Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...
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There is a truth that, in today's world, people in all over the world have easy and instant access to purchase various types of food. In my opinion, although this trend can be highly beneficial for people, it also has its drawbacks.
There are some reasons why easilyeasy access to food productionsproduction has benefits.Firstly, it offers greater variety and choices for consumers, whichwho are able to purchase a broader range of products from different cultures and cuisines. Secondly, foods that are seasonal in one part of the world can be available through the other parts of the world due to globalization and improvements in transportation. For example, in Iran, date is dates are a food which growthat grows in warm locations in the southestsoutheastern part of this country, although it isthey are easily accessableaccessible for norththe northern part of Iran. Moreover, exporting foods, especially certain rare crops, can have benefits viaby providing income, jobs, and in economiceconomic growth. Finally, with a larger selection of imported foods, prices may drop as a result of competotioncompetition between companies, which is profitable for people.
Some people may think it has some demerits. For instance, shipping food globally can leadslead to a larger carbon footprint due to transportation, which contributecontributes to climate change. Additionally, easy access to foreign food may decrease interest in traditional, local foods, and impact on cultural heritage. Furthermore, dependency on international food sources could make countries vulnerable, if global chains are destroyeddisrupted, as seen during pandemics.
In conclusion, nawadaysnowadays, people have easy access to foodsfood, which, in my opinion, its has positive effects is weight than that outweighnegative effects.
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Task Achievement
Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of having access to a global variety of foods in supermarkets. However, the conclusion could be more explicit in stating whether the development is overall positive or negative, as the final sentence is somewhat unclear.
Examples and Support: The essay provides examples, such as the availability of dates in Iran, to support the points made. However, more specific examples or data could strengthen the argument further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Structure and Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, using linking words like "on the other hand" or "in contrast" could help in transitioning between the positive and negative aspects.
Logical Flow: The essay generally follows a logical flow, but the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion should clearly restate the main argument.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary: The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as "globalization," "transportation," and "carbon footprint." However, there are some awkward phrases and word choices, such as "easily accessable" which should be "easily accessible."
Word Choice: Some word choices are incorrect or awkward, such as "demerits" which is less commonly used in this context. Consider using "drawbacks" or "disadvantages" instead.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence Structure: The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences, but some sentences are awkwardly constructed or contain grammatical errors. For example, "in today's world people in all over the world" should be "in today's world, people all over the world."
Grammar and Punctuation: There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ("the" before "other parts of world") and incorrect verb forms ("is weight" should be "outweighs"). Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, also affect readability.
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify the Conclusion: Make sure the conclusion clearly states whether the development is positive or negative overall.
Improve Transitions: Use more cohesive devices to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
Enhance Vocabulary: Use more precise vocabulary and avoid awkward phrases.
Check Grammar and Punctuation: Proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.
By addressing these areas, the essay can be more coherent, persuasive, and aligned with the IELTS writing criteria.