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Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In recent times, shoppers in many countries have the option to buy food from all over the world at supermarkets. In my view, while it can sometimes negatively affect local producers and the quality of imported food, overall, the positives are more significant. On the one hand, the availability of global food products in supermarkets can present two major challenges. One problem is that it can reduce the sales of locally produced food and lead to joblessnessjob losses and potential bankruptcy for local producers and farmers as they usually struggle to compete with famouswell-known international brands. Many customers would probably prefer more widely- known brands, viewing them as more reliable, which can greatly reduce the demand for local products. Importing food from other countries can also affect both its freshness and quality. Because of the long distances required for transportation, imported food is usually not as fresh as locally produced options and may include preservatives or additives, which could be harmful to health. Despite these drawbacks, the benefits of having access to a diverse range of global food products cannot be ignored. Firstly, it leads to increased consumer choices and allows them to buy a product based on their preferences, dietary needs, or cultural background. For instance, Iranian immigrants in Europe and North America can purchase ingredients of Iranian cuisinescuisine, such as saffron, from supermarkets, and enjoy cooking traditional local fooddishes. In addition, importing food products from various countries helps international trade and the economy. The exchange of food between countries can create new occupationaljob opportunities, and strengthen their economic relationship. This can also encourage local farmers to stay in the competition and offer higher quality products and more varied options. In conclusion, while the accessibility of global food products in supermarkets around the world is not without drawbacks, I believe we gain more than we lose from this development.
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In recent times, shoppers in many countries have the option to buy food from all over the world at supermarkets. In my view, while it can sometimes negatively affect local producers and the quality of imported food, overall, the positives are more significant.
In recent times, shoppers in many countries have the option to buy food from all over the world at supermarkets. In my view, while this trend can sometimes negatively affect local producers and the quality of imported food, the overall benefits are more significant.
On the one hand, the availability of global food products in supermarkets can present two major challenges. One problem is that it can reduce the sales of locally produced food and lead to joblessness and potential bankruptcy for local producers and farmers as they usually struggle to compete with famous international brands. Many customers would probably prefer more widely-known brands, viewing them as more reliable, which can greatly reduce the demand for local products. Importing food from other countries can also affect both its freshness and quality. Because of the long distances required for transportation, imported food is usually not as fresh as locally produced options and may include preservatives or additives, which could be harmful to health.
On the one hand, the availability of global food products in supermarkets presents two major challenges. One issue is that it can reduce the sales of locally produced food, leading to job losses and potential bankruptcy for local producers and farmers, who often struggle to compete with well-known international brands. Many customers tend to prefer these widely recognized brands, viewing them as more reliable, which can significantly diminish the demand for local products. Additionally, importing food from other countries can impact both its freshness and quality. Due to the long distances required for transportation, imported food is often not as fresh as locally produced options and may contain preservatives or additives that could be harmful to health.
Despite these drawbacks, the benefits of having access to a diverse range of global food products cannot be ignored. Firstly, it leads to increased consumer choices and allows them to buy a product based on their preferences, dietary needs, or cultural background. For instance, Iranian immigrants in Europe and North America can purchase ingredients of Iranian cuisines, such as saffron, from supermarkets, and enjoy cooking traditional local food. In addition, importing food products from various countries helps international trade and the economy. The exchange of food between countries can create new occupational opportunities, and strengthen their economic relationship. This can also encourage local farmers to stay in the competition and offer higher quality products and more varied options.
Despite these drawbacks, the benefits of having access to a diverse range of global food products cannot be overlooked. Firstly, it increases consumer choice, allowing individuals to purchase products based on their preferences, dietary needs, or cultural backgrounds. For instance, Iranian immigrants in Europe and North America can find ingredients for traditional Iranian cuisine, such as saffron, in supermarkets, enabling them to enjoy cooking their local dishes. Furthermore, importing food products from various countries supports international trade and boosts the economy. The exchange of food between nations can create new job opportunities and strengthen economic relationships. This dynamic can also encourage local farmers to remain competitive by offering higher quality products and a wider variety of options.
In conclusion, while the accessibility of global food products in supermarkets around the world is not without drawbacks, I believe we gain more than we lose from this development.
In conclusion, while the accessibility of global food products in supermarkets around the world is not without its drawbacks, I believe that the advantages we gain from this development far outweigh the disadvantages.
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Overall Band Score
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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of having access to global food products in supermarkets. The writer clearly states their opinion that the positives outweigh the negatives.
  • Development of Ideas: The essay provides a balanced discussion with relevant examples, such as the impact on local producers and the benefits for consumers with diverse dietary needs. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or data to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, contributing to a coherent argument.
  • Cohesive Devices: The use of linking words and phrases (e.g., "on the one hand," "despite these drawbacks," "in conclusion") helps to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow between ideas.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of terms related to the topic, such as "imported food," "local producers," and "international trade."
  • Precision and Variety: While the vocabulary is generally precise, there is room for more variety in word choice to avoid repetition and enhance the richness of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, which adds to the sophistication of the writing.
  • Grammar and Punctuation: The grammar is generally accurate, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For example, the phrase "famous international brands" could be more specific, and the sentence "This can also encourage local farmers to stay in the competition and offer higher quality products and more varied options" could be rephrased for clarity.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Provide More Specific Examples: Incorporate specific examples or data to support the points made, particularly regarding the economic impact on local producers and the quality of imported food.
  2. Enhance Cohesion: Work on smoother transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow of the essay.
  3. Expand Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and add depth to the argument.
  4. Clarify Sentences: Rephrase complex sentences for clarity and ensure that each point is clearly articulated.

Overall, the essay presents a well-reasoned argument with a clear stance, but it could be strengthened with more detailed examples and improved cohesion.