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Question: It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To...

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There is a controversial debate about whether the vast majority of people, especially children, ought not to not squander their wealth and they should save their money for their future. I completely agree with this statement and I personally believe that this measurementmeasure will present numerous beneficial impacts on people’s lives. In this essay, I will discuss this statement and eventually give my opinion. There is no doubt that saving money directly leads to significant benefits for people’s lives, especially for children. In fact, withby saving money and spending wisely, people will be able to create more profitable circumstances for themselves in the future. For instance, if they possess enough money, when a company needs to be invested in, people will not lose this prominent opportunity. As a result, by investing in some proper opportunities, they will be able to increase their income. Thus, they will possesslead well-off livelives in the future, especially for the younger generation. Moreover, another significant favorablefavourable aspect of this theory is that in difficult situations, when people require money to become free from a negative predicament such as illness andor accident, they will not requireneed to lend money from others, such as their relatives or friends. Thus, they will be capable of coping with any inevitable tensions. Indeed, in some countrycountries around the world, because of the poor economy, the cost of hiring a house fluctuates significantly,; thus, in on this occasion, it is imperative for tenants to save money to avoid any problems with the owners of the houses. To sum up, there is a statement that most people, including the younger generation, should save their money for their future. I definitely agree with this statement because I believe that it has myriad beneficial effects on people’s lives, especially children. As a result, it makesenables people will be able to cope with negative conditions ofin their lives, such as accidentaccidents, illness, and an increase in the cost of hiring. Furthermore, withby having a significant amount of money in the future, people will be able to invest in some profitable opportunities, which will cause havinglead to a prosperous life.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
There is a controversial debate about whether the vast majority of people, especially children ought to not squander their wealth and they should save their money for their future. I completely agree with this statement and I personally believe that this measurement will present numerous beneficial impacts on people’s lives. In this essay, I will discuss this statement and eventually give my opinion.
There is a controversial debate about whether the vast majority of people, especially children, ought not to squander their wealth and should save their money for the future. I completely agree with this statement and believe that this practice will yield numerous beneficial impacts on people’s lives. In this essay, I will discuss this viewpoint and ultimately provide my opinion.
There is no doubt that saving money directly leads to significant benefits for people’s lives especially for children. In fact, with saving money and spending wisely, people will be able to create more profitable circumstances for themselves in the future. For instance, if they possess enough money, when a company needs to be invested, people will not lose this prominent opportunity. As a result, by investing in some proper opportunities they will be able to increase their income. Thus, they will possess well-off live in the future especially for younger generation.
There is no doubt that saving money directly leads to significant benefits, particularly for children. In fact, by saving money and spending wisely, individuals can create more favorable circumstances for themselves in the future. For instance, if they have sufficient savings, they will not miss out on important investment opportunities when they arise. As a result, by investing in suitable ventures, they can increase their income. Thus, they will be able to lead prosperous lives in the future, especially the younger generation.
Moreover, another significant favorable aspect of this theory is that in difficult situations, when people require money to become free from a negative predicament such as illness and accident, they will not require to lend money from others such as their relatives or friends. Thus, they will be capable of coping any inevitable tensions. Indeed, in some country around the world because of the poor economy, the cost of hiring a house fluctuates significantly, thus in this occasion, it is imperative for tenants to save money to avoid any problems with the owners of the houses.
Moreover, another significant advantage of this practice is that in difficult situations, when individuals require funds to escape negative predicaments such as illness or accidents, they will not need to borrow money from relatives or friends. Consequently, they will be better equipped to handle any inevitable stress. Indeed, in some countries around the world, due to poor economic conditions, the cost of renting a home fluctuates significantly. In such cases, it is imperative for tenants to save money to avoid potential conflicts with landlords.
To sum up, there is a statement that most people, including younger generation should save their money for their future. I definitely agree with this statement because I believe that it has myriad beneficial effects on people’s lives especially children. As a result, it makes people will be able to cope negative conditions of their lives such as accident, illness, an increase in cost of hiring. Furthermore, with having significant amount of money in the future, people will be able to invest in some profitable opportunities, which will cause having prosperous life.
To sum up, I firmly believe that most people, including the younger generation, should save their money for the future. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement because I believe it has myriad beneficial effects on people’s lives, especially for children. As a result, individuals will be better prepared to cope with negative circumstances such as accidents, illnesses, and rising living costs. Furthermore, by having a significant amount of savings in the future, people will be able to invest in profitable opportunities, leading to a prosperous life.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
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Spelling
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Grammar Accuracy
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Grammar Range
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Cohesion
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Task Response
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Word Count
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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating an agreement with the statement that saving money is important for everyone, including young people. The writer provides reasons and examples to support their viewpoint.
  • Development of Ideas: The essay presents two main arguments: the ability to invest in future opportunities and the capacity to handle unforeseen financial difficulties. These points are relevant and well-explained, contributing to a coherent argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, which aids in maintaining a logical flow.
  • Cohesive Devices: The use of cohesive devices such as "for instance," "as a result," and "moreover" helps in linking ideas and paragraphs. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "profitable circumstances," "prominent opportunity," and "inevitable tensions." However, there are occasional awkward phrases, such as "possess well-off live," which should be corrected to "possess a well-off life."
  • Word Choice: Some word choices could be improved for precision and clarity. For example, "measurement" in the introduction could be replaced with "approach" or "practice."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay includes a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the readability. However, there are some grammatical errors, such as "people will be able to cope negative conditions," which should be "cope with negative conditions."
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are minor grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("people require money to become free from a negative predicament") and missing articles ("in some country" should be "in some countries"). Attention to these details would improve the grammatical accuracy.

Overall Impression

The essay effectively argues in favor of saving money for the future, providing relevant examples and maintaining a clear structure. To enhance the response, the writer should focus on refining vocabulary choices, ensuring grammatical accuracy, and improving the smoothness of transitions between ideas. With these improvements, the essay would present a more polished and compelling argument.