt aroma of courses can lead his children to have better future. Additionally, not only do families need a good leader, but also society needs tough leader. The more stronger leader we have, the more successful society we have. For a perfect example, there are many big leaders are mentioned in the world's history such as: Abraham Lincoln in the US and Darius the great in Iran. As a side note, with the aim of have a good lifestyle, we need to have discipline and the key factor of discipline is to try hardly. On the other hand, in term of drawbacks of hard trying in childhood. It might have crucial damage for eigther children' body or mental health. Fruthermore, play games and make fun in are to assess the significatnce of chidhood for everybody. Nevertheless, hard trying keeps them away from this basic need. For example, I had made an effort so hard on my education or work in my childhood, he would have had issues with making friends. In conclusion, the belief of young generatons in some nations is that obtaining everything needs to attempt strongly sufficient has more pros than cons.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
In some cultural backgrounds, children believe that if they make an effort hardly adequate, they can earn their longings. Despite the fact that there are several benefits in hard working for individuals who are adults, there are some negative effectiveness for children. On the one hand, in order to make a case for advantages of attempting hardly, it is needless to say, not only can hard trying gain personal knowledge, but also it can make stronger adults. Moreover, it remarkable that stronger men are more successful parents. For instance, a man who has been graduated from Harvard university and learnt aroma of courses can lead his children to have better future. Additionally, not only do families need a good leader, but also society needs tough leader. The more stronger leader we have, the more successful society we have. For a perfect example, there are many big leaders are mentioned in the world's history such as: Abraham Lincoln in the US and Darius the great in Iran. As a side note, with the aim of have a good lifestyle, we need to have discipline and the key factor of discipline is to try hardly. On the other hand, in term of drawbacks of hard trying in childhood. It might have crucial damage for eigther children' body or mental health. Fruthermore, play games and make fun in are to assess the significatnce of chidhood for everybody. Nevertheless, hard trying keeps them away from this basic need. For example, I had made an effort so hard on my education or work in my childhood, he would have had issues with making friends. In conclusion, the belief of young generatons in some nations is that obtaining everything needs to attempt strongly sufficient has more pros than cons.
See more samples for this topic
Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
...
Overview
Vocabulary Range
Loading
Linking Words
Loading
Spelling
Loading
Grammar Accuracy
Loading
Grammar Range
Loading
Cohesion
Loading
Paragraph Structure
Loading
Task Response
Loading
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.