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Question: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required ...

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There is a controversial debate between those who believe that people who possess a high level of education ought to work in the country where they matriculated, and others who assume that they are entitled to select freely anywhere aroundin the world to work. I personally think that they should be free to choose countries where they are interested in finding a job. In this essay, I will examine both opinions and eventually present my own view. There is no doubt that working experts in their own country leads to numerous benefits for developing a country. But, if they are under pressure to work in their own country, which is not their interest, they will definitely not have high performance, and perhaps they will withdraw from their position, because they become frustrated. Indeed, if governments do not support experts who have a high level of knowledge, they will lose their incentives to work in their own country. On the other hand, professionals should make the decision to find work in any country they want freely. This case not only has privilegesadvantages for the country where they did their courses but also provides beneficial experience for them. As a result, they can work in other countries where they can gain more beneficialvaluable experience and come back to their own country and try to develop it. Thus, they ought to choose any positions whichthat they think have better possible achievements or more efficient work experience. To sum up, there are different beliefs betweenamong people that experts should serve their own country where they got their certificate, and professional engineers or doctors are able to choose any country to work freely. With regard to the given information, experts should make their own decision freely to work in any country they think is more ideal. Meanwhile, it not only provides significant benefits for their own country but also renders more beneficialadvantageous circumstances for themselves.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
There is a controversial debate between those who believe that people who possess high level of education ought to work in the country where they matriculated, and others who assume that they are entitled to select freely anywhere around the world to work. I personally think that they should be free to choose countries where they are interested in finding a job. In this essay, I will examine both opinions and eventually present my own view. There is no doubt that working experts in their own country leads to numerous benefits for developing a country. But, if they are under pressure to work in their own country, which is not their interest, they will definitely not have high performance, and perhaps they will withdraw from their position, because they become frustrated. Indeed, if governments do not support experts who have high level of knowledge, they will lose their incentives to work in their own country. On the other hand, professionals should make the decision to find work in any country they want freely. This case not only has privileges for the country where they did their courses but also provides beneficial experience for them. As a result, they can work in other countries where they can gain more beneficial experience and come back to their own country and try to develop it. Thus, they ought to choose any positions which they think have better possible achievements or more efficient work experience. To sum up, there are different beliefs between people that experts should serve their own country where they got their certificate, and professional engineers or doctors are able to choose any country to work freely. With regard to the given information, experts should make their own decision freely to work in any country they think is more ideal. Meanwhile, not only provides significant benefits for their own country but also renders more beneficial circumstances for themselves.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
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Linking Words
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Grammar Accuracy
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Grammar Range
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Cohesion
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Task Response
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Word Count
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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on whether professionals should work in the country where they trained or have the freedom to work elsewhere. The writer also provides a personal opinion, aligning with the task requirements.
  • Clarity and Relevance: The main ideas are relevant to the prompt, and the writer clearly states their position. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to support the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusion. The structure helps in understanding the flow of ideas.
  • Cohesive Devices: The use of cohesive devices such as "on the other hand," "as a result," and "to sum up" helps in linking ideas. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource

  • Vocabulary: The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with terms like "matriculated," "incentives," and "beneficial experience." However, there is some repetition of phrases like "high level of education" and "beneficial experience," which could be varied to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
  • Word Choice: Some word choices could be improved for precision. For example, "privileges" in "This case not only has privileges for the country" could be replaced with "benefits" for clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structure: The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the readability. However, some sentences are complex and could be simplified for clarity.
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are minor grammatical errors, such as "people who possess high level of education" (should be "a high level of education") and "they will definitely not have high performance" (could be "they may not perform well"). Attention to these details would improve the grammatical accuracy.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Provide Examples: Incorporate specific examples or case studies to strengthen the arguments and make them more convincing.
  2. Enhance Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and demonstrate lexical flexibility.
  3. Simplify Complex Sentences: Break down overly complex sentences to improve clarity and ensure the reader can easily follow the argument.
  4. Proofread for Grammar: Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and punctuation to enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the task and presents a clear opinion, but it could be improved with more detailed support and refined language use.