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Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
At the present time, customers living in many countries can go to stores in order to provideobtain their food since it offersthey offer goods from all parts of the world. I think this development is completely positive for both food producers and customers, which will be discussed in the following essay. When foods from different places are sold in supermarkets, consumers access varieda variety of foods. When customers find foods manufactured in different places accessibleavailable, they have the chance to become familiar with different goods all over the world, so they have many options for supplying food for their families. In other words, if there were no specific shops for purchasing a varied range of foods, people would not be able to taste international foods. For instance, supermarkets have given the chance to people to taste Dutch Cheesecheese, which is popular among many people all over the world. Thus, supermarkets have important roles forin the promotion of international cuisines. Furthermore, producers of foodsfood can make more money if their products are sold in supermarkets. When individuals who live in different countries have access to supermarkets whichthat offer foods from different nations, it is probable for these communities to increase their income. This is because when their foods are internationally purchased, the quantity of their orders increases, so more products offrom different countries will be bought, which leads to an increase in their income. For example, Indian Ricerice, which is manufactured hugelyproduced in large quantities, is exported to different countries, including Iran and Afghanistan, in order to be sold in supermarkets in these countries. As a consequence, more Indian farmers can make profits. Hence, supermarkets help food manufacturermanufacturers supplement their income. In conclusion, these days, foods produced from different areas of the world have become accessible in supermarkets. My firm conviction is that this trend is beneficial to both customers and food manufacturers of foods because the former group faces a more diverse range of choices in foods, and the laterlatter group has the chance to increase their profits.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
At the present time, customers living in many countries can go to stores in order to provide their food since it offers goods from all parts of the world. I think this development is completely positive for both food producers and customers, which will be discussed in the following essay.
At present, customers living in many countries can visit stores to purchase food, as these establishments offer goods from all parts of the world. I believe this development is entirely positive for both food producers and consumers, which will be discussed in the following essay.
When foods from different places are sold in supermarkets, consumers access varied foods. When customers find foods manufactured in different places accessible, they have the chance to become familiar with different goods all over the world, so they have many options for supplying food for their families. In other words, if there were no specific shops for purchasing a varied range of foods, people would not be able to taste international foods. For instance, supermarkets have given the chance to people to taste Dutch Cheese, which is popular among many people all over the world. Thus, supermarkets have important roles for promotion of international cuisines.
When foods from different regions are sold in supermarkets, consumers gain access to a diverse array of products. With the availability of foods manufactured in various locations, customers have the opportunity to become familiar with international goods, providing them with numerous options for supplying food for their families. In other words, if there were no specialized shops offering a wide range of foods, people would miss the chance to experience international cuisines. For instance, supermarkets have enabled people to taste Dutch cheese, which is popular among many around the globe. Thus, supermarkets play a crucial role in promoting international cuisines.
Furthermore, producers of foods can make more money if their products are sold in supermarkets. When individuals who live in different countries have access to supermarkets which offer foods from different nations, it is probable for these communities to increase their income. This is because when their foods are internationally purchased, the quantity of their orders increases, so more products of different countries will be bought, which leads to an increase in their income. For example, Indian Rice, which is manufactured hugely, is exported to different countries, including Iran and Afghanistan, in order to be sold in supermarkets in these countries. As a consequence, more Indian farmers can make profits. Hence, supermarkets help food manufacturer supplement their income.
Furthermore, food producers can increase their profits when their products are sold in supermarkets. When individuals in different countries have access to supermarkets that offer foods from various nations, it is likely that these communities will see an increase in their income. This is because when their products are purchased internationally, the volume of orders rises, leading to greater sales of goods from different countries, which ultimately boosts their income. For example, Indian rice, which is produced in large quantities, is exported to various countries, including Iran and Afghanistan, to be sold in supermarkets. As a result, more Indian farmers can benefit financially. Hence, supermarkets assist food manufacturers in supplementing their income.
In conclusion, these days, foods produced from different areas of the world have become accessible in supermarkets. My firm conviction is this trend is beneficial to both customers and manufacturers of foods because the former group faces more diverse range of choices in foods, and the later group has the chance to increase their profits.
In conclusion, foods produced in different regions of the world have become increasingly accessible in supermarkets. I firmly believe that this trend is advantageous for both consumers and food manufacturers, as the former group enjoys a more diverse range of food choices, while the latter group has the opportunity to enhance their profits.
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Overall Band Score
7
Overview
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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the positive aspects of having access to international foods in supermarkets. It clearly states the writer's opinion that this is a positive development.
  • Development of Ideas: The essay provides clear reasons and examples to support the opinion. The examples of Dutch cheese and Indian rice are relevant and help illustrate the points made.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports the overall argument.
  • Cohesion: The use of linking words and phrases such as "when," "in other words," "for instance," and "hence" helps to connect ideas smoothly. However, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph could be more fluid.

Lexical Resource

  • Range of Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "varied foods," "international cuisines," "promotion," "manufactured," and "exported."
  • Accuracy: The vocabulary is used accurately throughout the essay. There are no noticeable errors in word choice.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structures: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, which enhances readability.
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are minor grammatical errors, such as "supermarkets help food manufacturer supplement their income," which should be "manufacturers." Additionally, the phrase "the later group" should be "the latter group." These errors do not significantly impede understanding but should be corrected for precision.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Introduction: Consider rephrasing the introduction to make the transition to the main body smoother. For example, "In today's globalized world, consumers in many countries have the opportunity to purchase food from around the globe in their local supermarkets. This essay will discuss why this development is beneficial for both consumers and producers."

  2. Grammar and Punctuation: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Proofreading can help catch these minor errors.

  3. Conclusion: The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, but it could be strengthened by reiterating the broader implications of this trend, such as cultural exchange and economic globalization.

Overall, the essay is well-written and effectively communicates the writer's viewpoint with relevant examples and clear reasoning. With minor adjustments, it could be even more compelling.