Question: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in...
Marking Generated by Free AI Models
You are on the free tier, which uses free AI models. They can occasionally be slow, unstable, or temporarily unavailable. Balang Plus uses premium models for faster, more reliable, and higher-quality marking.
Click on red question marks (?) to see an explanation for each change. Some changes are only suggestions and don't mean the original is necessarily wrong.
In today's competitive market, many businesses focus on promoting their products as new or innovative. There are several reasons for this trend, and in this essay I will discuss them. In my opinion, this development is both positive and negative depending on how it is used.
One reason why companies emphasize newness is to attract customers. Consumers are often attracted to products that are described as new because they assume that these products are better or more advanced than older versions. For example, tech companies like Apple release new smartphone models every year, even if the improvements over previous models are very small. This strategy makes the products seem modern and better, which can boost sales. Additionally, in a saturated market, businesses neededneed to make difference in differentiatetheir products from competitors by highlighting unique features or upgrades. This helphelps them significantly to attract more consumers for thiertheir products.
This trend has both benefits and drawbacks. On the positive side, the emphasis on newness leadleads to competition and innovation. Companies try to do better than outperformeach other by developing better products, which eventually benefits consumers. However, there are drawbacks to this trend. By constantly seeking newness, companies risk encouraging unnecessary product upgrades and waste. Many people end up buying things they do not really need, leading to waste and environmental damage. For instance, electronic waste havehas become a major global issue because people throw away old devices too quickly. Moreover, focusing solely on newness might distract businesses from addressing other important aspects such as quality or sustainability.
In conclusion, the tendency of businesses to highlight newness in advertising is due to a saturated market and technological growth. While it promotes innovation and competitiveness, it also contributes to overconsumption and waste. Therefore, I believe this trend has both positive and negative aspects and should be managed carefully.
While we are confident in our score estimation, you are not guaranteed to receive the same score in an official test.
Here is your feedback based on IELTS writing criteria:
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing why businesses emphasize newness and evaluating whether it is positive or negative.
The response is well-developed with clear explanations and relevant examples (e.g., Apple’s product releases, electronic waste).
The conclusion summarizes the main points and presents a balanced view, fulfilling the task requirements.
Minor grammatical errors (e.g., "businesses needed" → "businesses need," "lead" → "leads") do not significantly hinder clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Ideas are well-connected, though some transitions could be smoother (e.g., "Additionally, in saturated market" could be reworded for better flow).
Paragraphing is appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument.
Some awkward phrasing (e.g., "This help them significantly" → "This helps them significantly") slightly affects cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied (e.g., "competitive market," "saturated market," "overconsumption").
Some word choices could be more precise (e.g., "make difference" → "differentiate").
Minor spelling errors (e.g., "thier" → "their") and informal phrasing (e.g., "do better than each other") slightly reduce lexical sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, demonstrating grammatical range.
Several errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., "lead" → "leads," "have" → "has") and tense consistency ("needed" → "need") are present.
Articles and prepositions are occasionally missing or misused (e.g., "in saturated market" → "in a saturated market").
Suggestions for Improvement
Proofread for grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and tense consistency.
Refine transitions between ideas for smoother coherence (e.g., "Moreover, focusing solely on newness..." could be linked more explicitly to the previous point).
Replace informal phrasing with more academic alternatives (e.g., "do better than each other" → "outperform competitors").
Overall, the essay is well-structured and addresses the prompt effectively, but grammatical and lexical errors slightly reduce its clarity and sophistication. With minor refinements, it would meet higher IELTS standards.