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Question: In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all ov...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
The idea that in some countries, customers can buy all kinds allof food produced around the world is popular. From my point of view, access to all types of food in many countries has some favorablepositive aspects, which will be addressed in this essay. First and foremost, a variety of food in supermarkets in some countries provides a situation in which immigrants who would like to have their traditional food, can easily buy their favoritefavourite food, and it may cause recallingthem to recall their memories. For instance, my family, who hashave migrated abroad, are extremely keen on trying Iranian food again. If this change spreads all over the world, it will resolve immigrants’ desires. Furthermore, some partparts of the world hashave many limitations in the variety of food, so all their original food is restricted to only several types. Thus, the distribution of other food, especially the ones those that are categorizedcategorised as nutrient-rich, can be helpful for their citizens in order to have more options to choose from. For example, some people like to taste Italian food for several reasons, like such as its taste, and being nutrients, etc., nutritious; in this situation, it is not necessary to travel to Italy, and they are able to buy it from a supermarket in their neighborhoodneighbourhood. By way of conclusion, the issue that nowadays usually of whether all kinds of food are available in supermarkets in some countries is a positive or negative development is controversial. As far as I am concerned, providing a condition in which some people in the world have access to a variety of food has positive points, which have been discussed throughout the essay.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
The idea that in some countries, customers can buy all kinds all food produced around the world is popular. From my point of view, access to all types of food in many countries has some favorable aspects, which will be addressed in this essay.
The idea that customers in some countries can purchase a wide variety of food produced around the world is increasingly popular. From my perspective, access to diverse types of food in many countries has several favorable aspects, which I will discuss in this essay.
First and foremost, a variety of food in supermarkets in some countries provides a situation in which immigrants who would like to have their traditional food, easily buy their favorite food and it may cause recalling their memories. For instance, my family, who has migrated abroad, are extremely keen on trying Iranian food again. If this change spreads all over the world, it will resolve immigrants’ desires.
First and foremost, the variety of food available in supermarkets in certain countries creates an opportunity for immigrants to easily find their traditional foods, which can evoke cherished memories. For instance, my family, who has migrated abroad, is extremely keen on enjoying Iranian cuisine again. If this trend continues to spread globally, it will help fulfill the culinary desires of immigrants.
Furthermore, some part of the world has many limitations in the variety of food so all their original food is restricted to only several types. Thus, the distribution of other food especially the ones that are categorized as nutrient-rich can be helpful for their citizens in order to have more options to choose from. For example, some people like to taste Italian food for several reasons like its taste, being nutrients, etc., in this situation is not necessary to travel to Italy, and they are able to buy it from a supermarket in their neighborhood.
Furthermore, many regions of the world face limitations in food variety, with their original cuisine restricted to only a few types. Therefore, the availability of other foods, especially those categorized as nutrient-rich, can be beneficial for citizens, providing them with more options to choose from. For example, many people enjoy Italian cuisine for various reasons, such as its flavor and nutritional value. In this case, it is not necessary to travel to Italy, as they can conveniently purchase it from a local supermarket.
By way of conclusion, the issue that nowadays usually all kinds of food are available in supermarkets in some countries is a positive or negative development is controversial. As far as I am concerned, providing a condition in which some people in the world have access to a variety of food has positive points, which have been discussed throughout the essay.
In conclusion, the question of whether the widespread availability of diverse foods in supermarkets in some countries is a positive or negative development is a matter of debate. In my opinion, the ability for people around the world to access a variety of foods has significant positive implications, as discussed throughout this essay.
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Overall Band Score
6.5
Overview
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Task Achievement

  • Response to the Prompt: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the positive aspects of having access to a variety of international foods in supermarkets. However, it could be improved by explicitly stating whether the development is overall positive or negative in the introduction and conclusion.
  • Development of Ideas: The essay provides two main points: the benefit to immigrants and the increased variety for consumers. These points are relevant and supported with examples, but the essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion by considering potential negative aspects of this development.

Coherence and Cohesion

  • Organization: The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. However, the introduction could be more engaging, and the conclusion could more clearly summarize the main points and restate the overall stance.
  • Cohesive Devices: The use of linking words and phrases (e.g., "First and foremost," "Furthermore," "By way of conclusion") helps in guiding the reader through the argument. However, transitions between ideas could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

  • Range of Vocabulary: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as "immigrants," "nutrient-rich," and "distribution." However, there is room for more varied and precise language to enhance the argument.
  • Accuracy: There are minor errors in word choice and form, such as "all kinds all food" which should be "all kinds of food," and "being nutrients" which should be "being nutritious."

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

  • Sentence Structures: The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, which is good. However, some sentences are awkwardly constructed or contain grammatical errors, such as "If this change spreads all over the world, it will resolve immigrants’ desires," which could be clearer.
  • Grammar and Punctuation: There are some grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues and missing articles. For example, "some part of the world has many limitations" should be "some parts of the world have many limitations."

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Introduction and Conclusion: Clearly state your position in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion. Consider briefly mentioning potential negatives to provide a balanced view.
  2. Development of Ideas: Explore both positive and negative aspects of the development to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
  3. Language and Grammar: Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Proofread to correct minor errors and improve clarity.
  4. Vocabulary: Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively.

Overall, the essay presents a clear argument in favor of the positive aspects of international food availability in supermarkets, but it would benefit from a more balanced discussion and improved language accuracy.