Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...
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In several countries in recent years, individuals are able to go to a supermarket and purchase foreignerforeign food products from different parts of the world. It has its own pros and cons. This essay discusses both sides of this issue. In general, I believe it is a positive development since it can be used to make a progress in the economy and boost the level of satisfaction of people.
It is widely accepted that having the opportunity to buy products from different countries increases competition in a country. In this circumstance, domestic producers ought to produce items with higher quality to compete with foreignerforeign peers. As a result, people are able to choose the better product. For instance, chocolate like Nutella and Jif areis really delicious and yummytasty. Companies in my country would produce chocolate according to the global standards, if they want to stay in the market. In this way, interiordomestic companies will create chocolate withof high quality.
On the other hand, it has several drawbacks. A group of people tend to buy only branded products and foods from other countries. They claim that domestic products do not have acceptable quality. As a result, if companies do not level up improvetheir food, they would deal with breakdowns. In addition, a large group of members in society will lose their jobjobs. It means that society will counter with faceeconomic and social issues.
In conclusion, I argue that it is critical to make a balance between using interiordomestic and exteriorforeign products. Domestic companies should to take advantagesadvantage of the competitionalcompetitive market. Not only does it help them to produce foodsfood with convenientacceptable quality, but it also helps them to earn more money by selling more foodsfood.
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Task Achievement
Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the availability of international food products in supermarkets. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer stance. While it mentions that the development is generally positive, the conclusion suggests a need for balance, which might confuse the reader about the writer's main position.
Development of Ideas: The essay provides examples, such as the mention of Nutella and Jif, to support the argument about increased competition. However, the examples could be more detailed to strengthen the argument. Additionally, the negative aspects are mentioned but not as thoroughly explored as the positive ones.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the issue. However, the transition between the positive and negative aspects could be smoother. Consider using linking words or phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
Cohesion: Some sentences could be better connected to improve the overall coherence. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits to the drawbacks could be more seamless.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary: The essay uses a range of vocabulary, such as "competition," "domestic producers," and "global standards." However, there are some awkward phrases, such as "foreigner food products" and "interior companies," which should be corrected to "foreign food products" and "domestic companies," respectively.
Word Choice: Be cautious with word choice to ensure clarity and precision. For example, "counter with economic and social issues" could be rephrased to "face economic and social challenges."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar: The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are some errors that need attention. For example, "should to take advantages" should be corrected to "should take advantage."
Sentence Structure: There is a variety of sentence structures used, which is positive. However, some sentences are awkwardly constructed and could be revised for clarity and conciseness.
Suggestions for Improvement
Clarify Position: Make your stance clearer in the introduction and ensure it is consistently reflected throughout the essay.
Expand on Examples: Provide more detailed examples to support your arguments, especially when discussing the drawbacks.
Improve Transitions: Use linking words to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
Refine Vocabulary: Correct awkward phrases and ensure precise word choice.
Revise Grammar: Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.
By addressing these areas, the essay can be more effective in conveying its arguments and achieving a higher level of coherence and clarity.