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Question: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population i...

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Suburban residents' migration to cities is a widespread phenomenon. This reduction in the rural populace comes with its fair share of advantages and downturnsdisadvantages; however, I am of the opinion that its negative impacts outweigh the benefits. Moving to urban areas is believed to be beneficial not only to individuals but also to wildlife. Rural areas usually do not have sufficient amenities needed for certain professions; thereby, moving to urban areas might open doors to uncharted territories, by venturing into which allowing individuals will be able to unleash their potential. Moreover, human beings have extended their living areas at the expense of destroying floras'flora and faunas'fauna habitats. This practice is usually uncontrolled in the countryside, where people are not educated enough to consider the long-term effects of their actions. Therefore, poaching, ungovernableunregulated fishing, and wilful tree chopping represent a concerning issue that needs to be addressed. With the displacement of suburban residents, wildlife gets a chance to rejuvenate and lower the extinction rates. Meanwhile, migrated individuals get a chance to cherish their hometown reservoirsresources by receiving a thorough education on pressing matters and learning the importance of controlled usage of natural resources. However, the exodus from rural lands to cities can bring about damaging consequences both for individuals and society at large. People aim to migrate in order to ameliorateimprove their lives; however, hopes for a better life are often dashed as overpopulation puts an enormous strain on the infrastructure of cities and their ability to provide basic needs. Unable to provide decent housing, inadequate education for one's children, and low quality of life in shanty towns can trigger the high mental pressure already imposed by the alienated, frantic pace of life. This lack of serenity and unaccustomednessunfamiliarity can cause irreparable repercussions, such as chronic anxiety and depression. In addition, Healthy healthy, nutriousnutritious food consumption is an integral factoral offactor in overall well-being. As farmers migrate, the sheer number of workers on land will decline, and harvests and domestic animal breedingsbreeding will fall accordingly. This shortage in food provision can cause famine across the country, and hindershinder citizens' well-beingsbeing. In conclusion, the allure of urbanisation pales in the face of food shortages and mental health issues.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
Suburban residents migration to cities is a widespread phenomenon. This reduction in the rural populace comes with its fair share of advantages and downturns; however, I am of the opinion that its negative impacts outweigh the benefits.
The migration of suburban residents to cities is a widespread phenomenon. This reduction in the rural populace comes with its fair share of advantages and disadvantages; however, I believe that the negative impacts outweigh the benefits.
Moving to urban areas is believed to be beneficial not only to individuals but also to wildlife. Rural areas usually do not have sufficient amenities needed for certain professions; thereby, moving to urban areas might open doors to uncharted territories by venturing into which individuals will be able to unleash their potential. Moreover, human beings have extended their living areas at the expense of destroying floras' and faunas' habitats. This practice is usually uncontrolled in the countryside, where people are not educated enough to consider the long-term effects of their actions. Therefore, poaching, ungovernable fishing, and wilful tree chopping represent a concerning issue that needs to be addressed. With the displacement of suburban residents, wildlife gets a chance to rejuvenate and lower the extinction rates. Meanwhile, migrated individuals get a chance to cherish their hometown reservoirs by receiving a thorough education on pressing matters and learning the importance of controlled usage of natural resources.
Moving to urban areas is often perceived as beneficial not only for individuals but also for wildlife. Rural areas typically lack sufficient amenities needed for certain professions; therefore, relocating to urban areas can open doors to new opportunities, allowing individuals to realize their potential. Moreover, human expansion has often come at the expense of destroying flora and fauna habitats. This practice is frequently uncontrolled in the countryside, where people may not be educated enough to consider the long-term effects of their actions. Consequently, issues such as poaching, unregulated fishing, and deforestation pose significant concerns that need to be addressed. With the displacement of suburban residents, wildlife has a chance to rejuvenate, potentially lowering extinction rates. Meanwhile, those who migrate can benefit from a thorough education on pressing environmental issues and learn the importance of sustainable resource management.
However, the exodus from lands to cities can bring about damaging consequences both for individuals and society at large. People aim to migrate in order to ameliorate their lives; however, hopes for a better life are often dashed as overpopulation puts an enormous strain on the infrastructure of cities and their ability to provide basic needs. Unable to provide decent housing, inadequate education for one's children, and low quality of life in shanty towns can trigger the high mental pressure already imposed by the alienated, frantic pace of life. This lack of serenity and unaccustomedness can cause irreparable repercussions, such as chronic anxiety and depression. In addition, Healthy, nutrious food consumption is an integral factoral of overall well-being. As farmers migrate, the sheer number of workers on land will decline, and harvests and domestic animal breedings will fall accordingly. This shortage in food provision can cause famine across the country, and hinders citizens well-beings.
However, the exodus from rural areas to cities can lead to damaging consequences for both individuals and society as a whole. People often migrate in search of a better life; however, their hopes are frequently dashed as overpopulation places an enormous strain on urban infrastructure and its ability to meet basic needs. Inadequate housing, insufficient education for children, and a low quality of life in informal settlements can exacerbate the mental stress already imposed by the alienating and frantic pace of urban life. This lack of tranquility and adjustment can lead to severe repercussions, such as chronic anxiety and depression. Additionally, healthy and nutritious food consumption is a crucial component of overall well-being. As farmers migrate, the number of workers available for agricultural production declines, leading to reduced harvests and livestock breeding. This shortage in food supply can result in famine across the country and hinder the well-being of citizens.
In conclusion, the allure of urbanisation pales in the face of food shortages and mental health issues.
In conclusion, the allure of urbanization is overshadowed by the challenges of food shortages and mental health issues.
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Overall Band Score
7
Overview
Vocabulary Range
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Linking Words
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Spelling
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Grammar Accuracy
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Grammar Range
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Cohesion
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Task Response
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Word Count
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While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of rural-to-urban migration. The writer clearly states their position, arguing that the negative impacts outweigh the benefits. The response provides relevant examples and explanations to support the main points, such as the impact on wildlife and the strain on urban infrastructure. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of the positive aspects, as the negative consequences are more thoroughly discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of linking words and phrases, such as "however," "moreover," and "therefore," helps to guide the reader through the argument. However, the transition between discussing the benefits and drawbacks could be smoother. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key points more explicitly, rather than introducing new information about food shortages and mental health issues.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some sophisticated word choices such as "ameliorate," "rejuvenate," and "irreparable repercussions." However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and minor errors, such as "factoral" instead of "factor" and "nutrious" instead of "nutritious." The writer should aim to use vocabulary more precisely and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

The essay shows a variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. While the grammar is generally accurate, there are a few errors that could be improved. For example, "suburban residents migration" should be "suburban residents' migration," and "citizens well-beings" should be "citizens' well-being." Paying attention to possessive forms and subject-verb agreement would enhance the grammatical accuracy of the essay.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Balance the Argument: Provide a more balanced discussion by elaborating on the positive aspects of rural-to-urban migration, ensuring that both sides of the argument are equally explored.

  2. Improve Transitions: Enhance the coherence of the essay by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas, particularly when shifting from positive to negative aspects.

  3. Refine Vocabulary: Pay attention to word choice and spelling to avoid awkward phrasing and minor errors. Consider using synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance lexical variety.

  4. Enhance Conclusion: Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed in the essay, rather than introducing new information. This will provide a more cohesive ending to the argument.

By addressing these areas, the essay can be improved to better meet the IELTS writing criteria.