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Question: Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory j...

Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
certain people ofin society think that dealing with an undesired occasionsituation is withinin their best interest, Forfor instance an unacceptable profession or lack of capital. Rest of them debate Others argue that it is better to endeavorendeavour and develop similarimprove such situations. In my opinion, although sometimes it is almost impossible to change the current situation, human instinct is always trying to make progress and move towards their goals and objectives. hence Hence, iI believe that one must leave their comfort zone and take riskrisks to achieve their purposes. inIn the paragraphs below, i I am going to elaborate more on my view. oneOne convincing explanation in favorfavour of remaining in the current occupation is the lack of capital and shortage of willpower to take risks inamong most of the workers and employers of companies and factories. Establishing a new job needs bigrequires a large amount of funds, and this is not feasible for most of the laborlabour force; that's why a large percentage of workers cannot set up their own businessbusinesses and are forced to be an employee employees. In addition, after a certain age, taking a risk becomes very demanding and challenging. As people grow older, they are facingface a lack of energy and enthusiasm. Therefore, it is suitable to being onremain in their stable situation. On the other hand, human nature is against standing still. They must leave their comfort zone and fulfil their ambitions. Although sometimes it is a demanding action, to make progress there is no other choice except taking risks and thinkthinking outside the box. Furthermore, providing family members with sufficient facilities, welfare, proper housing, and a promising future needsrequires a high -income profession that can only be achieved by persevearenceperseverance and economicaleconomic ventures. In conclusion, people who are pursing thirpursuing their objectives are appreciableadmirable and should be rspected ,respected, regardless of whether they are working for themselves or for an organization organisation. In a word, human time is restrictedlimited and should not be allocated to fulfil otherfulfilling others's ambitions; and people must go after their  own  dreams.
This section presents vocabulary suggestions. Highlighted words are either too simple or are repeated more than 3 times . Please note that some suggested alternatives might require changes to other parts of the sentence.
This section presents a professionally wirtten variation of your essay and highlights the differences.
certain people of society think that dealing with an undesired occasion is within their best interest , For instance unacceptable profession or lack of capital . Rest of them debate that it is better to endeavor and develop similar situations . In my opinion , although sometimes it is almost impossible to change the current situation , human instinct is always trying to make progress and move towards their goals and objectives . hence , i believe that one must leave comfort zone and take risk to achieve their purposes . in the paragraphs below i am going to elaborate more on my view .
Some members of society believe that accepting unfavorable circumstances is in their best interest, such as enduring an undesirable profession or financial constraints. Others argue that it is better to strive for improvement. In my opinion, while changing one's situation may sometimes seem impossible, human nature inherently drives us to progress toward our goals. Therefore, I believe individuals must step out of their comfort zones and take calculated risks to achieve their aspirations. The following paragraphs will elaborate on this perspective.
one convincing explanation in favor of remaining in the current occupation is lack of capital and shortage of willpower to take risks in most of the workers and employers of companies and factories. Establishing a new job needs big amount of funds and this is not feasible for most of the labor force ; that's why a large percentage of workers cannot set up their own business and are forced to be an employee . In addition , after a certain age taking a risk becomes very demanding and challenging. As people grow older they are facing lack of energy and enthusiasm. Therefore it is suitable to being on their stable situation.
One reason some prefer to remain in their current occupations is the lack of capital and reluctance to take risks, particularly among employees and business owners. Starting a new venture requires significant financial resources, which many workers cannot afford, forcing them to remain in stable employment. Additionally, as people age, taking risks becomes increasingly challenging due to declining energy and motivation. Thus, maintaining a secure position may seem more practical.
On the other hand human nature is against standing still. They must leave their comfort zone and fulfil their ambitions. Although sometimes it is a demanding action , to make progress there is no other choice except taking risks and think outside the box. Furthermore , providing family members with sufficient facilities , welfare , proper housing and promising future needs high income profession that can only be achieved by persevearence and economical ventures.
However, human nature resists stagnation. To progress, individuals must leave their comfort zones and pursue their ambitions. Although demanding, growth often requires innovative thinking and calculated risks. Moreover, providing families with financial security, better living conditions, and future opportunities often depends on pursuing higher-income professions, which may involve perseverance and entrepreneurial efforts.
In conclusion , people who are pursing thir objectives are appreciable and should be rspected ,regardless of whether they are working for themselves or for an organization . In a word , human time is restricted and should not be allocated to fulfil other's ambitions and people must go after their own dreams.
In conclusion, those who pursue their goals deserve admiration, whether they work independently or within an organization. Life is finite, and individuals should prioritize their own ambitions rather than dedicating their time solely to fulfilling others' expectations.
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Check your essay for this topic
Overall Band Score
5.5
Overview
Vocabulary Range
average
Linking Words
average
Spelling
weak
Grammar Accuracy
average
Grammar Range
average
Cohesion
average
Paragraph Structure
average
Task Response
strong
Word Count
sufficient
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.

Feedback on the Essay

Task Achievement

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, which aligns with the prompt. However, the response could be more balanced in discussing the opposing view before presenting the writer’s stance. Some arguments lack depth—for example, the discussion on why people might accept a bad situation could be expanded with more concrete examples or reasoning. The conclusion is clear but somewhat abrupt.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a logical structure, but some transitions between ideas are weak. For instance, the shift from discussing why people stay in unsatisfactory jobs to arguing for taking risks feels abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for better readability. The use of cohesive devices (e.g., "On the other hand," "In conclusion") is present but could be more varied and natural.

Lexical Resource

There is a mix of appropriate vocabulary (e.g., "endeavor," "perseverance," "economic ventures"), but some word choices are awkward or incorrect (e.g., "undesired occasion" instead of "undesirable situation," "persevearence" instead of "perseverance"). Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "take risks" is used multiple times without variation). More precise and sophisticated vocabulary would improve the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors, including:

  • Incorrect verb forms ("human instinct is always trying" → "human instinct always tries")
  • Missing articles ("leave comfort zone" → "leave the comfort zone")
  • Awkward phrasing ("people who are pursing thir objectives" → "people pursuing their objectives")
  • Punctuation issues (e.g., missing commas, inconsistent capitalization)

While complex sentences are attempted, some are unclear due to grammatical mistakes. Proofreading for subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions would help.

Suggestions for Improvement

  1. Balance the Discussion – Spend more time explaining why some people prefer accepting bad situations before arguing against it.
  2. Improve Transitions – Use more cohesive devices to smoothly connect ideas (e.g., "Despite this," "Conversely").
  3. Expand Examples – Provide real-life scenarios or studies to strengthen arguments.
  4. Proofread for Grammar – Review verb forms, articles, and punctuation to enhance clarity.
  5. Vary Vocabulary – Replace repetitive phrases with synonyms (e.g., "take risks" → "embark on ventures," "assume financial risks").

Overall, the essay presents a clear opinion but would benefit from more balanced arguments, refined grammar, and stronger cohesion.